Sno Luck
by Sour Schuyler
Summary: Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a gloomy Yugi's house during a snow day… which turns into a snow week. Too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! mokubayugi, kaibayami, both ONESIDED. Mentions other pairings
1. Oh, the wall!

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are totally stuck at a totally straight Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad they're both in love with different sides of him! mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness and evil toasters This is… odd, to say the least.

By Sour Schuyler

Chapter 1: In which Kaiba is meaner than usual

The windows were piled up against with sheer white. Molten rage was coursing through Seto Kaiba's veins, but he did well to suppress it. Even if he was in a situation he'd much rather be out of, he was a guest.

Mokuba was sitting by the window, stupidly staring at the wall of white, trying to will it away. Yugi was also very disgruntled. The petite gamer had his Game Boy Advance and was doing well to ignore everyone and everything at this early hour.

"…Yawn," Kaiba voiced. The bored CEO scratched his arm incompetently before looking up to conquer a pair of darling amethyst eyes with a fierce glare. He growled, _"Why _am I still here?"

"It's not my fault you got caught at my house in a blizzard, Kaibakun," Yugi said tartly, emerging from his little universe of fairies and dragons just to say so. He turned back to his game, Spyro: Season of Ice.

"_I had to sleep on the floor!" _Kaiba shouted in vociferation. Mokuba turned away from the window stared at his older brother, puzzled.

"Nii-sama, stop it. You're acting even more mean than usual," the eleven-year-old said in a cute, childish, moving to sit next to Yugi. "It's not Yugi's fault he only had one extra futon."

"Yes, that's right. Listen to your younger brother Kaibakun, he's a lot nicer than you." Yugi's purple eyes glared at Kaiba. Mokuba could feel himself staring. Yugi's glare was a lot different than any others he had seen. It was like a soft glare.

Kaiba caught his brother staring. "What are you doing?" he huffed.

Mokuba replied honestly, "Staring at Yugi."

"Why are you staring at me?" Yugi wanted to know. Mokuba poked him hard in the ribs. "Ow."

"Because you're weird," Mokuba lied. "And flimsy. Like a girl."

"Gee, thanks," Yugi said. He blew bubbles in his chocolate milk torpidly, trying to think of his happy place.

It was six in the morning. Yugi was bored, and both the Kaiba brothers were acting strange. Yugi himself was probably acting a little more cranky than per usual, but that was simply because he was tired. However, there was no excuse for the others. Kaiba had slept well, despite his protests against sleeping on the floor, and his younger brother had instantly transported to la-la land the second his head hit the pillow. Like an intoxicated cherub, Yugi mused randomly. Now _there _was a funny thought. Yugi smiled to himself before looking up.

"You look like a saturnine dragon," Yugi told Kaiba. "Appropriate, for you. So… Do you have any yen to duel, Kaibakun?"

"What does money have to do with it?" Mokuba asked. "Are you two gambling?"

"The other type of yen, Mokuba," Kaiba informed him. Mokuba blanked out.

"Oh," he said, having no idea what the other meaning of yen was. "Sure."

"So are we going to duel or what?" Yugi demanded. Kaiba blinked in modest surprise.

Kaiba asked incredulously, "Here?"

"Yup." Yugi started to clear the table away. "We don't have an arena in our house, obviously, so we can play Duel Monsters the old-fashioned way right here! So let's duel already! Okay?"

"Do I have a choice?" Kaiba snorted.

"Nope!" Yugi chirped. Kaiba considered this for a second. Mokuba could've sworn he saw his big brother's eyes soften as he realized that Yami Yugi would have to come out of the puzzle for Yugi to duel. Kaiba sat down in the rather uncomfortable chair and slowly took out his deck. Mokuba waited, his face forlorn.

It happened so fast, it was impossible for anyone to watch. One second it was Yugi, the next _instant _it was Yami. Inexplicable metamorphosis.

Mokuba slumped. No wonder his nii-sama had wanted to duel, he was trying to discourage his crush on Yugi… He wandered out of the room as Yami and Kaiba drew their cards and fell asleep on the futon.

It was an hour later when Yugi entered the room, searching for his friend. "Mokubakun?" he called out softly.

The silver-haired youth opened his eyes. "Yeah… Yugi?"

Yugi beamed. "Hey! We're done dueling now so you can come back in if you want. I found some sponge cake from last week, if you want some of that. Kaibakun's having some."

Mokuba cracked his eye's open a smidgeon farther. Cake?

"Cake?" he repeated.

"Mm-hm." Yugi nodded politely. "Of course you could always just stay here and sleep if you want; Gomen kudasai."

Mokuba pushed himself up. "No that's alright. I'll get up…"

Yugi nodded and smiled, turning around and walking back into the kitchen. All he had really wanted was to be alone this weekend, and maybe watch the video that Joey had lent him. But no, he had to be stuck in-between the two Kaiba brothers. That was just great…


	2. In Which Mokuba Gets Hit By A Toaster

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are totally stuck at a totally straight Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad they're both in love with different sides of him! mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness and evil toasters This is… odd, to say the least.

By Sour Schuyler

* * *

I thought I was going to have to burn on a pole for writing a Mokuba/Yugi one-sided story, but apparently Akio the Dragon Master thinks it's funny instead of disgusting:D Hopefully this chapter will help and strengthen that thought… this is not meant to be a yaoi fan fiction at all, or even to have any shounen-ai, though that's what it's rated for. But apparently one-sided shounen-ai is different, especially when the crushee is straight. At least that's what I'm hoping/sweat/ See, Akio-chan? YOU INFLUENCE MY WRITING! FEEL IMPORTANT/sigh…/ I wonder what CD my sister is playing upstairs… Hm… Yugi had BETTER be straight, at least… or else he has a LOT of explaining to do as to why he's borrowing those videos. "For my grandpa" just doesn't quite cut it (although it is believably XP). Also, to Misura… he he he. You are the only one, I think, you caught that reference. That is entirely what I meant, because we all know that's entirely what it is. /wicked grin/ That's Yugi for ya.

* * *

Chapter 2: In which Mokuba gets hit by a toaster

"Kaibakun! Stop eating all of my cake," Yugi complained. He sounded very crabby.

"Well then you shouldn't have offered it to me then," Kaiba pointed out, obnoxious as ever. "Now be a good host and shut up and sit down."

Yugi harrumphed and did so, settling back against the stiff chair made of white wicker. Mokuba stole this chance to glom Yugi again. The petite duelist's silky blonde bangs brushed against his cheek as he closed his eyes and (Mokuba guessed he was probably doing this, it was a rather effective technique that he had tried himself) counted backwards from one hundred.

His bangs… hanging in his face like that. Didn't it bother him? It looked so pretty… Mokuba felt like he was being extremely quiet. Should he say something?

"Yugi," Mokuba said lethargically, enunciating each word. "May… I… please… have… some… more… cake?"

Yugi smiled sweetly at him. "Sure, Mokuba!" he exclaimed propitiously. Kaiba nearly spit his cake out when Yugi winked flirtatiously at Mokuba. The eleven-year-old, shaggy-haired boy quickly lowered his head to stare at his plate, so that his god-awfully thick hair could cascade around him and hide his ferocious blush.

"You freak!" Kaiba screamed.

Yugi laughed maliciously, until he got hit by something squishy and yellow.

"You threw cake at me!" he accused. "It wasn't as if I _meant _anything by the gesture! Sheez. We're both guys. That would be sick."

It was lucky for Mokuba that he didn't hear what Yugi had just said. Kaiba just shrugged. He didn't particularly care for the "benign" side of Yugi, so anything he did to get him hot and bothered was a plus. Kaiba only cared about the tough side of Yugi.

"Cake looks good on you," he said simply.

Yugi growled. "Well you can't have anymore."

"How eleemosynary of you, Yugi," Kaiba said. Yugi's eyes went wide in surprise.

"What… the… heeeeeeeeeey…" Yugi ran into the next room to retrieve a dictionary.

"…" Kaiba ate another piece of sponge cake.

"How do you spell that?" Yugi asked from upstairs.

"E, l, e, e, m, o, s, y, n, a, r, y," Kaiba spelled. "It's not an insult you know!"

"Whatever. I'll believe that when I read it." The sound of Yugi flipping through the pages of a Webster could be heard. The amiable boy returned to the kitchen a minute later and sat down again. He was calm, with the self-discipline of a monk. Then he picked up some cake and chucked it at Kaiba for his sarcasm.

Kaiba threw a whole piece at Yugi in rebuttal, but unfortunately for Mokuba he kind of… missed by at least three feet. No one ever said that Kaiba could aim. The flying piece of pastry goodness instead assailed a nearby toaster, which had previously been balancing precariously on the edge of the shelf above Yugi and Mokuba's heads. And it fell. The large, silver toaster sailed through the air and nearly imploded poor Mokuba Kaiba's skull.

_Bam!_

And the loud sound echoed… and then.

"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Mokuba howled, clawing at his head in frustration. Kaiba and Yugi snickered.

"Sorry Mokuba," Kaiba apologized unconvincingly. Mokuba glared at him.

"You did that on purpose nii-sama!" he cried. His lips twisted into a scowl even as he made his accusation, which then contorted into a pout.

"Did not," was Kaiba's answer. Yugi was still snickering.

"Did too!" Mokuba shot back.

"Did not."

"Did too!"

"Did not."

"Did not."

"You did _too _throw it at me on purpose!" Mokuba yelled, his lower lip quivering. His head really hurt, and he was in danger of crying because of the pain.

"I did _not."_

"Did too!" Mokuba fairly screamed. His shrill voice caused Yugi to wince. Mokuba ran out of the room crying.

"Greeeeeeeeeeat…" Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Keeki kudasai?"

"Whatever," Yugi muttered, wondering where Mokuba was running too. He hoped he wasn't in his room touching his stuff.

Kaiba nodded pompously and presumptively reached for an additional piece sponge cake, but suddenly his belly flopped out on him. "Ugh," he groaned, knowing he had eaten too much cake. "Yugi where's your bathroom?"


	3. In which Mokuba sneezes a whole lot

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are totally stuck at a totally straight Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad they're both in love with different sides of him! mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness and evil toasters This is… odd, to say the least.

By Sour Schuyler

To Phoenix of the Frickin' Sea, I hope long words don't bother you. After all, dictionaries never hurt anyone human. Webster caught and ate a few flies, though. ;) Those sesquippedalian meanies! And to Lindsey and Leila the BMGs, could I recommend my fan fiction _Ma Proie? _I just get the feeling that you'd like it.

Chapter 3: In which Mokuba sneezes a whole lot

Mokuba ran without aim, acting like a huge baby. He ended up in Yugi's bedroom, where he found a keen stationary set. This was tearing him up inside, this feeling; he decided that he should tell Yugi now how he felt, and that he could do it through a letter.

Yugi had a quaint old-fashioned quill pen and a bottle of ink. Mokuba also noted that he had papyrus paper. That looked cool. Mokuba grabbed a sheet of construction paper, though – pink, the color of evil and love – and dabbed the quill into the ink. He took it out and started to write.

Mokuba sneezed frequently as he wrote, Each sneeze was connected to the next fluidly, a long and miserable chain of wheezes and sneezes chained together like inmates. Mokuba grabbed a tissue and blew his nose. Luckily Yugi had a box of tissues on his desk. It didn't matter that he was writing, because he was very inexperienced with a quill pen and the ink kept slopping together, making most of the words unrecognizable. But he was sneezing, and sneezing.

"I must be allergic to an elemis in the ink," the intelligent eleven-year-old realized. He balled up the paper and swished it into the garbage. Then he ran to the bathroom, rubbing his eyes, which were beginning to redden; he knew by the way they itched and burned.

Meanwhile, Kaiba was in the bathroom, doing nothing really. He supposed he should be vomiting, but C.E.O.'s were a very clean race and did not usually vomit in other people's houses.

"Kaiba-kuuuuuuuuuun!" Yugi wailed, pounding on the bathroom door. "I have to peeeeeee! OPEN UP!"

Kaiba grinned. "Just a second Yugi." Kaiba leaned back against the wall, enjoying the cool air coming from the air vent. A goofy smile encompassed nearly his entire face. It was, well, un-Kaiba-y. "I may have to go again."

"Errrrrrrrg, Kaibakun! I know you don't have to 'go'!" Yugi turned around and leaned against the door, heaving a heavy sigh. Just then Mokuba came and attached himself to the front of Yugi's shirt. An awkward, homophobic feeling undulated over his senses, and he really, really wished that Mokuba would get off. But then Yugi remember that this was Mokuba, and he was only eleven. And _then _an undulation of _Aw, poor kid, he has to live with Kaiba _swept over him like a fierce, raging river.

"Hi Mokubakun," Yugi though, seeing that Mokuba was crying. "What's wrong? Your eyes are looking kind of puffy…"

Mokuba nodded and wiped snot off on his sleeve. All he wanted was for Yugi to hug him back. His eyes had swelled and were now looking very cartoonish.

Mokuba's hopes were realized as Yugi hugged him comfortingly. "Cheer up, Mokubakun," he advised. "I don't know exactly why you are sad, but you should always remember that I'm your friend. So whatever it is, I'll help you with it!"

Mokuba nodded and stuttered. "Well—"

"I'm done!" Kaiba announced proudly as he strode augustly out of the bathroom.

"FINALLY!" Yugi rushed into the restroom and slammed the door in little Mokuba's face. The silver-haired youth sniffled lachrymosely.


	4. In which Weevil is mentioned

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are totally stuck at a totally straight Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad they're both in love with different sides of him! mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness and evil toasters This is… odd, to say the least.

By Sour Schuyler

* * *

Whenever I take Advil, whether Adult or Children's, my eyes become really puffy. Also if I rub my eyes enough, which happened at school once. The nurse said that I looked like I had been up crying all night. I went to lunch like that. I suppose I should've been embarrassed, but I really didn't know just how puffy my eyes were. If I had known, I would've used that to my advantage and grossed out Lauren. (Not you Turkey…) Ha ha… Akio-chan, you right remember this. I know I do. I got out of diving practice and the last half of my day. /grin/ School is the worst. Anyways, ha ha, I got way off topic. Or maybe not. But DOUBLE UPDATES in one day! What could be better! (Besides one hundred reviews?) Love y'all. Don't make me take out my machetes now! (AMERICAN DAD ROX.)

* * *

Chapter 4: In which Weevil Underwood is mentioned

Yugi went in, but Yami Yugi came out. Apparently Yami Yugi had decided that Kaiba and Mokuba were acting too weird and that he had to take over until the situation could be controlled. He didn't like the way Kaiba was looking at him, though. Was that _saliva? _What on Earth was wrong with him?

"Perhaps Kaiba has contracted rabies," Yami Yugi mused.

Kaiba was drooling a little out of the side of his mouth, but the dashing C.E.O. (fan service) didn't notice. Yami Yugi was wearing his school uniform, but the buttons were undone for "some reason" (again, fan service) in a desultory fashion, revealing his cotton white shirt, which was very snug against his skin. In other words… Six pack! Insert the stereotypic fan girl's giggling here.

Mokuba looked up at Yami Yugi, a little afraid. Why had Yugi changed? Didn't Yugi usually only change when he was dueling, or when Yugi was in some kind of danger?

Yami Yugi smiled benignly at Mokuba. "Mokuba, are you alright? Maybe we should get you some medicine for you puffy eyes, alright?"

Mokuba nodded dumbly, not really wishing to exchange words with the person who had taken over his crush's body. In fact, thinking about it that way just made him shudder and sneeze again. Yami Yugi put his hand on his shoulder and led the way towards the kitchen, and Mokuba elbowed his big brother on the way out.

"Stop drooling," he hissed. Kaiba wiped his mouth and shrugged nonchalantly. Mokuba glared daggers at his older brother before taking the stairs two at a time.

Yami Yugi took out some eye drops. "Stay still," he advised Mokuba. "You look like a bug."

"Like a praying mantis," Kaiba pitched in.

Yami started, "I bet Weevil…"

"…would find it sexy," Kaiba finished. The ex-Pharaoh glared at him, but it was easy to see the laughter hiding behind is flimsy mask. After all, everyone loves to make fun of Weevil! It was the favorite pastime of the whole world! Even the newscasters did it! And one of them was Weevil's mom!

Yami Yugi put two drops of medicine into each of Mokuba's eyes. The younger boy blinked blearily and sighed.

I want Yugi to come back, he thought. Why is Yami Yugi here anyway? I'm going to get Yugi back! Mokuba blushed. And then I'm going to tell him I like him! YEAH! Just like that!

While Mokuba was plotting to rid the household (or store hold, or whatever) of the spirit of the Millennium Puzzle, the elder Kaiba was gladly salivating over Yami Yugi again. I hope he doesn't turn back into Yugi anytime soon, he thought. Yugi just… isn't as hot, or as cool as his other self is. Or as tall, he reminded himself. Although Yami was short, he had a way of never having to look up when he spoke that carried an air of self-assurance with him wherever he went. That, and the fact that Yami was virtually an ace at any game, were the reasons that Kaiba had fallen in love with him. That, and the sight of his shirt unbuttoned.

Mokuba blinked miserably. Rrrg, puffy eyes sucked. And Weevil Underwood, the bug duelist? Mokuba shivered. If Weevil came within five feet of him now, he was suing, joke or no joke.

"Weevil reminds me of a pug," said Kaiba suddenly. Mokuba and Yugi both blinked.

"A pug?" they responded in unison. They glared at each other. "Stop that."

"A pug," said Kaiba.

"…He always reminded me of a lilac-colored Chihuahua," Yugi admitted.


	5. The type of music Yugi listens to

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are totally stuck at a totally straight Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad they're both in love with different sides of him! mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness and evil toasters This is… odd, to say the least.

By Sour Schuyler

Phoenix of the Sea, I believe that my little sister is your reincarnate. Will you please come and pick her up, please? Everybody loves Weevil. Not. Akio, remember, Yugi doesn't want a boyfriend... he just wants to be left alone. Alone, with his... ahem... video... Kaiba is the one who - well, you know, just to bug you, there's a little something about Kaiba's past relationship in chapter... oh, nine was it? Anyway, Yugi could get a boyfriend any time he wanted in the same way that Kaiba could acquire a stalker any time he wanted. I don't think Yami's scrawny... I think that he's more scrawny than Marik, though... sorry, Yams. Anyway, thanks, you two, for being so prompt with your reviews! It's so cool. Thanks. I received a Simple Plan CD for Xmas. My mom had realized that I knew the songs to the chorus of "Welcome to My Life". I'm still trying to think of a nice plot that goes with it for a songfic, though. Just think of this as a musical interlude as I try to conjure up some more ideas. Wow, but this is a long intro, ne? He he… On with the fic. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. (Oh, and as a side note, I really don't like this chapter. :P It's dumb.)

Chapter 5: The type of music Yugi listens to

Mokuba was tinkering with a toy he had seized from the store part of the house, and Kaiba was standing there, leaning against the wall and looking like a cowboy sans the cigarette. His white trench coat was kind of uncomfortable. Kaiba realized with a start that he must have used too much starch. _Again. _Oh, darn, this was so uncomfortable…

"Do you ever feel like breaking down?

Do you ever feel out of place?  
Like somehow you just don't belong  
And no one understands you."

"What are you talking about Mokuba?" Kaiba demanded, trying to smooth out the tail of his trench coat, but the amount of starch he had used made it impossible to pacify the rigid angles of the fabric. It made him look as if he continually had gas problems.

"That wasn't me, Seto," Mokuba pointed out, sticking two tinker toys together.

"Oh," Kaiba said. "So where is it coming from?"

"Gee, genius, I don't know… maybe the radio?" Mokuba rolled his eyes. Kaiba stuck out his pink tongue in Mokuba's direction.

"Do you ever wanna run away?  
Do you lock yourself in your room?  
With the radio on turned up so loud  
That no one hears you screaming."

"Have you ever done that, Mokuba?" Kaiba asked. "I remember doing that when we lived with Gozaburo."

"Yeah, me too. Too many times to count," Mokuba responded nostalgically. "Didn't really work though… I still got in trouble for screaming."

"Yeah. We needed pillows that weren't so scrawny."

"Yeah."

"No you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels alright  
You don't know what it's like to be like me.

To be hurt  
To feel lost."

"But I'm right here!" Mokuba realized, looking very confused. "In… Yugi's… house…"

"Shut up Mokuba, I'm kvetching about horribly written lyrics."

"And what do you think I am doing…?"

"To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked  
When you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around."

"You wouldn't be pushed around so much if you gained weight," Kaiba told Mokuba jocularly. Mokuba snorted.

"Shut up, Seto."

"To be on the edge of breaking down  
When no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life."

"It's my life I'd like to welcome y'all / to the Eminem show," Kaiba muttered. Mokuba elbowed him.

"I'm trying to listen to the song."

"Why?" hissed Kaiba.

"Because there's nothing else to do…"

"Ah. Good point." The populace rejoiced as Kaiba wisely shut his trap. Hallelujah / Hallelujah…

"Do you wanna be somebody else?  
Are you sick of feeling so left out?  
Are you desperate to find something more  
Before your life is over  
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?  
Are you sick of everyone around?  
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies  
While deep inside you're bleeding."

"All internal bleeding should be inspected by a medical specialist," said Kaiba in a mechanical voice.

"Seto, are you alright?"

"No you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels alright  
You don't know what it's like to be like me."

Mokuba sang along with the chorus. "To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked  
When you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
When no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life."

Kaiba was now at that breaking point that everybody feels familiar with, the point where you like the song but are too impatient to listen to the rest of it, and you want to switch it over to something else.

"No one ever lies straight to your face  
And no one ever stabbed you in the back  
You might think I'm happy  
But I'm not gonna be ok  
Everybody always gave you what you wanted  
You never had to work it was always there  
You don't know what it's like  
What it's like."

Mokuba sang again with the chorus, grating on Kaiba's nerves just a little because it mingled with the sound of the song and distorted it.

"To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked  
When you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
When no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked  
When you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
When no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life  
Welcome to my life  
Welcome to my life."

The song finally ended. Upstairs, Yugi pressed two fingers against the long button on his clock radio, smoothly turning it off.

"I thought I set this thing to wake me up at a different time," Yugi murmured. "Ah, well. I hope it didn't bother anyone. Stupid alarm clock…"


	6. The meaning of life: THIS is why you nev...

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are totally stuck at a totally straight Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad they're both in love with different sides of him! mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness and evil toasters This is… odd, to say the least.

By Sour Schuyler

* * *

To Phoenix of the Sea – oh, come now! As if Yugi doesn't win nearly all the time anyway! Let's see, he's lost, about, what? Three times? Four? I don't know. Hakudoshi-chan… Yes, cake! Katto-chan… Duress is always good… I hope you enjoyed your birthday party. :) People, please go and read and review _Mistrals and Siroccos_. It's for Kat's now-past birthday. It would mean a lot to her and me.

* * *

Chapter 6: The meaning of life

OR

THIS is why you never see them at Blockbuster…

Yugi quietly plodded down the stairs to find the Kaiba brothers looking intensely bored. Mokuba was quietly making a tall Tinker Toy tower, that was already threatening to fall over. Kaiba was doing something with his trench coat that looked odd.

"Stop scratching your butt, Kaibakun," Yugi commanded swiftly, thinking that was what Kaiba was doing. This command was accompanied by half-lidded eyes and a sweat drop. "Hey, does anybody want to watch a movie?" the blonde asked curiously on a whim. He brushed a honey-colored bang out of his face. "I have some good ones!"

"Like what?" Mokuba piped up, his silver eyes narrowed in focus as he put Tinker Toy after Tinker Toy into place.

"_Monty Python and the Meaning of Life_," Yugi explained. "I can set it up in the VCR as soon as I make a phone call."

" Adams already said it was forty-two," Kaiba said bitterly. Yugi swore under his breath. He glared at Kaiba. His hair gave him a leonine look as he did so, but Kaiba wasn't going to budge. He not only remained callous, in fact, but smug, and his handsome expression stated that he was willing to say anything to not watch that movie. His mouth was twisted into a sort of… cutesy pout.

"There, now we don't even need to watch the movie," he declared. "That's the meaning of life. That's it. Besides, that movies rated R, and it's not appropriate for Mokuba."

"Seto!" Mokuba groaned. Yugi smirked.

"That's not the meaning of life, Kaiba," the more petite boy asseverated coolly. "That, is the _answer, _to life, the universe, and everything. Not the meaning. It's the answer. But the question is-"

"Why do I care?" Kaiba muttered gloomily.

"Forty-two!" shouted Mokuba randomly. Kaiba froze, a sweat drop clinging to the side of his head.

"That was… random," he voiced. "Hmm… Mokuba…" Kaiba shook his head. "Yugi, just drop it, okay? We're not watching that movie. It's bad enough that it actually has no plot to speak of, but the fact that it has a classroom of 'questionable labeling' is the killer."

Yugi sighed. Then he pulled his face into a fragile, floppy, fabulous, frumious, fake grin. "Okey dokey artichokee!" he lilted, and he gave Kaiba a salute. Just like a little soldier. Mokuba suddenly had a vision of Yugi dressed as a marine on a commercial, looking wicked fierce while the words _An army of one _flashed across the screen. Weiiiiiiiiiird.

Kaiba's stomach groaned in protest at the comment. It was already quite unsettled with the thought of trying to stomach popcorn, especially after eating too much cake. Kaiba mused about trying to throw some of it up, but he wasn't about to actually go and do that. Bulimia was a sign of fervent weakness. The influential chief executive officer of an international, multi-million dollar company was not going to show weakness by asking his opponent for some Pepto-Bismol.

A capricious thought ran through his mind, bludgeoning the C.E.O.'s brain with stilts and high platform shoes. _Bismol_ is similar to _Dismal_, Kaiba realized randomly. I bet they did that on purpose. Oh, yeah.

It seemed even more annoying to Kaiba that Yugi remained upbeat instead of crumbling under the fierce pressures of aggravation. "Just because you don't want to watch _The Meaning of Life _doesn't mean that we can't watch another movie. I want to watch something funny. What about _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_?" the petite champion duelist suggested.

"We've seen that movie bordering on twenty times now," Kaiba informed him, tart satisfaction evident in his voice. It was fun to torture Yugi like this. "_That _movie actually has a plot. And good humor. And coconuts. I don't know what it is, but every movie is better with coconuts."

Mokuba looked up abruptly from his toys. "Nineteen," he corrected. "It's nineteen, nii-sama. We've seen it nineteen times." He then re-busied himself with his tower, which was beginning to near the ceiling.

"Nineteen," declared Kaiba redundantly. "You heard him."

"Then couldn't you watch it again?" Yugi whined. This was beginning to get ridiculous. Maybe they had seen _the Holy Grail _until they had reached the double digits in times, but he hadn't ever seen it, and he wanted to, badly. However, he had a sneaking suspicion that he already knew what Kaiba's rejoinder was going to be…

"No," said Kaiba, confirming Yugi's fears. The blonde boy sighed.

"_Cheaper by the Dozen_?" he suggested. This time it was Mokuba who declined.

"You would actually watch a movie with Hilary Duff in it?" the shaggy-haired boy inquired, goggling at him. Yugi scowled. Ra, Mokuba was so annoying! Why wouldn't he just go away! Why couldn't they both just disappear?

"_Inuyasha: Affections Touching Across Time_? Or, _Inuyasha: The Love That Transcends Time, _since that's the Japanese working title and we _are _technically Japanese, even though in the anime you never see any Japanese signs and stuff. But they take off the English signs, too. Anyway, how about that one?" Yugi was especially hopeful about this one. If Mokuba was an anime fan, he would back him up, Yugi was sure.

Unfortunately, it turned out that Mokuba wasn't an otaku. "I don't like anime," he said stiffly. Yugi rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at him.

"_The Medallion_?"

"Is that the one with Jackie Chan?" Mokuba inquired. Yugi's shoulders relaxed.

"Yeah," he affirmed. "Yeah, it is."

"We saw it last summer," Kaiba interrupted. "Isn't that the one where he gets the girl at the end, even though there was like, nothing leading up to it?"

"Er…" Yugi sweat dropped. "Yeah… I think so…"

Mokuba stood up and made a gun shape with his hand. "_Interpol: Freeze!_" he shouted. Yugi broke out into a grin.

"That's the one!" he laughed.

"Shoot!" Yugi was boiling mad. "What… what about… _Troy_."

"That is an action-packed chick flick. I do not enjoy chick flicks," Kaiba said. Mokuba nodded wisely. "Plus, it is rated R." Mokuba stopped nodding, and blinked cutely. His silver eyes reflected cerebration, that increasingly-rare state among brains. Yugi rolled his eyes and his head, letting a frustrated sigh slip out towards the ceiling.

"_Lizzie McGuire_?" Yugi suggested half-jokingly. He would have expected Mokuba to watch this. If Mokuba's hair got any longer… Mokuba could _be _a girl.

"What did I say about Hilary Duff?" Kaiba glared at Yugi. He was starting to wonder in just what way Tea influenced him.

"_The Princess Dairies_?"

"…Wow, Yugi, does your mom pick out every single one of your movies?" Kaiba asked in mock shock.

"…_The Princess Dairies 2_?" Yugi asked hopefully. It really wasn't such a bad movie once you watched it… "And, er, I'm picking these movies out for _your _tastes, Kaiba-boy."

"N, o. And don't ever call me that again."

"_Dude, Where's My Car_? I've actually never seen that one, but it's one of those stupid funny movies like _Dumb and Dumberer_. If you've seen that, and liked it, maybe you'd like this one."

Kaiba looked at him as if he was out of his mind. "Dude, where's your taste?" he asked. "Ohhh, wait… _What _taste, right?" The brunette grinned wickedly at the shorter boy, who was muttering clandestine insults under his breath.

"_Without A Paddle_? Oh, sorry. I forgot. You like movies with substance, don't you?" Yugi smirked. "You could probably go into Blockbuster and find _nothing, _huh?"

"If you don't suggest a good movie right now, I just may smack you." Kaiba smirked. He still had the upper hand on the argument. See, it was all a game to Kaiba. And this particular mini-game, he happened to be winning famously.

Yugi crossed his arms and pouted. "But you don't even want to watch a movie anyway!" he protested. "Wait… hm. _X-men_?"

"Saw it five times."

"_X-men 2_?"

"Three."

"_National Lampoon's Animal House_?"

"I hate National Lampoon," Kaiba proclaimed, wrinkling his nose in disgust. This was offset by his large grin, however. Yugi sighed loudly. He knew that Kaiba was enjoying this, but he wasn't about to give up.

"_The Matrix_?"

"That's rated R, and remember, Mokuba's only eleven."

"_Scary Movie 3_? It's got Pamela Anderson and Jennifer Coolidge and Redman and Method Man and Master P and Macy Gray and…"

"If you were trying to memorize the entire cast, you were doing so rather badly. Jennifer Coolidge wasn't in that film. You're thinking of Jenny McCarthy. Jennifer Coolidge is in that up-and-coming movie, Robot. And what did I just say about R-rated films?"

"That's not rated R, Kaibakun… although now that I think about it, it is kind of borderline." Yugi scratched the back of his head. "Maybe I'm going about this all wrong," he decided. "Kaibakun, what kind of movie would you like to watch?"

"Hm… something with adventure, I guess." Kaiba smirked bemusedly. Yugi was actually trying to pick out a movie for him. If this kept up, the shorter boy would get frustrated and perhaps reveal his sexier self.

"Or adventure," Kaiba added adventitiously. He leaned by and adjusted his weight support, seeing as his legs were starting to fall asleep. Yugi hadn't offered him a chair this entire time, the little pipsqueak.

"Right…" Yugi thought about this. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought. And thought.

"_Spaceballs_?" he blurted. "_Spaceballs: The Movie_? That was pretty funny. With Pizza the Hut, and stuff. And there was a dog whose tail kept wagging in peoples' faces… Er…" Yugi's expression sunk into a pitiful, embarrassed visage, knowing that he had already dug that movie's grave. Kaiba immediately deigned this choice, as Yugi knew he would.

"That is so stupid."

Yugi sweat dropped. "Yeah actually it is… now why did I suggest that?"

Kaiba laughed loudly. "Because, Yugi! You are an inferior duelist!" Kaiba laughed, too. Yugi sweat dropped.

"What the heck… Well then… what about _Saving Private Ryan_?"

"Sir!" Mokuba looked up. "Yes sir!"

"No way," Kaiba declined. "I hate military movies with a passion."

"Well, that eliminates _Pearl Harbor_then." Yugi sadly set the VHS aside. "I don't suppose you, being this smart, geeky person, would actually enjoy _The Day After Tomorrow_?"

"That show got terrible reviews," Kaiba declared.

"No it didn't! Yahoo! users gave it a B."

Kaiba blinked. How Yugi knew that, he had no idea. Yugi didn't own a computer. Kaiba had also been mildly surprised when Yugi had informed him that not only did he own a TV, but his family was practically addicted to it. Kaiba had countered with something like, "Yeah, it's the most high-tech thing in the whole house." Man, he had been rude. The Motou's were not well-off. Their business was fading more and more everyday, as their regulars migrated over to the Black Crown. The Black Crown was a shop owned and managed by Yugi's classmate, Duke Devlin. That had not prevented their friendship, however. Nor had the dearth of paying customers stopped the Motou family from gathering a massive collection of virtually outdated VHS tapes. So therefore, Kaiba was still able to see Yugi as a fainéant, _lucky, _fool, who was not superior to him. Equal, yes, Kaiba had to admit. But not superior!

Unless you were talking about morals…

"_Taxi_?"

"That's so racist."

"What?" Yugi nearly bent his VHS. "Kaibakun, how on Earth – never mind, I won't ask."

Kaiba smirked. "I vacationed in Pluto!"

"I'm sure you did." Yugi turned his neck stiffly towards the younger brother. "Mokuba, when you're done building that… whoa…" Yugi looked on in hushed awe. Mokuba's Tinker Tower had been relocated near the stairs, and now a plethora of them reached the second floor ceiling. Yugi was wondering where he got all of the Tinker Toys. He certainly hadn't kept _that _many…

"What movie do you want to see?" he blurted. Mokuba stopped for a second and looked down at him, blinking cutely.

"Er… _Shall we Dance?_"

Yugi sighed loudly. "We don't have that movie."

"Aww…"

Poor Yugi. He was vexed. "What if we watched…"

"I doubt that whatever you are about to suggest will be entertaining," Seto said snootily. Mokuba ignored them both, playing with his Tinker Toys.

"Oh yeah?" Yugi challenged, "What about _Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl_? Huh? Huh? There is no way you can say that you don't like that movie!"

Kaiba shrugged. "Well, I've actually never seen it…"

"Yes!"

"…But I'm not really in the mood for a movie right now." Kaiba turned snootily back to his trench coat, returning to his endeavor of straightening the stiff fabric.

Yugi growled. "Then why don't we watch _Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous _on the television? Ooh, or _Desperate Housewives_. I bet you know a lot about what those women are going through, huh Kaiba? Ooh! Mokuba! Let's watch _Jerry Springer_!"

Mokuba dropped a Tinker Toy. It clattered loudly to the floor. "What's that?" the shaggy-haired boy inquired naïvely.

"Are you making fun of me?" Kaiba wondered. "Because I think it would be very interesting to watch someone of your intelligence, i.e., an idiot, even try."

Yugi glared at Kaiba, which didn't look very fierce because he was characteristically cute and small. Besides, for all the good it did, it was as if a hawk was glaring at its eggs and telling them to hatch. Kaiba glared at him even more ferociously, and Yugi actually slunk back into a corner in defeat. But the small, blonde duelist gave Kaiba the Evil Eye. The C.E.O. of KaibaCorp was wearing his prized smirk, his eyes twinkling with victory. Ra, he wanted to hurt him… It was a wonder that Kaiba's face wasn't permanently frozen into a smirk. He was supposed to respect Kaiba as a rival, and he did, but as a person Kaiba was just one of the snootiest, meanest people Yugi could think of. He wouldn't say Kaiba was _evil, _but he was just _inconsiderate. _(A.k.a., Kaiba was _mean._) Plus he was so darn conceited that Yugi couldn't stand it. For example, there was that one time when they were in America, and Kaiba was running off at the mouth about how it was all a very elaborate scheme to take over his company. Yami had wanted to call Kaiba an idiot, then. Not everything was about Kaiba's company, unless you were Kaiba. Yugi was willing to bet Mokuba would grow up with more dates than Seto Kaiba.

"You suck," he whispered. Kaiba didn't hear him – thankfully.


	7. a conversation between pharaoh and host

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are totally stuck at a totally straight Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad they're both in love with different sides of him! mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness and evil toasters This is… odd, to say the least.

By Sour Schuyler

* * *

Well as you can see, this chapter is in a very different format than all of the others. It is a talk between Yugi and Yami. Yami's parts are written like **_this_**, and Yugi's are simply **bolded**. Any other text with been in (parenthesis) and, for some reason, in the conditional tense. Meh. Stranger things have happened, I guess. So, that's about it. This chapter is slightly longer than most of the others, as well, reaching it's peak at around 1,000 words. Well, kudos a moi, I suppose. I hope you're enjoying this. Even more than that, I hope you're reviewing this. Hakudoshi-chan – Thanks. ttSerenity – You think Yugi's getting a little too mad? Alright, I'll keep that in mind. Yeah, that Mokuba not liking anime thing is ironic, now that I think about it. Phoenix of the Sea – Spaceballs was pretty good, I'll admit. The thing I remember most about it was the dog's tail wagging in everyone's face and the looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong introduction. Akio the Dragon Master – Yes. I should've had Mokuba say, "My precious!" And Yugi's height deficiency is a sad, sad thing, isn't it? Anyway! For anyone who likes this story, I'm begging you to read and review my two chapters of Ma Proie. I've been working on that story FOREVER, and I actually have it all the way finished (though not all the way posted). So please review that story! And, because I haven't said it in awhile, I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.

* * *

Chapter 7: a conversation between pharaoh and host

**I really wish that Kaibakun and Mokuba would just get out of here.**

**_Why is that?_**

**They're bugging me.**

**_Why is that?_**

**I assume it's because they don't like me.**

(Poor, naïve Yugi. If only he knew that the reason was that they liked him, perhaps even a little too much, maybe he could have reached his flare gun in time. But nooooo, now he's defenseless against two homosexuals. Oh, Wonder Bread, Joy of Joys!)

**_Why is that?_**

**They're the Kaibas. Well, I guess they were something else at one point, but now they are both Kaibas.**

**_Why is that?_**

**Well, I assume it's because when Gozaburo adopted them, they took on his last name.**

(Actually, there is a story that goes along with them actually attaining the last name Kaiba, but perhaps I will mention that some other time. Or better yet, you could put those fingers to use after reviewing this chapter and look it up! Woooooo crazy fingers:D)

**_Why is that?_**

**So it wouldn't look awkward on tax forms.**

**_Why is that?_**

**Social status, too, I suppose.**

**_Why is that?_**

(Now Yugi would be done playing games with the "shadow of his soul".)

**Yami?**

**_Yes aibou?_**

**Shut up. **

**_Yes aibou._**

**Thank you.**

(Yami, Yami, Yami. Yugi's under a lot of stress. Leave him alone! Gosh, you'd think Yami was one of those whiny tots in the back of the car, saying, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" and five minutes later, "I have to go to the bathroom," and then five minutes _later, _"mommy, I made a messy." Sheesh! This was the impression one would have gotten if one were to listen in to their discussions on a regular basis.)

**Do you think you could help me?**

**_Help you what, aibou?_**

**Help me get rid of the Kaiba brothers. They really are a pain in the butt, you know. I don't even know why they were over here in the first place.**

**_Why are you in such a hurry?_**

(Now would be the time for Yugi to wriggle uncomfortably.)

**I want to watch my video…**

(Now would be the time for Yami to wriggle uncomfortably. Then the former Pharaoh would tsk, sigh, and look bored while sitting in his soul room. After all, it is terribly boring sitting in a "room" of endless labyrinthine hallways, that doesn't even exist, per se.)

**_I see._**

**Stalker. **

**_Euh, nani?_**

**It was a joke, Yami, a joke.**

**_Oh. I see._**

**You do?**

**_Yes._**

**And what do you see, oh wise one?**

**_Very funny, Yugi._**

**Thank you.**

**_Har de har har… Hm. I see… you!_**

**Ahhhh-Stalker.**

**_Er, yeah… Whatever you say, aibou._**

**Thanks for being so understanding.**

(Yugi would now roll his eyes.)

**So do you think you can help me?**

**_And just how do you propose I do that, aibou? The snow is blocking the door, the windows, and the only place where the snow hasn't covered would be the skylight, which, as fate would have it, is a deadlight._**

**Yeah, that does stink, huh?**

**_I concur._**

**Yeah. Anyway, so, I guess they can't get out unless we get rid of the snow…**

**_The snow isn't going to go away anytime soon, aibou, unless a series of fierce siroccos swept over Domino._**

**Meh.**

**_Sorry. I know that stinks._**

**Yes, yes it does. Well, actually, I like the smell of snow.**

**_Snow doesn't have a smell._**

**Yes it does. It smells crisp. But maybe… Maybe you could get rid of the snow for us? **

(Yami would raise his eyebrow at the usage of "us". Since when is Yugi thinking for both of their interests? He just wants to watch his blue shows.)

**_Yugi, I don't understand what you are getting at._**

**I was wondering if you could send, uhh, all of the snow to the Shadow Realm.**

(In his soul room, Yami would raise a skeptical eyebrow.)

**_Uhh, excuse me?_**

**The snow. Could you get rid of it, do you know?**

**_All_****_ of the snow? Do you mean all the snow that is in your yard, therefore blocking the Kaibas' path to liberation? Because if that is the cause, aibou, I think it would look very odd if you were the only person in the entire city who's lawn was perfect snow-free._**

**Well, I could just say we had a snow blower. Besides, you wouldn't have to go whole hog. You would just be required to get rid of enough snow so that those two parasites could get out of my house.**

**_It's a shop._**

**Same thing.**

**_Not quite._**

**When you think about it, yes.**

**_Eh…_**

(Yugi's "voice" would rise about two octaves in order to be perceived as incredibly whiny and obnoxious. Note that it's his "voice" because technically he's not speaking out loud.)

**You don't believe me!**

**_Maybe not._**

**So can you? Puh-leeeese?**

**_Can I what?_**

**Get rid of the snow.**

**_But what about when people asked you how you got your door open? Hm? I know that your door swings outwards, so you couldn't just say that you got snow all over the store._**

(And this would be about the time where Yugi says an inappropriate comment…)

**_Aibou!_**

(…and Yami would cry in horror, shocked beyond believe. If Yami had been a corporeal spirit, he would have reached for a full bar of Dove soap. By the way, did you know that there is a Dove soap fan listing on the Internet? 'Tis true.)

**_Aibou, you shouldn't say those words!_**

**Everybody's doing it!**

**_Aibou, that's not funny._**

(Yugi, overcome with guilt, would gulp bashfully in compunction.)

**Sorry…**

**_That's alright aibou. I forgive you._**

(Yugi would snort.)

**Who are you, my mother?**

**_Aibou…_**

**I know, I know. I'm sorry.**

**_Thank you kindly aibou._**

**You're welcome, but… Yami?**

**_Yes aibou?_**

(Yugi would perk up a bit in order to effectively catch Yami's complete attention. Yami would have been staring at a speck on the wall before this.)

**Do you think you could send them to the Shadow Realm?**

(Yami would sigh "loudly". We say loudly with quotation marks encompassing it because in truth, the only person that would be able to hear such a sigh is little Yugi. Thus, it is loud only in Yugi's mind… Anyway, so, Yami would sigh loudly.)

**_Oh aibou…_**


	8. Yugi and the ensorcell plan

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are totally stuck at a totally straight Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad they're both in love with different sides of him! mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness and evil toasters This is… odd, to say the least.

By Sour Schuyler

Yes, this chapter is short as anything. No, I don't care. Shut up. It's supposed to be "dramatic". (Yeah, right. As if it's anything like that.) Akio the Dragon Master – Ashley V attacked you AGAIN? You gotta stop insulting Kaiba. Is vury a new word of yours? ;) Ooh, double updates in one day. I feel generous since I'm stuck here memorizing Shakespeare.

Chapter 8: Yugi and the ensorcell plan

Yugi was conjuring up a plan: to ensorcell madness into the hearts of the Kaiba brothers. He was going to make those two claw at the windows in an attempt to get out! And they would scream! Like girls!

He just didn't know how he was going to do it yet.

Yami also had noted that Kaiba and Mokuba were acting weird, and that perhaps they should try to take time to figure out what they were keeping locked away in the clandestine safes of their hearts.

/Wow Yami, that sounds deep./ Yugi's compliment brought a cheerful smile to the ancient ruler's face.

The plan was about to begin. Little did either of the two blonde champions know, that they were really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really going to regret ever wanting to pry into the hearts and minds of the sickening Kaiba brothers.


	9. Oops, I did it AGAIN?

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are totally stuck at a totally straight Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad they're both in love with different sides of him! mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness and evil toasters This is… odd, to say the least.

By Sour Schuyler

Sorry if these lyrics are bugging you, but this is the only thing I could think of to annoy the Kaiba Brothers for now. This chapter also has the first hints of who Yugi truly likes! Gaspingness! I also have a quote from Romeo & Juliet in this chapter. The lines are italicized, and are from, very specifically, Act II, Scene 55, Lines 16 and 17. Since I had to present my duet today, I figured I'd pay it one last tribute. This was one of my favorite lines of my segment. :D ttSerenity, I don't follow you. Are you saying that it was dramatic or that you would've liked for it to have been? I was aiming for it to be kind of dramatic… The chapter before that was supposed to be semi-light-hearted, but if I didn't quite accomplish that, do be a friend and tell it to me straight, wouldn't you? Phoenix of the Sea – Don't you wish he would:-D And now I will let it go and stop writing this, because I have to go and finish cleaning before Akio-chan and Ashley-chan come over. We are going to watch the second uncut Yu-Gi-Oh dvd! Woohoo!

Chapter 9: Oops, I did it… AGAIN?

Kaiba and Mokuba were pretty much stuck doing nothing. Kaiba had managed to fall (see note: took pills) into a sort of strange sleep, with his head tilted upward towards the ceiling. The ceiling was _not _impressed. His chest rose and fell in a typic pattern, and thusly he formed a sort of somnolent metronome. He was gurgling. _Loudly._ Mokuba, who was "used" to this, was still wincing, and sucking on his thumb. The dark-haired boy was lying on his side, using his fluffy hair as a pillow. Two lollipop sticks were stuck to the inside of his hair. Kaiba and Mokuba had found the jar of free lollies that Solomon Motou left on his counter. And, so…

What, do I have to spell it out for you? They ate some of them! For gosh sakes – when you find some lollipops on the counter, don't you say, "Free lollies!"? And is there a correct way to punctuate that last sentence?

"Can I have some?" Mokuba had asked. "Pweeeeeees?" He threw Yugi shoujo eyes. 'I wonder if Yugi thinks I'm as adorable as I know I am,' Mokuba thought to himself.

Yugi had shuddered. "Er… Sure," he said charily. "Help… help yourselves." Yugi had then fled upstairs to avoid watching Mokuba get sugar-high.

Neither of the poor, succulent suckers – or the Kaiba brothers who had licked and consumed their Sour Apple flavor an hour ago, expected what was to happen, to happen. It was just so… unexpected! There was no hunch, nor presentiment in their mind that this might happen! It had not announced itself! It struck them like lightning, and it shook them up like thunder! It… Ah, well, you get the point.

"**Dun, dun.**

**Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.**"

Mokuba's eyes enlarged to tenfold their original state, making them reaaaaaaaaally freaky lookin'.

"Dun, dun."

The shaggy-haired, silver-eyed, non-potty-trained youth leapt to his feet and bolted over to his elder brother, for two reasons. One, he felt that something strange was "goin' down". I mean, come on, Britney Spears? That's BS man. XD Two, he just didn't want to suffer alone and therefore wanted to drag his brother into the depths of pop artistic Heck along with him..

"**Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.**"

"SETO!" Mokuba shrieked, _right _in the C.E.O.'s ear. Kaiba jumped, disgruntled.

"Whut in a pansy's fricken luau do you want?" he asked in a gruff voice, sounding duly disoriented after being awakened from his pleasurable nap.

"The lyrics are coming! The lyrics are coming!_"_

Seto looked at Mokuba oddly, not quite sure what he was talking about. "I'm not quite sure what you are talking about," he said redundantly. The lean brunette sounded as if he was ready to faint dead away on his feet from fatigue.

_But old folks, many feign as they were dead:_

_Unweildy, slow, heavy, and pale as lead._

This is odd because the authoress had been under the impression that lead was that grayish color utilised by pencil points. But! If such poetic insults were true, Kaiba sounded as if he was about 205. Hmp! I wish he would tell _me _where the Fountain of Aging Voices is… And now, you too, can sound like you're a supercentarian who gives poisoned milk and cookies to his/her grandchildren! One can achieve the way Kaiba sounded by listening to their in-laws or older brother talk about their last vacation or video games. It's especially fun to hear in-laws talk about video games. That's bad! Listen to them talk about boring things! Just trust us! Eventually their monotonous speeches will be so somniferous that you can sound like Kaiba when you respond! Warning, no money back guarentee is offered because you're not paying me and I hate you.

Mokuba just slammed his own mouth shut, choosing to let his brother figure it out for himself. He _was _supposed to be a genius.

"**I think I did it again,**" the infamous woman sang awesomely. Kaiba's eyes widened just a little.

"Recognize this song, nii-sama?" Mokuba asked, raving just a bit with his hands.

"…"

"**I made you believe we're more than just friends**"

"Nope, I got nothin'," Kaiba said. Mokuba looked at him blankly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yup." Hearing his brother's response to his rejoinder, Mokuba wisely piped down. He doubted that his brother was telling the truth – in fact, he was sure that Seto had heard this song a million times before. Mokuba hummed it all the time, for gosh sakes. Mokuba wouldn't admit it forthrightly, but he loved the CD that this song was on. Didn't like this particular song, though. His song by Britney Spears that he especially liked was "Dear Diary". He knew all the lyrics by heart. He sung them when he was all alone in his room, unaware that Roland and some of the other higher-ups were laughing at him and monitering him through a clandestine camera. He probably had that tiny little booklet that came with the CD stashed somewhere in that cabinet underneath their television set that housed multitudes of those tiny little booklets that come with CDs. Unless it was a CD-R, in which case he wouldn't because he had broken the law and didn't deserve to know the holy, holy, holy lyrics.

"**Oh baby  
It might seem like a crush  
But it doesn't mean that I'm serious  
'Cause to lose all my senses  
That is just so typically me  
Oh baby, baby.**"

Mokuba stared at his brother nervously as the chorus began. Kaiba was by now wide awake, and wondering what the hell was going on. He hadn't heard this song since his last date with Pegasus. (Ooh-la-la!)

"**Oops!...I did it again  
I played with your heart, got lost in the game  
Oh baby, baby  
Oops!...You think I'm in love  
That I'm sent from above  
I'm not that innocent.**"

"**You see my problem is this  
I'm dreaming away  
Wishing that heroes, they truly exist**"

"WE EXIST!" screamed a voice from upstairs. Mokuba and Kaiba's eyes enlarged.

"**I cry, watching the days  
Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways  
But to lose all my senses  
That is just so typically me  
Baby, oh.**"

"It sounds like she has random spurts of times when she is unable to recall what she was doing. This could be amnesia, schizophrenia, Multiple Personality Disorder, or a startling combination of the three. Of course, mine is just a layman's diagnosis… or a layperson's, to be politcally correct. But who likes that?"

"She didn't mean it medically, Seto," Mokuba said dully.

"Oh."

"**Oops!...I did it again  
I played with your heart, got lost in the game  
Oh baby, baby  
Oops!...You think I'm in love  
That I'm sent from above  
I'm not that innocent.**"

"Kind of like how everybody discovered that Ryou wasn't that innocent when he cagily made you get hit with a large, metal toaster," Kaiba observed cheerfully. Much too cheerfully. Mokuba's silver orbs rolled back into his head at the sarcasm and nearly got stuck there.

"That was you, Seto," he reminded him.

"Oh. Yeah. I knew that. But Iiii… never said I was innocent!" Seto shot his brother a loopy grin. Mokuba let out a flustered sigh.

"**Dun, dun.  
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
Dun, dun.  
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.**"

Yugi appeared from upstairs as if he had just apparated. He beamed as the speaking portion started up.

'If this doesn't annoy those two anti-societal brothers and they aren't annoyed by this, then I'm afraid the bud of this bewitching rose is nipped,' thought Yugi.

/That's very pretty, aibou. It could be a poem./

'Thank you,' was Yugi's rejoinder after the Pharaoh lauded him. Yugi liked being praised by the Pharaoh, even if Atemu _did _prefer w. It made him still feel invariably needed and irreplacable, since he had lost his crush to the Pharaoh and most of his friends admired the Pharaoh more than they would ever admire Da Yugi.

/Maybe if you didn't put "da" in there…/

/Hush up./

" '**All aboard'  
'Britney, before you go, there's something I want you to have.'  
'Oh, it's beautiful, but wait a minute, isn't this...?'  
'Yeah, yes it is.'  
'But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end.'** "

"What the heck?" Mokuba cried aloud. Neither of the older boys seemed to notice – well, actually, they were just ignoring Mokuba 'cuz it was cool. Kaiba was too busy daydreaming about his ex-boyfriend, and Yugi was fixated on acting nonchalant.

" '**Well baby, I went down and got it for you'.  
'Oh, you shouldn't have.' **"

"Wow, how ungrateful," Mokuba muttered. "If _I _went down into the depths of the ocean to look for… something… I'd want a little bit of thanks. Huh, Yugi?"

"Yeah, she's a wench," Yugi said absentmindedly. In truth, he was trying to imagine him diving into the ocean to retrieve something for Tea. Of course, she would lose something stupid… like a mood ring, or a friendship bracelet, or Joey's essay on Lithuania, or something, but that wouldn't matter. What _would _matter is that he was afraid to swim.

"**Oops!...I did it again to your heart  
Got lost in this game, oh baby  
Oops!...You think that I'm sent from above  
I'm not that innocent!**"

The music stopped abruptly, like a power outage had occurred. Kaiba wiped a river of drool off of his lips and blinked a couple of times before he realized something with horror: he had drooled, and his rival Yugi had seen! Nooooooooooooooo he'd never live it down!

………Okay, he was over it. Plus, suddenly got this _incredibly _sexy image of Yami Yugi dancing around to that song in leather pants.

"Wow," Kaiba complimented without realizing it. He was then utterly aware that everyone was staring at him. "Er, what?"

"Wow, what, Kaibakun?" Yugi demanded, narrowing his eyes at him.

'Ah, poop monkeys,' Kaiba thought. He licked his dry lips, which trembled slightly with his quivering breath. Was it just him, or was it cold in here? And when had it gotten so dark?

"I…"

"Yes?" Yugi placed his hands on his hips. Mokuba stared. Yugi looked girly when he did that… Then again, with his long hair, Mokuba couldn't rightly complain. He could look pretty darned effeminate, too. But Yugi's hair was spiky, and so the placement of his body was the only thing labeling him as female. Thank goodness, because Yugi was just so much cuter as a guy. Mokuba couldn't stop staring at him. He nearly missed his older brother's proclamation.

Kaiba licked his suddenly dry lips, trying to figure out how to say this without offending Yugi. And then he realized… What the heck! This was Yugi! "I didn't know you were a gay freak."


	10. Er, yeah… sure I am!

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are totally stuck at a totally straight Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad they're both in love with different sides of him! mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness and evil toasters This is… odd, to say the least.

By Sour Schuyler

Mweehee! The plot thickens. To ttSerenity – Long long ago, there was a little girl named – well, if I told you, I'd have to kill you. Suffice it to say that she was the owner of a CD which at the time housed a very popular song called "Oops! I Did It Again". Also suffice it to say that she owns said CD, and has not had the good fortune to lose the little booklet that has all the lyrics in it. And that's how I know the lyrics to the song. :D

Chapter 10: Er, yeah… sure I am!

"I didn't know you were gay," Kaiba asseverated again, when Yugi chose to simply gawk at him.

"Eh… excuse me?" Yugi's hand, which had been firmly planted on his hip, fell lifelessly to his side. "Excuse me, Kaibakun, what did you say?"

"I said," Kaiba repeated, sounding a bit disgruntled because he had had to say it three times, "that I wasn't aware of your homosexuality."

"…I'm not… er…"

Yugi squeezed his eyes shut. What the heck was he supposed to do now?

/Go along with it/ the spirit suggested. /Perhaps this will annoy Kaiba./

'I hate you Yami.'

/I SAID GO ALONG WITH IT YOU UNGRATEFUL GEEK! OR ELSE I SHALL TELL ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS THE EXACT AGE YOU STOP WEARING PULL-UPS/

'Go ahead, Ryou still wears them, I think.'

/AIBOU/

'Ok, ok,' Yugi answered meekly. 'I'll be good. I'll listen! Now what do you wish me to do, O Great Master?'

/Aibou, you tell those two that you are a gay, RIGHT NOW! Or else I'll grind your bones to make my bread, if that's the story in it's correct diction./

'I didn't even know that you _knew _the word diction.'

/So/

Yugi sweat dropped. 'I don't.'

"Yugi." Kaiba waved his hand in front of the blonde boy's face. He was just standing there, frozen, as if in suspended animation or something. His eyes were fluttering like during REM sleep. What he was doing was talking to the Pharaoh, but Kaiba wasn't aware of this; or, if he was, he wasn't willing to admit it.

/It doesn't matter you nincompoop. Answer him! NOW! It'll help drive the Kaiba brothers away! And besides, it'll be a funny story to tell the other two spirits that live in the Millennium Ring and Millennium Rod./

'Marik and Bakura?'

/HISS/ Yugi got a sudden image of Yami holding up his arms to shield himself from a copious amount of horrendous sunlight. Yami clawed at the empty air. /SPEAK NOT THEIR NAMES/

Yugi face faulted. Kaiba and his brother blinked, as this was the first thing that Yugi had done in 1.04 minutes.

Kaiba offered his opinion in a quite voice: _"He probably went into shock."_

"_Maybe you're right," _Mokuba agreed in a whispery voice.

They sounded so far away to him; Yugi shook his head. He had forgotten all about the outside world. Atem hadn't appeared in a ectoplasmic form outside of his august and centennial (x50) pendant, so Yugi hadn't had to have looked around and face him. Instead, he had frozen up as rigidly as a person ensnared in a sudden ice cube. Ooh, those tricky, tricky ice cubes!

"I… um… didn't really want anybody to know about it…" Yugi said weakly, still uncomfortable with coming out of a closet he had never been in.

"And yet, you played Britney Spears throughout the house!" Mokuba pointed out mordantly. "Gee whiz, Yugi, you're a blinkin' genius! Your next-door neighbors probably even know that you're gay now!"

Yugi clenched his teeth together and bit back the urge to growl. "I must not kill the kid," he murmured. "Mokuba is an invaluable source of hot air to the society. Kaiba, too. So sending them to the Shadow Realm is out of the question."

/It never was a question, Yugi. Stay strong/

"Okay…" Yugi threw a glare Mokuba's way. "I live on my own block, you ignorant moron," he said. Kaiba hit him over the head and he passed out.

"Worthless urchin," the C.E.O. opined, trying to hide his inner sense of accomplishment and… progress.

Mokuba whimpered slightly and went over to pick up Yugi. He hoisted him over to the couch with great difficulty and laid him out. Yugi had insulted him, but Mokuba still had hope. Hope was what fed Mokuba, it was what kept him living.

Yugi sighed lightly in his disgruntled sleep. Mokuba smiled and searched around for a blanket. Finding one, he draped it over his crush before heading upstairs to the bathroom. Kaiba, who had witnessed the whole thing, frowned. It was very apparent that Mokuba had a crush on the younger Yugi. Well, now that Yugi had announced – or rather, confessed under duress – that he was gay, Mokuba would probably try even harder to attain his affections. That wouldn't work well. After all, Kaiba thought Yami was striking, so Mokuba couldn't have him. Brother or no brother, Seto Kaiba had never been very good at sharing.

An hour later Yugi woke up with one thought on his mind: _DESTROY KAIBA AND THEN WATCH THE VIDEO!_

Epilogue of Chapter:

Due to violent protests of non-violent mothers against violence and non-violence, this was later changed to _humiliate kaiba and then watch the G-rated video._


	11. Destroying Kaiba

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are totally stuck at a totally straight Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad they're both in love with different sides of him! mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness and evil toasters This is… odd, to say the least.

By Sour Schuyler

* * *

MUST DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY! Oh, by the way, Phoenix of the Sea—how did you feel when you discovered that diction is what a dictionary is made up of? It made me laugh when I read it. Glad I'm improving your vocabulary. ttSerenity, I not only own them, but I look for them, too, when they're lost, so I can listen to them specifically. It's a sad life.

* * *

Chapter 11: Destroying Kaiba

Kaiba walked into the kitchen. Many people agree that this is where he made his first mistake. Other people argue that it was when he decided to ask Yugi if he could have a snack. Others still argue that the first bad move he made that pertains to this particular event stems from the lack of breakfast he hadn't eaten all week. In any case, it was a bad, bad move.

Kaiba slipped on whipped cream and fell backwards, hitting his head rather severely against the polished wood floor.

"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" he howled. Yugi laughed. He glared at him. "Why you little imp!"

Yugi pouted (cutely). "I'm not little… I'm just vertically challenged! So sue---no, nevermind, that's not a good idea."

Kaiba glared. "You've got that right." He stood up. "Augh… This stuff is all over my trench coat…"

"What is, nii-sama?" said Yugi's perfervid admirer as he entered the room. Mokuba took one cursory look at his brother and broke down laughing. Kaiba glared.

"Mokuba, I contemn you to nunnery," he hissed.

". Nuns are strange," Yugi opined. Mokuba stuck his tounge out of his older brother. Kaiba lashed out at him, only to slip and fall on his knee. The low skirl that his throat emitted made him sound very undignified indeed.

Yugi smiled, watching Kaiba moan in pain. This was just the beginning. He felt a presence nagging at the back of his brain.

/Can I give you a suggestion/ the august, quondam Pharaoh inquired. Yugi nodded without saying anything. /I think you should play Gwen Stefani's 'Rich Girl' over and over and over until it gets annoying./

Yugi beamed. "That's a good idea!" he declared. Kaiba and Mokuba looked at him oddly, causing him to sweat drop. "Er, it's a good idea… the idea… I… got… all on my own."

/Liar./

"Oh shut up," Yugi quipped, "er… I mean I know that you were about to insult me………Kaibakun."

"Yeah," agreed Kaiba. Mokuba nodded.

"You're kind of weird," the younger brother said nasally. Yugi rolled his eyes.

"Oh, and you guys aren't. Hey, do you want to watch TV?"

Mokuba and Kaiba looked at each other. The shrugged.

"Sure," they said in unison. "Hey. Stop that! Hey! Stop copying me! You're the one whose copying me! No, you!"

Yugi sighed and held his head in the palm of his hand. This was going to be hard.


	12. A Plan and Mokuba's Tower

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a not-so-chipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a hetero Yugi, they're both in love with different sides of him! NOT A ROMANCE FIC AT ALL mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness

By Sour Schuyler

STOP THE PRESSES! AKIO'S GOTTA DO STUFF! O.O Lol. ttSerenity, I'm trying to make longer chapters, but since this story is saved on the downstairs computer and I frequent the upstairs one, it's hard to do with this story. I'll try tho. Peace out y'all! (blows kisses… mm, Hershey's!)

Thanks to Akio-chan for giving me the whole fork idea! Forks are cool! --but evil... . . 

Yugi still thought that this was going to be hard. Maybe even harder than having to teach Yami to use a computer without it exploding. (They still hadn't replaced the sixth one; good thing they had all that money from Duelist Kingdom left over to share with the Wheeler's!)

/Yaaa-miiii/ Yugi whined.

/What/

/I can't think of more ways to annoy Kaiba./

/That's kind of pathetic, Yugi./ Inside the ex-Pharaoh's soul room, he was standing in front of a mirror and brushing his hair. (How!) /There are plenty of ways to annoy Kaiba. Did you make funny faces at him/

/Yes/

/Tell knock-knock jokes/

/Yes/

/Did you stick his hand in warm water/

/...This isn't a sleepover, Yami, and that's sick…/

/Eh, whatever. So, I'm guessing you've already thrown paperwads at him./

/Er, of course./ In truth, Yugi hadn't done any of these things, but he wanted Yami to suggest something so deviant and cogent that Kaiba would try to dig his way out of Yugi's house with a spoon. He knew that this could be done; he just knew it.

/Poke him until he juggles limes/ Yami suggested.

/Kaiba doesn't juggle./

/He should. Why don't you throw limes at him and see if he at least tries to juggle them/

/And waste the limes/

/Good point, I guess… Have you hit on him/

/No, and I'm not going to/ ornery little Yugi replied.

Yami sighed quietly. /Well then, why don't you go and spend some time picking on Mokuba instead? You might learn something interesting about the Kaiba brothers that you can use to your advantage/

"That's it!" Yugi cried. "I just got a great idea! Thanks for the inspiration, Yami!"

/Eh…? What did I say/

"You'll see." Climbing to his feet, Yugi began to jog towards his kitchen.

Mokuba was placing yet another tinker-toy on the top of his tinker-eiffel-tower. It actually looked 'right purty. :) Mokuba smiled to himself.

"Mokuba!"

Mokuba looked down in surprise. "Yugi?"

"Mokuba? I thought you were in the kitchen, eating and stuff." Yugi smiled up at him. "I thought you would have eaten half my food by now!"

Mokuba, eager to have a conversation with his 'rock god,' went to make his way down the stairs. He slipped on a pat of butter. Flying backwards, he tumbled onto the sharp side of a fork. The vice-prez of KaibaCorp screamed.

"Mokuba!" Yugi ran up the stairs. "Are you okay! Is anything broken?"

Mokuba sat up, a few dark-colored bangs falling limply in front of his face. "Phew," he said. "Yeah, I'm okay—not damaged, just shocked. I am relatively unscathed!" Mokuba shot his friend a cheeky grin.

"Then why do you have a fork sticking into your back?" Yugi peered at it and Mokuba blushed. "You poked a big hole in the back of your shirt and the fork is tangled in it."

"I can buy a new one," Mokuba bragged.

"A new fork?"

"A new shirt, dingbat. Stop staring at my back!"

"Hey, you're the dingbat who sat on a fork!" Yugi teased.

"I didn't sit on it!" Mokuba countered crossly. "I fell on it!"

"Now that's just sad," Yugi tsked. He extended his hand to the younber boy. "How do you fall onto a fork?"

/They do it all the time in those carloons/ Yami mused.

/Yami, those are car**_toons, _**and those are pitchforks./

/Oh… but it has the word _fork _in it…/

Mokuba's cheeks burned. He took Yugi's hand and was pulled up. "Well, it was behind me, and I fell on it." Mokuba quickly corrected himself: "—It was behind me, and I fell _backwards._"

Mokuba wasn't sure what happened just after he said that. All he knew is, Yugi hugged him very, very close, and Seto was suddenly standing in the hallway gaping.


	13. And this is how Mama bear tears the cub’...

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a not-so-chipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a hetero Yugi, they're both in love with different sides of him! NOT A ROMANCE FIC AT ALL mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness

By Sour Schuyler

Koi-bara- I'm positively flattered. Thanks so much! dragonlady222- I'm glad you like it. Wish you would review the other chapters, though, so I could know which was your fave. But I'm not begging… no, not me… (whistles innocently) Akio the Dragon Master- Yay! You thought it was funny! (dances)

Chapter 13: And this is how Mama bear tears the cub's predators apart

Seto's azure eyes were angry oceans wide, his eyelids practically flung back behind his eyeballs. He stared with patent shock.

"What do you think you're doing to my little brother?" Kaiba demanded. Yugi casually let go of Mokuba, whose heart was still beating at a million miles a minute in his throat, and tilted his head towards Kaiba, as if considering him. To Kaiba's disgust, he winked at him. The gesture could've been considered flirtatious.

"I was… helping him up!" the blonde averred coolly, shoving both hands into his pockets. Kaiba stared at him like three purple hands had sprouted out of his neck.

"What?" Yugi barked. "You've never had somebody fall on you when you were helping them up?" He gave Kaiba a painfully disdainful look. "It's not like I like him or anything. Well, I mean, I like him, but in a friendly way, not a too friendly way."

Mokuba's heart sunk and, if anything, slowed down. So he didn't hug me, he thought dismally, I just fell onto him. I made that whole hug thing up in my head.

Hey, geez, I'm really clumsy. I fell on a fork _and _onto Yugi? Wow. That just makes me a klutz.

Mokuba wiped at his eyes with his sleeve. Oh man, he thought, I'm… I'm such a dip! Yugi will never like me! But I shouldn't cry like a girl…

"Wah!"

"Mokuba?" Kaiba asked. As Yugi made his way nonchalantly down the stairs, Kaiba crouched beside his little brother, who had unconsciously placed himself back onto the floor and was sitting Indian style.

"Yes, Seto?" Mokuba was trembling like Chihiro in the beginning of Spirited Away.

"What's wrong with you?"

"…Nothing…"

"Oh!" Seto beamed cheerfully. "Alright then! I'm going downstairs to see if Yugi has any more of those jelly donuts we were fed for dinner last night. Ta-ta!"

Seto jauntily made his way down the stairs. Mokuba sighed, when it hit him: Yugi had called him _Mokuba. _Not _Mokubakun, _just Mokuba. Yugi had used yobisute with him. Did that mean that he liked him, or that he felt particularly close to him?

"Maybe it is time that I tell Yugi my feelings," Mokuba decided, a little bit more courageous and determined thanks to recent events. "I mean, I could find a pen… a notebook… Yugi's sure to have some paper around here somewhere." Mokuba stood up and suddenly acted as if he was holding a light saber. "Use the Force, Mokie," he whispered to himself, and he stalked off in search of some stationary.

Meanwhile, Yugi, downstairs, was yawning. "It's getting late," he told Kaiba. Kaiba's head swiveled towards the alarm clock. The spring green numbers read 10:17. The windows were still covered by curtains of finite white, and it was the finite quality, the mortal quality, of snow that kept Kaiba sane in this household. That, and that he had begun to hatch an ingenious idea that was sure to get him closer to Yami.

"It's past your bedtime," he mused. Yugi chucked some leftover cake at him. Kaiba adroitly dodged it with the grace of a tap dancing Angelina Jolie. "Too slow," he taunted. Another flying piece of cake hit him in the face.

"Aha!" Yugi cheered victoriously. "Maybe it's _you _who are too slow, Kaibakun!"

"I thought we were going to watch TV… but then you locked yourself in the bathroom…" Kaiba glanced at Yugi suspiciously, and added accusingly, "for a suspicious amount of time…"

"Ew, Kaiba. There are children reading this fic."

"Sorry."

"You should be."

"Ah. ' Am. Really. I swear it." Kaiba's blue eyes were half-lidded by the sudden tedious nature of their conversation. "By the way," he pointed out, "we never got to watch TV."

"You still want to?" Yugi asked, his amethyst orbs going round in surprise.

Kaiba shifted uncomfortably, but smiled slyly. "Yeah," he said, baring his teeth just a little. "Yeah I do."

"Ok."

"But first, do you think that you can turn the heat up? This ramshackle shop of yours is heavily lacking in the 'heat' department."

"Even when you speak, it sounds like somebody writes your dialogue," Yugi noted cheerfully as he headed over to the thermostat. Kaiba crossed his arms and shivered a bit.

"Oh shut up! Who on Earth says, 'There are children reading this fic'?" Kaiba demanded. "Well? That's what I wanna know!"

Yugi rolled his eyes and stabbed at the HEAT button. "Is 72 degrees warm enough for you, master Kaibakun?" Yugi asked, rolling his eyes. Kaiba nodded. "Alright then. It's been left in the 60s all day."

"Is _that _why it's been so cold?" Kaiba demanded angrily.

"Yeah, well… I don't like feeling hot." Yugi shrugged. "My family's kind of arctic, heh."

"The 70s aren't exactly hot, Yugi," Kaiba observed.

Yugi looked doubtful for a second, for a reason Kaiba couldn't comprehend. "But you said you were okay with that…"

Kaiba's eyes bugged angrily. "I am," he averred, "but you're still an idiot."

Yugi face faulted. "Gee… thanks. I'm touched by your explication. I never thought you thought so highly of me…"

"Yeah," Kaiba snorted, "right."

"So, was Mokuba okay? He fell on a fork."

Kaiba tried to shove his laughter back down his throat. "He—He fell on a fork?" Kaiba snorted, his arrogant voice distorted by the chortles that were, despite his best efforts, as patent as a black stain on a white shirt. Yugi smiled grimly in spite of himself.

"Yeah," he chuckled, "a fork."

The two then burst out laughing at Mokuba's expense.


	14. In which Mokuba’s handwriting S U C K su...

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a not-so-chipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a hetero Yugi, they're both in love with different sides of him! NOT A ROMANCE FIC AT ALL mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness

By Sour Schuyler

When I was writing chapter 13 of this story, I went back and reread this entire fan fiction, in order to keep the writing style the same. I have a nasty habit of jumping a bit, it's kind of weird. So, I hope I haven't done anything to hinder this story's overall effect in the last two chapters. Also, I'm afraid that the chapters with the songs in them will have to either be taken down, or changed. If I change them, I will probably rewrite them the same way I rewrote chapter for of 9 Point 8 Newtons…

Oh, and dragonlady222—thank you so much for reviewing each chapter! Now I am so close, I can almost TASTE the 50-review line! (It tastes like orangeade.) Thank you so much. Did I mention I love you? No? Good, 'cuz I'm not like that.

Chapter 14: In which Mokuba's handwriting S U C K sucks

_Dear Yugi,_

"No," Mokuba decided, "maybe just 'Yugi'."

_Dear Yugi,_

"Oops, I didn't mean to write that again." Mokuba frantically erased the piece of college-rule paper.

_Wonderful Yugi,_

"No, that is _so _dorky. Hm…"

_Yugi,_

"Perfect!"

_Yugi,_

_I know that you're gay, because you said you are. You sure don't act like it most of the time, but I really hope you are, because evar since I started seventh grade I've had one of the biggest crushes on you. I probably hope_

"Oops." Mokuba had been blushing as he had been writing, and his thoughts had run together, causing _I hope you can like me back _and _I probably won't get loved in return, but hope you don't hate me for this _to run together. He sighed and erased, but the eraser smudged. "Kuso!" he shouted, his ears becoming quite red at the tips.

Looking around for more paper—he was in Yugi's mother's room—all that young Mokuba Kaiba could find was an old grocery list. Picking it up and turning it over on the back, Mokuba wrote in neat and tiny handwriting:

_Yugi,_

_I know that you're gay, because you said you are. You sure don't act like it most of the time, but I really hope you are, because evar since I started seventh grade I've had one of the biggest crushes on you. I probably get loved in return, but hope you don't hate me for liking you. After all, you are really cute, nice, and funny, plus you're a really good gamer and a wonderful friend. I hope that we can still be friends after this._

_Your crusher,_

"Bah!" Mokuba erased his outro, smudging it. "Gah!" With this change of consonants, Mokuba reached into his pocket and pulled out a white out pen. He proceeded to write the three characters of his name in white out over the dark smudge. It created quite an interesting effect.

"It's good to go," Mokuba decided. "But do I really want to spring this on Yugi tonight? Maybe I should wait until the morning."

Yawning, Mokuba placed the note in his pocket, and headed over to the living room. He opened the closet and seized the futon, aware of Kaiba and Yugi laughing hysterically over something in the living room. A tear slid down his cheek.

"What if Yugi likes Kaiba more than me…" Mokuba's frown was wistful, and he laid down the futon, and then laid down _on _the futon.

Little did he know that tonight was going to be interesting indeed.


	15. Kaiba's Stupid Plot

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a not-so-chipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a hetero Yugi, they're both in love with different sides of him! NOT A ROMANCE FIC AT ALL mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness

By Sour Schuyler

dragonlady222- No problem. Have fun working tonight… not. (I would LOVE to work midnights. I stay up late a lot and so I live off of less sleep than the rest of my family anyway. In fact, I didn't get any sleep at all last night. I wasted my entire night playing Resident Evil 4)

Chapter 15: Kaiba's Stupid Plot

"Isn't it kind of warm for your school uniform?" Kaiba asked Yugi. "I mean, if you really do love the cold all that much."

Kaiba and Yugi were in the living room. Mokuba was sleeping in the store area, snoring on his futon. Yugi had taken out _Read or Die _without asking Kaiba if he wanted to watch it. The elder Kaiba, Yugi decided, didn't have a choice. His house, his movies, his Corn Pops. Of course, he couldn't watch the movie he really wanted to watch… or could he? Yugi wondered. Mokuba was asleep… and Kaiba _was _a normal male, right? So he watched that kind of stuff, right?

"Um, yeah, actually, it kind of is." Yugi took off his jacket. "Better. Thanks Kaibakun."

"Don't mention it, you little weirdo," Kaiba replied drily. He glommed Yugi, who was wearing his uniform pants and a white shirt underneath it, tucked it. He growled in spite of himself.

"Kaibakun?" Yugi looked at him oddly. "Uh, do you want popcorn?"

"Uh… sure." Yugi was blushing, Kaiba realized, and wondered why. Oh please, he begged, please don't let the friggin' munchkin have a crush on me.

Yugi was actually just blushing because he was embarrassed by the fact he had to be polite to Kaiba, his guest, and had to offer him popcorn. In fact, most people would've asked for popcorn. Heck, Tea had been over so many times, by now, that she practically dove for the cabinet where the bags full of unpopped kernels were kept as soon as Yugi popped in a movie. Joey would try to be polite, but really had trouble restraining his hunger pangs. He would basically ask Yugi if they were going to eat anything once every five seconds until Yugi would have to say, "Hold _on, _Joey. I'll get it in just a… minute… Tristan, are you putting the video in the VCR the wrong way?"

"Oops; yeah."

"Let _me _do it," Tea would say. "Yugi… go get popcorn, or I will!"

"Alright, alright… sheesh." And so the masses were generally fed. But Kaiba wasn't like the masses, Yugi observed. In fact, Yugi didn't even remember ever seeing Kaiba eat… ever.

Yugi's eyes got very large for a second. Maybe he's a monster! he thought to himself in a mock-astonished voice. Then he laughed inwardly, stood up and made his way over towards the kitchen. Meanwhile, Kaiba followed him. While Yugi got out the popcorn and got out some bowls to hold the stuff in, Kaiba surreptitiously stabbed at the thermostat, augmenting the temperature to eighty-one degrees.

After the popcorn was finished, Kaiba and Yugi settled back to watch _Read or Die. _The movie was actually quite good. When Yomiko was starting to act crazy in the Congressional Library, Kaiba excused himself to go to the bathroom. Yugi paused the movie and waited for him politely. After using the bathroom, Kaiba snuck into the kitchen and turned the temperature up four more degrees. Then he made his way back into the room where he and Yugi were watching TV. Yugi smiled at him as he returned, his innocent purple eyes having the TV screen's picture thrown against them. Kaiba sat down next to Yugi, and the shorter teen pressed PLAY on the VCR.

A little bit later, Yugi complained that he was too warm, and went upstairs to change. Kaiba stared at the image on the television screen, which showed Genje looking really bad-awesome-cool. Yes, so bad and awesome and cool that even Kaiba had to string them all together to form a properly reverent adjective.

Yugi came back down a bit later, in looser, baggier pants and a…

"Is that a spaghetti strap shirt?" Kaiba asked, trying not to drool. As soon as this movie was over, he could see Yami in that. _Yami _in _that! Yami _in a _spaghetti strap! _

…Even _Joey _would have to admit, that was drool-worthy. And Joey was 100 straight. So, that _says _something.

Yugi just shrugged. "It was Malik's. He left it over at my house before he went home to Egypt."

/More like you stole it./

"You know I didn't… stupid Pharaoh." Yugi shook his head and sat down. Kaiba was staring at him. Yugi looked good, even if he was technically half-cross-dressing. Still, Kaiba was excited because he knew that whatever Yugi looked good in, Yami always looked ten times better in the same outfit.

He would just have to be patient until he could launch the second part of his plan.


	16. Kaiba’s Stupid Move

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a not-so-chipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a hetero Yugi, they're both in love with different sides of him! NOT A ROMANCE FIC AT ALL mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness

By Sour Schuyler

* * *

dragonlady222… How. How how how how how how how how _how _are you watching it? By the way, I am now very very jealous of you. (pouts)

The reason I am updating a lot today is because tomorrow I leave for a three-week camp. During camp I probably won't update at all... So, yeah. I'm getting all of my updating/video game playing done now. I hope to see lots of reviews when I next check my e-mail. Either that, or a spam message that I can actually opt out of. Stupid Yahoo. I've already used up all of my blocks... Grrrr.

* * *

Chapter 16: Kaiba's Stupid Move

As soon as the movie ended, Kaiba sprung into action.

"Where did you get those springy shoes?" Yugi asked. "And why did you jump right into a pillow labeled 'ACTION'?"

"I felt like it," Kaiba said. His voice was muffled by the huge pillow. "Anyway, Alice…"

"Herbert."

"…Herbert, I challenge you to a duel."

Yugi's eyes sparkled. Duel Monsters was, after all, his favorite game. It consumed his life, his soul, and all of his friends had to like it or else they weren't cool.

"I accept your challenge," Yugi said kindly. Inside his mind, the former Pharaoh put his limbo game with the Dark Magician Girl and the Dark Magician on hold.

/Woo-hoo! I get to duel again/

"…but can we wait until the morning?"

/Eh, never mind. It's time to LIMBO/

Kaiba shifted uncomfortably, and his azure orbs trained themselves on a shadow on the far wall. He avoided Yugi's gaze at all costs, be that cost five dollars or five acorns.

"Well, Mokuba will be up tomorrow, and he might interrupt the duel."

"He didn't interrupt the last one."

"Still."

Yugi smiled, and blinked a couple of times to try to keep awake. "Ok. In that case, let's duel!"

Yugi went upstairs to retrieve his deck, and came down as Yami. Kaiba smiled and let his eyes wander over Yami's upper torso, since he was wearing a black, velour, spaghetti strap shirt.

"What are you staring at, Kaiba?" Yami demanded. "Are we going to duel?"

"Of course." Kaiba smirked. "Where do you want to do—I mean, duel?"

The quondam Pharaoh gave his quondam high priest a once over. "…Are you feeling alright?" he asked. The brunette nodded with alacrity. "Okay then. Let's duel on the coffee table."

"Right."

The two duelists sat on their knees, set up the "arena", and drew their cards. Yami looked at his. He had the Dark Magician, Kuriboh, Multiply, Monster Reborn, and some others. Already he and Yugi were plotting to combine Kuriboh and Multiply, so that they would be able to create the unbreakable defense.

/That way, Kaiba won't be able to attack us directly/ Yugi reasoned. Yami nodded.

"Yes," he murmured. "Perfect."

"Will you stop talking to yourself?" Kaiba snapped. He then seemed to consider something. He was sort of having a sort of flashback. Him… and Pegasus… and Bandit Keith, at a sleepover, and playing dress-up… what was it that Pegasus had been wearing? Besides those yellow rubber-ducky pajama pants… Mm, such soft pants! Kaiba had wished he'd had a pair.

"You know," Kaiba offered, "Pegasus once wore something quite like that shirt."

Yami shuddered in light of Kaiba's cogent announcement. "I'm burning this shirt," he declared, "and forbidding my other half from wearing this type of shirt ever again."

/I don't really care… like I said, Malik left it over here./

A few turns later into the game, and Yami and Yugi had already set up their Kuriboh-Multiply combo. Although they weren't playing with a holographic projection system, both duelists could close their eyes and imagine the swarms of Kuribohs bouncing around, making their cute, incoherent noises, and contracting fleas from one another.

"I play the Blue Eyes White Dragon," Kaiba announced, "but I won't attack your Kuribohs."

"A wise choice, Kaiba."

"Even an old dog can learn new tricks. I remember what happened at Pegasus's Castle. Hey, why was Malik staying at your house, anyway?"

"Eh?" Yami closed his eyes, trying to remember, but for the life of him couldn't. /Um, aibou…/

/We were having a party to celebrate the end of Battle City. For the guys, it was a sleepover./

/Ok…/

"Yugi was dating Malik. But Malik left his tank-top here, so I guess Yugi doesn't feel too guilty about sharing clothes with somebody who left him."

/WHAT DID YOU JUST TELL HIM/

Yami smirked in spite of his aibou's outraged cries. "Yes, that's what happened."

Kaiba gaped at him, his mouth the shape of a large cheerio. "Oh," he said, his left eye twitching a little. "Just… Oh. Okay then. It's your move."


	17. Dun dun dun

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a not-so-chipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a hetero Yugi, they're both in love with different sides of him! NOT A ROMANCE FIC AT ALL mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness

By Sour Schuyler

Camp was fun, but now I'm BACK! WOOHOO! dragonlady222- S'okay. One of my new campfriends, Claire, is going to Japan this August. If I send her money she'll buy whatever I tell her to. . Mwa ha! Akio the Dragon Master- Will all of the laughing you have been doing in your reviews, I'm starting to worry about you… o.o; What are you _on, _Akio-chan! Phoenix of the Sea- Hi! That's okay. You're getting no alerts, I'm getting too many… Gah. I should take people off of my Author Alert.

Chapter 17: In which Yami explains to a twitching Yugi

It was later that night. Yami had, of course, won the duel, and after Kaiba had finished cussing (shame on him!), the two of them had gone to bed, Yami turning back to Yugi and reposing in his bed, and Kaiba once again taking the floor. He could have reclined on the couch, of course, but the truth of the matter was that the couch was harder and stiffer than the floor. Kaiba preferred the polished wooden floor; it was like a down blanket in comparison.

The sound of thunder muffled by piles of piles of snow woke poor Mokuba Kaiba up. The dark-haired preteen groaned when he awoke, unhappy that he had been thrust out of the arms of Morpheus. "I was just about to eat that pie…"

Now, first a not-so-peculiar habit of Mokuba Kaiba's must be explained, so as to let you know that he is not in anyway crazy or weird. Mokuba was afraid of thunder, and whenever thunderstorms had occurred in the past, he would always go and sleep in his elder brother's bed.

This was a practiced reflex, and involved going up a set of stairs and making a left. Mokuba could do it in his sleep.

…In fact, he _did. _


	18. Foolproof is just a word

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a not-so-chipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a hetero Yugi, they're both in love with different sides of him! NOT A ROMANCE FIC AT ALL mokubayugi, kaibayami,both one-sided. mentions of yugiteayami and Yugi-OOCness

By Sour Schuyler

My dad went to Thailand. He was also in Japan for a few hours. So now I have a Japanese t-shirt, several Japanese manga, and a Japanese book. I also have pictures of monkeys in dresses and elephants getting ready to roll over on their heads. You've gotta love Thailand. :) Not as much as Japan, but still… I mean, when they've got elephants in the streets, that's just PRETTY DARN COOL. :) But oi! I'm not sure when I will update again, as Hurricane Rita is scheduled to knock out all of our power. ( So everybody who's getting hit by it, stay safe! (Or I'll kill you!)

Chapter 18: Foolproof is just a word

_Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep!_

"Who borrowed my gopher-chucks…?" Yugi mumbled: a pre-battle war cry this was, however inappropriate or seemingly random. The blonde defender blinked wearily, instantly sitting up to do battle with his latest foe. This time, it was not a duelist he was facing, nor a rabid admirer like Rebecca. This enemy was more deadly than anything Yugi had ever faced, and it was a tenacious enemy, coming back every morning with its tempest most foul.

It was the alarm.

Reaching over climactically, Yugi crushed the SNOOZE button with his heroic index finger. "Who set this so early?" he pouted, cross at being woken at an ungodly hour.

/He he he./

"You're more trouble than you're worth, you know," Yugi hissed. He then noticed a lump under his blanket. "Huh? What's that?"

/Are you talking to me, or to yourself/

"You really are too much, you know?" Yugi reached out and carefully peeled the blankets away from the small form.

"It's… Mokuba?"

Insert soft little brother snores. (You know the kind.)

"It's… Mokuba?" Yugi repeated, looking very confused.

/Yes, aibou, you said that./

"It's… Mokuba?"

/Aibou/

"But what is Mokuba doing in my—_perfect."_

/Perfect/

To the Pharaoh's great surprise, a wicked smile played over Yugi's features. "Oh, this is _perfect," _the blonde cackled, pushing back one of his bangs. This, however, made his hair asymmetrical in an uncute way, so he tugged the bang back into its place before resuming his evil snicker.

/It is/ Yami asked, somewhat confused.

"Absolutely!" Yugi laughed quietly. The Pharaoh quickly formed an ectoplasm, or a ghostly shade of himself, casting it above his lighter half and giving Yugi a disquieted, even disturbed look. Yugi explained slowly, "Remember how Kaibakun got defensive of Mokuba when I 'hugged' him?"

/Yes…/ Yami's eyes widened a bit, as he slowly caught on to Yugi's plan. /Oh! Aibou! Don't! That's gross/

Yugi squinted at his other half. "…What are you thinking?" he demanded.

Yami sweat dropped. /Er, nothiiiing…/

"Riiiiiiight… Anyway, this plan is actually foolproof."

/No plan is ever foolproof./

"I know, but I felt cool saying it, so I went ahead and said it," Yugi said.

/Alright then… I hope that Kaiba doesn't get too mad at what you're about to do./

"With a little luck, he'll get so mad he'll juggle limes," Yugi noted cheerfully, gently pulling Mokuba closer to him.

/Hey, you better hurry up. I think Kaiba's up and looking for Mokuba./

"What gave you that idea?" Yugi asked, speaking now in a hushed whisper as he turned the younger Kaiba into his new teddy bear.

"Mokuba!"

/That's why/ the Pharaoh explicated.

"Oh. I see. Well, I was sleeping…" Yugi pulled the blankets over himself and shut his eyes. The Pharaoh was immediately disturbed by how peaceful his younger half looked, even while dark things were stirring in his brain.

/…Is he plotting things all the time/ he wondered, but his attention was drawn to the door as it slid slowly open, revealing Kaiba's face thrown in shadow.

Now, Kaiba's hauteur wouldn't allow him to be sensitive to Yugi's sleep. So, assuming that Yugi was, in fact, fully awake, Kaiba spoke in a normal, room-level tone, as he flicked on the light switch. It was something like this:

"Yugi, have you seen Mokuba? He's—AAAAHHHHHH OH MY GOD It's Mokuba."

He was nominated for an Emmy due to his performance. So, however, was Yugi, who made it a point not to sit up until he felt Mokuba sit up… which the younger boy didn't, not until Kaiba decided to yell a second time, this time shouting, "Mokuba, what are you DOING?"

/Who writes his dialogue/ Yami mused. /He's very good. Very creative and original./

Yugi smirked slightly in his sleep, something he hadn't meant to do, but something that made Kaiba pale anyway.

"MOKUBA! GET UP **_NOW!"_**

At this order the younger boy stirred. "Nii-sama?" he said, sitting up sleepily and rubbing his eyes. "What are you—"

"No, what are _you _doing?" Kaiba panicked.

"Mmm?" Yugi turned his head to one side and blinked wearily. Yami cheered his aibou's performance on from the sidelines.

Yugi almost immediately wanted to close his eyes after opening them. The tall teen was radiating the pissy, dangerously murderous glare that one might have received from a crabby cat when you were trying to shove a pill down its throat. (I should know; we now have to give my cat a pill once a day. Needless to say, my palm now has "battle scars".)

"Kaibakun! What are you doing in my room!" Yugi sat up, flustered. He didn't have to act this part out, either; the fact that Kaiba would just barge in upset him. What if he had been watching a movie?

"Mokuba! What are you doing in his room!" Kaiba demanded.

"Hey!" Yugi shouted. "You're ignoring me!"

Mokuba, having no idea what was going on, turned to Yugi… and blushed. Yugi had his arms slung around Mokuba's waist, and, Mokuba couldn't help but notice, they were _very _close. Yugi was hugging him closer than a friend would, almost as if Mokuba was his… b-boy…friend…

And so the eleven-year-old was blushing like a… um… okay, I don't have a descriptive noun here, but just imagine whatever you want. Um, wait… a tomato! Ah, yes, that's what I should have said. Please envision Mokuba as a tiny, plump vegetable, please! (Somehow, that seems strange…)

"Yugi?" Mokuba said, reaching out and touching Yugi's head. The Pharaoh noticed Yugi's eyes cross as he tried to follow Mokuba's hand.

"Stop touching my hair," Yugi said. Mokuba took his hand away shyly, his expression timid and apologetic.

"STOP IGNORING ME!" Kaiba screamed.

And thus, the Pharaoh noted, delicious chaos was formed. With whipped cream. And cherries. And chocolate sprinkles! _Mm… ice cream:D_


	19. After the Dun Dun Dun

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a notsochipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! NO ROMANCE mokubayugi, kaibayami, both onesided. mentions of yugiteayami and past pegasuskaiba

By Sour Schuyler

* * *

Gomen nasai mina-san! This should have been up earlier, but my electricity went out for three days… _after _the hurricane. . Stupid, stupid, stupid! You know, I wonder if anybody "gets" the title of this story… it's 'Sno Luck. Like, "It's no luck"? Get it? And it's a play off of snow? Ha ha ha, I'm so clever. (/sarcasm) Ooh, and SLIGHTLY new summary. (takes out charts and pointer, tosses on thick glasses with false nose) As you can see, I pointed out the pegasuskaiba. I think I'm going to use that a bit more than I was planning to originally. It's gunna be gooood…

* * *

The moment he had discovered his brother in Yugi's room, Kaiba's patience had disintegrated like a cheap firecracker. Therefore, Yugi wasn't graced with any stall time because it was too late to "wear thin" Kaiba's patience… It was already regrettably thin. It was thinner than Kate Moss in an episode of Family Guy. It was finer than the whisker of a kitten. His Keeping-Cool meter had sprung a leak. It… well, you've already gotten the point, haven't you? 

Anyway, so Kaiba stormed over towards the edge of the bed to, Yugi thought, pick up the younger sibling and carry him, probably bridal-style, down the stairs. During this ordeal, Yugi imagined, Kaiba would yell obscenities and threats the whole way. But, no. Kaiba instead grabbed _him _by the neck, hoisted _him _into the air. It was then that Yugi began to feel furiously indignant. He had put up with Kaiba for two days, and now Kaiba had the nerve to menace _him? _

Well, he was wrong! _Nothing _Kaiba could say would get him out of this house fast enough… It wasn't exactly what Yugi had hoped for, and he was darned if he was going to put up with it. However, the fact that Kaiba towered a foot and an inch over the 5'0" duelist could be taken into consideration, with the added bonus that Yugi had _seen _Kaiba _throw _Joey six feet before, freaked Yugi out noticeably.

"Put me **_DOWN!_**" Yugi shrieked. Kaiba released his hold on Yugi's neck, more out of shock than volition. Even before Yugi hit the floor he had transformed into Yami.

Mokuba looked deplorably around him. "Seto…?"

"_KAIBA!" _Yami cried angrily. "Just what in Ra's name do you think you're doing? Where are your manners! This is Yugi's house, he's let you watch his movies and given you food and dueled you _twice _and he's made sure you've had plenty of pillows when you slept on the floor!"

/Yea! Now I only have one pillow/

"So who gave you permission to hurt him!" Yami demanded angrily. He balled his hands into tight fists.

/Yami, you're not going to hit him, are you/ Yugi asked worriedly.

'If I have to, Yugi… what he did was unforgivable!'

/Oh. . .; Suddenly, I want popcorn/

"Answer me, Kaiba!" Yami commanded, now sweat dropping due to his aibou's comment.

Kaiba stuck his nose in the air. "No, _you _answer _me. _Who gave _Yugi _permission to cuddle _my _little brother! And just what was Mokuba doing in here, anyway!"

Yami grit his teeth hard. "No idea. You'll have to ask him."

"Seto…" Both duelists turned to their younger companion. "Seto, I was sleep-walking…"

/Yami, let me take over! For goodness sakes, you're going to attack him/

"You _peculated _his pillows," Yami accused. Seto rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Be serious. Does he really need his pillows that much? I haven't even really looked at them… are they shaped like Beanie Babies or something? Is that why he's so cranky? Does he need his pillows?"

"Where is this conversation _going_?" bemoaned Mokuba. "We are _not _talking about Beanie Babies. Please."

/Yami! Seriously! You're not going to strike him, are you? 'Cause he'd--/

'Only if I _need _to, aibou. …And I mean, he _is _asking for it…'

/But Yami, you have my body. _Mine, _Yami. Think about this. Is hitting Seto really going to work/

'Are you degrading yourself?' Yami demanded.

/No, I'm saying you're stupid! And I'm… well, I'm short./ Yugi's mental voice sounded sad as he explained this.

'Oh. Well…. yeah, you are short.'

/Hey/

'What? You brought it up!'

As Yami and Yugi argued back and forth, Kaiba told his younger brother, "Mokuba, that still doesn't explain why Yugi was using you as his teddy bear." Just as he had said this, Yugi happened to win the internal struggle between his other half and him. Swiftly seizing control of his own body, he turned to Kaiba with large, innocent-looking eyes.

/Now I know never to believe the eyes. Yugi's an actor, that he is./

'Shut up,' Yugi snapped, just as he started to… gasp… _lie._

"Kaibakun," Yugi began woefully, "I used to have a teddy bear… until… until, uhm…"

/Malik stole it./

"Until Malik stole it," Yugi repeated, before slapping himself in the face. "D'oh!"

/Ha ha ha! I got you to saaay it/ Yami chanted joyously, completely unlike the angry spirit that had been in charge a few minutes ago.

"…Why 'd'oh'?" Kaiba asked skeptically, crossing his arms. Mokuba had wisely untangled himself out of Yugi's sheets and was now standing behind his big brother, staring at Yugi with the widest eyes imaginable. He hadn't heard Yami's make-believe story of Yugi and Malik's past relationship earlier, so this was a fresh shock.

"See, well…" Yugi smiled sadly. "I try not to think about Malik too much, because it hurts."

"Ohhhhhh…" Kaiba instantly thought of Pegasus. A pang of emotion hit his heart dead-on. "I understand. Ok, so… it was all just a big misunderstanding."

Mokuba looked at his brother as if he was cRaZy. Which, at this point, it seemed like he was. Was he actually going to let Yugi off the hook? That was so unlike his brother… 'Clemency' was not an attribution usually ascribed to the name 'Kaiba.'

"But you're not off the hook yet, Yugi," Kaiba forewarned with a growl. Mokuba shook his head, thinking that this was more like the big brother he knew; people didn't change in an instant, not even in a few days. "First you have to apologize to Mokuba, and then to me."

Yugi sighed like a small child told to apologize—which he really wasn't all that far away from being. :) He looked at Mokuba. "I'm… sorry, Mokuba," he said, smiling oddly. Mokuba blushed. Luckily, Kaiba was too busy staring out of Yugi's window to notice. The white out taunted him like a length of yarn held just out of a cat's reach.

"And I'm sorry too, Kaibakun…"

"Good," Kaiba said. In spite of his anger, he felt that fatigue predominated discrepancy. "Come on, Mokuba. Let's go downstairs and get some sleep."

"I'm sorry again nii-sama," Mokuba started to say as he edged towards the door. However, he still regarded Yugi out of the corner of his eye and Yugi noticed this and gulped, a sickening knot forming in the pit of his stomach. He didn't have time to think about it much, however, as he was thrust out of control of his own body.

"KAIBA!" Yami shouted. "You still haven't apologized to Yugi for picking him up roughly like that!"

"Huh?" Kaiba turned around. "Well, fine. Normally I wouldn't apologize, but since it's late and I'm tired I will do so. Show me potato salad!"

"…" Yami gave Kaiba a moody and questioning stare.

"I meant Yugi," Kaiba corrected himself.

Realizing that Seto meant to apologize directly to his partner, Yami surrendered control to Yugi. Almost immediately, Yugi's violet and expectant orbs swept up towards Kaiba.

Kaiba had never displayed a proclivity for apologizing, and he was doing so now only with the tacit understanding that it was only to expedite his journey to the futon (or, more explicitly in his case, the haven of the pillows on the hard floor). Instead of opting to take the vitriolic route through this whole "I'm sorry" thing, he lost his sangfroid almost completely and gave tenuous, noncommittal murmurs in lieu of a coherent sentence.

"S'ry, Yugi," Kaiba mumbled, before pulling Mokuba out of the room.

/That was unintelligible/ Yami decried. /Foul/

'Aw, but he almost did it, though. Anyway, I'm tired,' Yugi pointed out, getting back into his bed and snuggling under the covers, 'and we'll make him pay for it in the morning.'

/That's dangerous thinking aibou./

'Don't you love it?'

:D Yeah/


	20. The Prerogatives of Dreamers

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a notsochipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! NO ROMANCE mokubayugi, kaibayami, both onesided. mentions of yugiteayami and past pegasuskaiba

By Sour Schuyler

* * *

Ok, I just NEEDED to give special shout-outs to the following people: Dark Rabbit, for reading this story for a reason you'll find out next, and also to dragonlady222, who pointed out that I UPDATED THE WRONG CHAPTER! slams head against wall How embarrassing. I haven't done that in awhile, huh... Anyway, so I guess she got a preview of Chapter 19 of 'Sno Luck. :P Good for you then, I guess? I'm sorry I can't respond to everybody, but rumor has it that review responses aren't allowed anymore. 

BTW, I did some serious editing to chapter 19, and I added some things to chapter 15… Just some funny things, you don't have to go back and reread them, they're not that important. I've just been trying to fix some mistakes I see here and there. If you see a typo or whatever, TELL ME! For kami's sake, it isn't liek I wud be offfendeded. I WANT you to tell me! Just ask Akio-chan… I practically beg her to tell me how to improve my chapters. o.o Really.

Okay, so now the real note. Originally, this chapter wasn't here, but I bumped the other chapters back one to make room for this. The Inspiration Credit goes to _Dark Rabbit. _Their story, "Does This Outfit Make Me Look Evil?" inspired me to put a little more Pegasus into this story. Sorry it took so long to get up, but it's here now. So, here I go!

* * *

Chapter 20: The Prerogatives of Dreamers

_Kaiba stared at the slippers. They were velvet, or maybe velour—but probably velvet, owing to Pegasus' expensive tastes. But they had ears, of that he was sure; four ears in total. Long, sleek, white, fluffy, poofy, goofy ears. Yes, they were definitely Pegasus's bunny slippers._

_Kaiba reached out tentatively—feeling silly of course—to touch them. They felt soft, like the fuzz on the nape of a kitten's neck. They also seemed to twitch underneath his grip as well—_

_Oh—shimatta._

_Kaiba looked up, at the leg that was _attached_to the slipper. "Taihen…"_

Kaiba fell off of the futon onto the floor. Perhaps this did more good than bad, because besides the repercussion of rousing the tall teen,he hit his head rather hard. Groaning, he sat with his legs folded beneath him and clutched his head with both hands. Mokuba stirred lightly. "Owwwwww…."

A loud tinkering noise came from behind him. Kaiba turned and stared straight at Yugi's brick-red chimney. It was, of course, brick red because… it was made of bricks. We're not going to try to transcend that explanation. It's pretty solid.

A foot stuck out of the chimney.

Kaiba's eyes widened. "Santa?" he cried in a small, frightened voice.

"I told you, I am _not _fat!" cried an indignant, dignified voice. A slipper fell down the chimney.

"What the heck," Kaiba groaned. "I'm talking to chimneys."

…Wait a minute: a _slipper…?_

"Pegasus?"

"No, I'm the boogeyman, silly," Pegasus said lightly, as he wriggled his way down the chimney feet-first. Kaiba could see Pegasus's thin-Santa suit, all red and white and… red and white. O.O I dunno. "Or maybe I should have said 'ya foo?' "

"PEGASUS!" Kaiba got up and ran over to the sooty man. "Hey, wait. Didn't Yugi just _clean _the chimney yesterday? We watched him, and laughed and ate popcorn and threw it at him and stuff. It was while it was snowing."

"Huh?" Pegasus was rather dazed, having arms suddenly thrown around his small waist, hugging him. Having just come out of the cramped chimney, he was trying to accumulate some air in his lungs. "Did I miss something, Kaiba-boy?"

"I'm trapped in this god-awful shop with that imbecile Yugi and my little brother, who keeps trying to get in-between me and…" Kaiba blushed. "Never mind."

"Who?" Pegasus asked, nonplussed by his ex-boyfriend's bizarre behavior.

"Uh… nobody."

"Oh. I see. So you've already replaced me." Pegasus gave the younger man a hawk-like glare that seemed strange and somewhat lurid on his dimly-lit face.

"No, I don't mean…" Kaiba was stopped by a silent shushing motion made by Pegasus.

"No, no. You're quite right to have replaced me. After all, you don't need _my _approval, now do you? No, no, there's really no prerequisite for dating again after a breakup except for the emotional ones, and you seem to have overcome all of those already. Enough to bring your short hiatus from dating to an end, it seems." Pegasus glared at him again. "But, _alas, _that's your prerogative."

"It's my prerogative!" Kaiba mumbled, knocking his wrists on an invisible surface to the beat of a similarly-named Britney Spears song. "I don't need permission/to make my own decisions/that's my prerogative…"

_Meanwhile!_

Yugi stared at Kaiba with wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide eyes. You thought his eyes were big before? Well, they were larger than the couch now, baby. Like eyes on eye steroids. …Big eyes! That's my point here.

"Holy cow…" Yugi looooooked to the right… looooked to the left… Criss-cross! Cha cha real slow! –Er, ahem. "Do you think he knows he's singing?"

/I think he's asleep, Yugi./

"Yeah, but why's he singing Britney Spears? I don't sing Britney Spears when I'm asleep…" Yugi presumed, adding cautiously, "do I? If I do, then _please _for godssake's tell me. And, _he's _the one who said it was gay."

/That what's gay? Sorry, I'm trying to hear the lyrics to what Kaiba-boy is singing over there./

"Don't say Kaiba-boy. It sounds like Pegasus. And I meant listening to Britney Spears is what he said is gay."

/Actually, I quite like her song featuring Madonna./

"Yeah… that's actually pretty cool."

/Yeah./

There was a pause.

"We can't repeat this conversation to _anyone,_" Yugi forewarned.

/Agreed./

Yugi stared at the supine form of Kaiba. The dignified CEO still mumbled lyrics to himself. Everything else seemed to stay very, very still.

/…You once mouthed the words to an Eminem song in your sleep, but you've never spat out Britney Spears. Or, you were singing the lyrics so softly that I couldn't hear them./

"…But didn't _he _say that people who listen to Britney Spears are _gay? _Or was that Mokuba?"

/Hmmm. I smell an innuendo./

"You _wish._"

/Hey! What was that for? Haven't I been helping you/

"Well, I can't let you do all the teasing," Yugi explicated gruffly. "Anyway, do you think we should intercede this? Like, wake him up or something?"

/I suppose./

"Since when were you British?"

/Je ne sais pas./

"Since when were you _French?_" Yugi snapped.

A small voice piped up: "Yugi?"

"Eep!" Yugi squeaked, freezing. Mokuba sat up and rubbed his eyes, looking at him sleepily.

"…Eh?" Mokuba sweat dropped—understandably, since the first thing he saw was Yugi sitting up arrow-straight, while on the floor Indian-style, a sweat drop trickling just past his ear.

"…Go to sleep, Mokuba," Yugi told him.

"Can I get a drink of water first?"

"Sure."

Mokuba struggled to his feet awkwardly, bumbling over his brother's form. Seto was still talking in his sleep.

"(Snore.) Remember the pony you said you'd buy me…?"

Yugi stifled a small giggle. Mokuba smiled worriedly. His brother didn't talk in his sleep usually unless he was having problems with something… Ah, well.

He stored the notion of something amiss far back in his brain and made his way sleepily towards the kitchen.

"Just take something out of the refrigerator, Mokuba. There's some bottled water in there. Just drink one of those and put it in a spot where you'll remember it."

"Okay…" Mokuba went into the kitchen.

Yugi turned back to Kaiba.

"…that's my_…_" Kaiba snored, "_prerogatiiiive…_"

_**Review!**_


	21. Kaiba's Morning Rambles

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a notsochipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! NO ROMANCE mokubayugi, kaibayami, both onesided. mentions of yugiteayami and past pegasuskaiba

By Sour Schuyler

Ooga booga boo.

It was the next morning. Yugi, Kaiba, and Mokuba had all slept like babies, despite the previous night's discrepancies. Now, it was 9 AM, time for breakfast. Yugi stepped into the kitchen. He was still wearing his pajamas, but had wisely put on sneakers to ward away the cold chill of the kitchen tiles. However, a chill racked his entire body once his other half made his morning announcement. It sounded innocent enough, but Yugi knew better…

_I made you toast this morning, koishii aibou. It's already in the toaster, you see, because I got you up a few minutes earlier and put the toast in, and then went back to bed and woke you up so it would be a "surprise." _

"Ok, okay—" Yugi froze in mid-step. Even as ectoplasm, the Pharaoh's ruby eyes, which were a see-through grey, twinkled with mischief. This was some sort of trap, or game, or… something. "Doushite?"

_Why, Yugi. You don't trust me? Me? Your friend?_

"Not as far as I can throw you," Yugi replied, stepping backwards and grabbing a piece of toast out of the toaster.

_But you can't pick me up. I'm a spirit, remember?_

"Yeah, I know. That was actually my point." Yugi was more preoccupied with finding the jam than with their current conversation. Besides, he preferred to think of the spirit of the Pharaoh as a solid figure, if only to keep the insanity at bay.

Catching the glimmer of the jam jar out of the corner of his eye, Yugi walked towards it. Suddenly remembering Yami's "game," he stopped again.

_Problem?_

"No way," Yugi muttered. He quickly padded across the chilly floor and grabbed the jam. He fished around in the silverware drawer for a knife.

_Aibou, that's the drawer for clips. The silverware drawer is…_

"Alright, alright, shut up." Yugi reached for the next drawer handle and tugged.

…

Nothing. It was stuck.

While Yugi wrestled with the wrathful silverware drawer, Seto Kaiba was just a room away, slowly waking up. The tall teen turned towards the kitchen doorway. Smelling something cooking (or burning, rather,) he pushed himself to his feet and began a slow, zombie-like shuffle towards his destination.

Meanwhile, Yugi was beginning to sweat from the effort of opening the stubbornly pesky drawer. "This thing's really jammed, Pharaoh," he said with suspicion. "What did you do?"

_Nothing, koishii aibou… nothing at a-l-l…_

"Hmph." Yugi tugged hard on the drawer handle again, determined to make the drawer respect him.

_You want respect from a drawer…?_

"Shut up," Yugi snarled uncharacteristically.

THUMP.

"Ohhh…" The figure clutched his head. Yugi turned.

"Hey, pal, you can't just walk in here—Holy shit it's Kaiba."

"Nngh." Kaiba groaned incoherently, falling into a chair and slumping his head on the table. "I…"

"Holy dead Kaiba, you're cow."

Kaiba paused briefly, his sleepy mind trying desperately to clutch straws. "I'm allergic to pork," he said finally.

"That's nice," Yugi said politely, still pulling on the drawer. "Darn it…"

"I haven't eaten cereal in three years," Seto confided.

"Uh-huh…"

"When I was little, I used to wish for a pet monkey to play with," the CEO revealed, pausing before adding, "but then Mokuba was born. …So I got my wish, y'see?"

"Yes, I see." Yugi had now taken apart a blender and was attempting to peel the drawer open with its blades.

"This one time, at…" Yugi winced. "…Duelist Kingdom…" Yugi relaxed a bit. "…There was this guy." Seto paused… and burped. Yugi's eyes tripled in size. "With long hair," the C.E.O. continued. "At Duelist Kingdom. I didn't like him."

"Pegasus," Yugi murmured, filled with quiet fury and indignation. "Why won't this drawer open…?"

"But later I liked him."

"Whatever Kaibakun. I'm busy."

Kaiba staggered to his feet and ambled stumblingly over towards Yugi and his inanimate adversary. Gripping the handle of the drawer, the CEO tugged once _–lightly._ The drawer came flying open.

All of a sudden, Yugi seemed to develop a nasty eyebrow twitch.

"And then…"

"NII-SAMA!" Mokuba burst into the room, breathing heavily. "Nii-sama, where are you!"

"Uh, Mokuba, he's right here." Yugi pointed to the tall, highly-noticeable figure sitting in his chair. Mokuba was standing _right _next to him, looking panicked and in a position to start running if he had to.

"Nii-sama!" Mokuba ran over to Kaiba and threw his arms around his neck. Hugging him close, he still yelled into his big brother's ear:

"Nii-sama, you haven't taken your medication…!"

Yugi fell over. "Whaaaaaaaat?"


	22. I Think I'm Paranoid

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a notsochipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! NO ROMANCE mokubayugi, kaibayami, both onesided. mentions of yugiteayami and past pegasuskaiba

By Sour Schuyler

I have nothing to say, except—

--hey! Don't cut me off there!

Mmmph!!?!?

…

x.X

It was an hour later. Yugi still hadn't stopped making fun of Kaiba.

"You take medication, Kaiba-kun?" Yugi laughed.

Kaiba's eyes narrowed into slits. "Yes, Yugi, you've only asked me that 50 times in the past 50 minutes."

"One time a minute… that's perseverance, no?"

"No."

"Awww, you're not fun, Kaiba-kun. I should've known, though, that it takes more to make an idiot out of you than a simple lack of coffee." Yugi grinned. Seto just harrumphed and sat in his seat, his arms crossed, angry eyes looking at the edge of the table, and the corners of his mouth tugged into a pout. A second later, Yugi's stomach rumbled louder than an avalanche on Mount Everest. Seto's eyes tripled in size, just like Yugi's had the chapter before. "Holy… oops! I forgot to eat breakfast!" the shorter teen duelist whined. "Grandpa would be cheesed at me! 'Eat breakfast every day,' he says…! 'Or else your feet will smell like hay…!' …I don't get it. Is it dirty hay? Did a horse take a dump on it or something? Sometimes Grandpa doesn't make sense. Anyway…"

"Hey," Kaiba said, "where is that old man anyway?"

Yugi, who had been dashing over towards the toaster at full speed, suddenly stopped. Putting his hands together, his eyes pulled down into a diabolical gopher look.

"Grandpa…" Yugi's eyes became shifty, his gaze slinking suspiciously from side to side, "is, uh… he's shopping."

"But we're snowed in."

"He's snowed in at the grocery store," Yugi explained. "At least he won't go hungry, ne? Unlike us."

"What do you mean… unlike us?" Kaiba's eyebrows narrowed.

"Well, we've been in here for three days," Yugi started to explain.

"Yeah, and you're point is…?"

"Well, think about it! He was grocery shopping! Why do you think we've been eating sponge cake for dinner? Because it's healthy?"

"I thought it was some kind of proletariat diet," Kaiba said flatly. Yugi glared evilly at his insulter.

"There's a middle class now, you know, Kaiba. It's not all proletariat and bourgeois."

"Ooh, so you knew what I meant!" Kaiba said excitedly. "Huzzah! You have understood! You must have stolen some of my brother's brain cells during your… _cuddle time…_ which, by the way, you are still not off the hook for."

"Shimatta," Yugi said in a bored, sarcastic tone. "I feel the impending doom swimming like a frightened fish within my heart. And it's only squirming because the worm it ate had digested laxatives. You're _really _scary, you know that?"

"…_Ew._" Mokuba gagged. "I did _not _need to hear that."

Kaiba averred, "Just because I rock, that doesn't give you the right to be a little wise--" Mokuba shook his head. "Fine. And I place emphasis on the _little _part. You're short."

The hairs on the nape of Yugi's neck rose up. A growling sound emitted from deep in the back of the short… er, petite duelist's throat.

"_I am not short!"_ Yugi barked.

"Uh, yeah you are," Kaiba restated. "You're a short _dog, _apparently, too, because the author just said you barked."

Yugi couldn't see straight. This adventitious insult only added to the emotional injuries he had suffered during the Kaiba's stay… and he was not happy about this one. No, not happy at all.

"_NO I'M NOT!"_

Mokuba looked up at the ceiling ponderingly. "Is ponderingly a word? …Maybe… that's the third time the fourth wall has been broken in this one chapter," Mokuba observed astutely. _Too _astutely… (shifty eyes)

"Aw, come off it, Yugi," the young boy said, walking up to the short duelist and… grabbing his hand? "Being short can be good for things. Like puppy eyes. Right, Yugi? And short people are always the best, and the cutest… and attract the most fan girls." Mokuba winked at Yugi, causing the older boy to giggle girlishly. Feeling a bit brave, Mokuba added, "And fan boys."

This caused Yugi to laugh—before he stopped abruptly. Then he sort of shuddered.

"What's wrong, Yugi-boy?" Kaiba demanded, imitating his ex-boyfriend. "I thought you were _gay._"

_Gay. _Yugi despised the way Kaiba said the word. All nasally and nasty. The words accused him, as if his sexual preference was an infraction against him, yet at the same time Kaiba sounded genuinely confused, and Yugi planned to use this to his advantage.

So. Kaiba really believed he was gay. Yami would've said that this was perfect, but Yugi didn't give him the chance. As he opened his mouth, words started to fly out of it like… uh… flies:

"Yeah, I'm sorry; I have a hard time admitting it to people still, and the way Mokuba said it, made it sound as if he was referring to stalkers; I hate stalkers; Stalkers scare me; probably because all of my past opponents always stalked me before we 'battled,' or dueled, or whatever. Pegasus stalked me and stole my grandpa; Malik stalked me and took my puzzle; I got both of those things back. And did I ever tell you about Imori, Kaibakun? I doubt I did, because I don't even think I told Joey and the whole ordeal was _really _freaky… He wasn't gay, but he'd been stalking me for a long time and stuff. It was really scary when I realized that, and I guess I became paranoid of stalkers. Well, stalkers would make anybody paranoid… Have you ever heard that song by Garbage? It's called 'I Think I'm Paranoid.' You know what's funny is that the artist is called garbage, so if somebody says, 'That music you're listening to is garbage,' you can act all proud and poof out your chest and be all like, 'Yes, yes it is! I bought the CD on Ebay. $9.95. Good value. I also bought extra copies of Green Day and a Jessica Simpson poster.' You know what I think about Jessica Simpson? She's _pretty. _Although I'm gay."

"…" Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "Yugi?"

"Yo?"

"You're a freak."

"Yo…"


	23. He Named The Mop

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a notsochipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! NO ROMANCE mokubayugi, kaibayami, both onesided. mentions of yugiteayami and past pegasuskaiba

By Sour Schuyler

**This chapter beta-read by Akio the Dragon Master! Woot woot! She says it's good. Is she lying? Review and tell me so I can pester her before school!**

Chapter 23: He Named the Mop

_Later: _Yugi groaned, unhappily washing off the counters in the kitchen. Somebody had to clean them while Grandpa was stuck in the store. They were getting sticky. Yugi didn't know why they were getting sticky, since nothing sticky had touched their surfaces during the past few miserable, wanton days, yet, they were sticky just the same. Sticky…

_Focus, Yugi, _he told himself. But he couldn't. Not with Mokuba acting so strangely.

'Yami?'Yugi called out mentally, looking at the small clock above the stove, which he was currently wiping off. How in the world could somebody _stain _a _stove _with _spongecake? _With the fillings, he supposed.

/Yes aibou/ Yami asked finally.

'Where were you?'

/In limbo./

Pause.

/I mean, PLAYING limbo, with the Dark Magician and his… he he, his girlfriend./

Yugi rolled his eyes. 'Awwww, they're so cute when they're in love, right?'

/Ewwwwww, cooties/ Yami cried in a nasally voice that accented his sarcastic humor.

'Yes, Yami, cooties. Horror upon horrors.'

/… "Shudder."/

'Did you just _say _"shudder?" '

/Eh, maybe? But you'll never know! For I am the great Limbo-ing Pharaoh! Whaaaahahaha/ Yami sent Yugi an m-image (mental image for those of you who don't share a body with an ancient monarch) of Yami taking his cape and pulling it up to hide part of his face while he fluttered, grinning malevolently.

'…Dude, you would make an _awesome _vampire. You could probably scare Mokuba and Kaiba away so fast, they'd… uh… be scared away! Heh.' Yugi sweat dropped, wondering where he was going with this. He decided to just move on. Something more serious was on his mind; something that made his stomach feel like an empty knot.

'But, I've got a serious question for you, alright? It involves the little 'rumor' you happened to expel around the household.'

If this notion of his was confirmed, then that knot was going to feel like it was on a miniature carousel that was strapped into a seat on a roller coaster.

/Yeeeeeeeees/

'You're enjoying this a little too much,' Yugi observed sourly. 'STOP it.'

/Oh. Ok. Sorry, aibou./

'Thanks. Anyway… Yami…'

/Yeah/

'Pharaoh…'

/Uh-huh/

'Uh, spirit…'

/Yes, Yugi/

'Uhm… intangible personage who keeps taking control of my body…'

/- -;; Just spit out the question, koishii aibou/

"Do you think Mokuba has a boycrush on me?" Yugi asked the clock quietly. At least, this is what it looked like to Seto Kaiba, who was _just _passing by. His eyes widened. Then, he ran down the hallway to look for Mokuba.

/A boycrush on you? Ewww, no. Why/

"Uh…" Yugi's voice lowered a number of decibels. "He's been kind of… um… smiling at me funny… I feel harassed."

/I could take over for you whenever he's near, if you like, mou hitori no ore… but I don't suppose that just because Mokuba has a smiling disorder--/

"A _smiling _disorder?" Yugi burst out laughing.

/Yes, a _smiling disorder. _It's perfectly reasonable, and don't be rude; just because he has one, doesn't mean you can make fun of him. I personally think that you're going nuts from the lack of fresh air, the lack of seeing anything outside but the color white, the lack of not being able to literally talk to anybody but a pompous rich snob and his tyke of a brother, who probably gets better grades than you do without even trying./

Yugi flinched. "Yami?"

/Hai aibou/

"Just be quiet for awhile, okay?" Yugi asked reproachfully of the Pharaoh. "Geez… I need a break."

/Try to juggle limes:D That's break-y. Although you might end up breaking stuff./

The whimsical image of the quondam Pharaoh, juggling limes while donning his Battle City clothing summoned itself in the forefront of Yugi's mind. He furrowed his eyebrows by a degree.

"What _is _it with you and limes, Yami?" Yugi wondered wearily as he wandered over to the fridge.

/I like limes. :D And limes like me./

"I'm sure they do…OO!" Yugi's chin slammed against the tile floor.

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" he screamed loudly. His fist tightened around the object which had caused him to trip.

Kaiba and Mokuba came _racing _into the kitchen like parents running into a room where a three-year-old had just bumped his or her head and was currently bawling his or her eyes out, snot dripping from his or her nose. …Political correctness sucks!

"Yugi, what happened?" Kaiba asked. He was huffing and puffing so hard his breath blew Mokuba's hair every which way like the wind.

/That's some ultra-strong breath! Kaiba's like the big bad wolf/ Yami observed.

"I… fell. And… screamed," Yugi grunted, pushing himself to his knees. His arms were a bit scraped, however, and one of them was bleeding just a tiny bit.

"Only an inferior duelist would scream when he falls," Kaiba snorted. Yugi looked up at him in bewilderment.

"Kaiba, what does me falling and screaming have **_anything_** to do with me being a duelist! And, if you're talking about a duelist screaming when he loses, _you _nag ALL THE TIME after you lose, so _shut up Kaiba-boy!_" Yugi screamed.

Kaiba and Mokuba's eyes were all the size of coconuts: Kaiba, for Yugi having countered by saying, indirectly, that Kaiba was not a duelist _exemplum_; Mokuba, for Yugi flying off the handle.

Yugi continued to lie on the floor, breathing very hard. After a few seconds, he managed to recompose himself to the point where he could talk normally again. "So, anyway, for dinner I found some stuff."

"... 'Stuff?' "

"I can see you're skeptical, Kaiba," Yugi observed (oh, so astutely)! "We can either have école or rice. You guys choose. Either is fine with me."

"What's 'école?'" Mokuba asked.

"Uh… it's a type of cabbage, I think." Yugi sweat dropped. "Of course, I can't exactly boil rice very well…" In a tinier voice, he added, "Or cabbage…" And, in an even tinier, tinnier, falsetto voice, he added, "And you guys _have _been my guests for awhile… so you _do _owe me some kind of compensation…"

Yugi pushed himself up to his feet, and recommenced speaking in a quiet tone: "So, you know… maybe one of _you _could cook…"

"I'll try it!" Mokuba cried, hopping onto one foot for no apparent reason. "It should be fun to try to boil rice."

By the loopy, hopeful grin on his puerile face it was obvious that Mokuba was in earnest to be unctuous. "It should be fun to try to boil rice," he said again. As if Yugi hadn't heard.

Yugi sweat dropped. '_Try_…?'

Kaiba, seeing his younger brother attempt to make the air radiate around him to attract attention, knew that his brother's efforts to gain Yugi's approval were far from over. In fact, they were nascent, inchoate operations, guided by a puckish schedule that was infinitely flexible. For Kaiba, that sucked.

Besides, Mokuba couldn't cook. And so, seeing the world in danger, Super Kaiba quickly put on his super-hero tights and took charge of the situation. That is to say… he decided to cook.

"I'll help," he offered. "We don't need you burning water, Mokuba."

Mokuba glared at his elder brother. This nasty look seemed to carom off of the taller boy, however.

Yugi rubbed the back of his head, which felt sore and achy, predominant over the scratches on his elbows and the very small tear in the bottom of his pants.

/Actually, aibou, that was there all day./

'And you didn't tell me?' Yugi replied in shock.

/Weeeeeeeell… no. I guess I didn't./

Yugi sighed deeply. It was only morning and already he was weary. Or was it even morning? The endless blanche outside made gauging time by the sky impossible, but the clock over the stove read 4:00. They were preparing dinner only a few hours after breakfast, but, if all went well, Yugi wouldn't help; the Kaibas were perfectly capable of cooking.

…Weren't they?

"…Rice is in the pantry. Pantry's next to the broom closet. Broom closet's next to the old, wet mop that my grandpa named Samara."

There was a long pause in which nobody said anything.

Slowly, as if reluctant to break the silence, Yugi reached up with one finger and scratched his forehead. "I guess I'll leave you too alone now," he decided. This was followed by an awkward shuffling out of the room.

There was more silence for a few seconds.

Mokuba turned to Kaiba with large, questioning eyes.

"He _named _the _mop_?"


	24. Celery? Celery? CELERY?

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a notsochipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! NO ROMANCE mokubayugi, kaibayami, both onesided. mentions of yugiteayami and past pegasuskaiba

By Sour Schuyler

I don't remember where I found out that Mokuba hated celery… but I _know _he loves chocolate parfait. It's in the manga. It's a wonder he's not fat. He probably loses pounds chugging along that huge briefcase that his _taller, stronger brother lets him carry. _What a cad.

**Beta'd by my friend Ashlee K! Thank you!**

Chapter 24: Celery? Celery? CELERY?

Culinary: It's a word that has to do with the ability to cook. You don't really need to know that; you can probably get through life without it; just don't read any cooking magazines, watch cooking shows on TV or take Nutrition in school, and, just to be safe, don't do any crossword puzzles. One of the answers might be culinary. But, you know, the word might come up a few more times in this chapter as well.

Dictionary-dot-com defines culinary as, "Of or relating to a kitchen or to cookery." Why is this relevant? The two Kaiba brothers had formed a culinary coalition. Why a coalition? It's a vocab word.

Anyhoo, the two knew that they were going to have to work together. Even the stolid, dispassionate C.E.O. admitted to this; neither of them were very good at cooking. Seto, at least, knew how not to burn water. Mokuba, unfortunately, did not. So, Seto had stepped in when Mokuba offered to prepare dinner, because he knew that Mokuba would have embarrassed himself. He didn't want that to happen; even if Mokuba's latest motives expostulated Seto's own, he wanted to be proud of his brother. After all, Mokuba knew what expostulated meant. Isn't that something to be proud of?

The trio was now bifurcated: Yugi was upstairs endeavoring goals somniferous, and the two brothers were downstairs, endeavoring goals edible; at least, they would have been, had they not just been staring at each other for the past minute.

"…I guess so," Kaiba answered carefully. "Anyway, dig around in that cabinet over there. Yugi said that the vegetable chiller was in there."

Mokuba smiled brightly. "That's kind of neat; do we have one of those?" he asked, getting down on all fours and opening the cabinet.

"Oh, I'm sure."

Kaiba carefully watched his younger sibling poke and prod his way through a mountain of chilled carrots, farms of pea pods and URF (unidentified rotten food). Unopened bags of potato chips lay in the dusty cabinets like tchotchkes, ancient representatives of a more magical, junk food-filled time. A happier time. A time without the Kaibas. When culinary prowess was replaced by shopping skills and credit cards.

"There's like, a farrago of uncooked veggies down here," Mokuba said with distaste. "There's even ce… ce… _ce… _(ugh!) _Celery_."

Celery was Mokuba's least favorite food. His favorite was parfait. Mmm… parfait-y! Kaiba made his younger brother eat celery on occasion, though; it was good for you! Kaiba didn't do this often often, though: his healthy exploits usually resulted in a rash of curse words and heightened scurrilous behavior. But in the end, Mokuba always ended up eating celery. Then he'd go use mouth wash. Why? Because he's whacko like that. And hygienic. When was the last time you washed _your _celery?

And actually, it had been at least a few months since Mokuba Kaiba had last crunched down on celery. So Kaiba thought it would be a good – and even amusing – idea to tell his brother to make some for Yugi. Leaning towards the open doorway slightly, Kaiba called out to the blonde loudly. "Hey Yugi, do you like celery!?"

"…Yeah," came the faint reply. Kaiba heard a loud and even sonorous _bump. _Turning, he discovered his brother was scrambling to get his hands inside the cabinet to nurse his injured head.

Kaiba smirked. Their next meal would feature celery, with some light billingsgate on the side.

His head inside the cabinet, Mokuba scowled at the dust bunnies. How else could Seto make the onus of cooking, even more inimical? (Here it comes…)

Presaging a recrudescent cacophony, his mind began a peregrination of tergiversation, aimed towards rapaciously extirpating and abrogating celery, in contradistinction of its being advocated as a predilection of his consanguineous sibling.

…And I'll give you a nickel if you know what every single one of those words mean. Heck, I'll give you four pennies if you even know what I meant! …It wasn't important, anyway.

"Mokuba, get the celery," Kaiba said nonchalantly.

"Like hell I will!"

"Mokuba, it's not nice to say bad woooords!" Kaiba sing-songed (if you can imagine that).

"I don't have to listen to you! You're a—"

"What am I?" Kaiba sneered. "_You're _the one with their legs sticking out of a cabinet. You have no idea how ridiculous you look."

Mokuba went silent.

Finally, he spoke:

"I don't want to eat celery."

"Hey, it's not _my _fault we haven't eaten veggies in a good long while," Kaiba defended, even though he _did _choose what they ate every other night. "And besides, I can't cosset you _all _the time; kids need to eat healthy food."

"You brought Pringles to the office the other week."

"Those were for our secretary."

"Yeah, right; she's on some kind of diet."

"No, it was a little congratulatory 'hooray for giving up on your diet' gift," Kaiba explicated.

"…That's _awful, _Seto! Make her feel bad, why don'cha?"

" It did. She felt so bad she went back to her diet and stuck to it austerely! She lost five pounds after that. Then she bought more Pringles." Kaiba gave a close-mouthed smile to his struggling brother. "See, my intentions really were good."

"…Can you help me out of this cabinet?" Mokuba whined suddenly. His wiggly form became still. "It's really dusty in here, and kind of dark. I think I'm stuck."

"…Sure," Kaiba mused. Although he pretended to be concerned about his brother's predicament, it was really quite risible… which made him feel quite bad. After all, Mokuba hadn't really done anything wrong to _Seto, _per se. In fact, he hadn't done anything "wrong" at all. On the flip side, Kaiba had accidentally hit his brother with a toaster. What kind of brother does that? He had also gotten mad at his brother for sleepwalking and for being helped onto his feet by Yugi after falling on a fork. And then he and Yugi had laughed about him falling onto the fork! Realizing this, Seto felt kind of low. Okay, so really low…

Then again, it wasn't just a small offense that Kaiba was dealing with here. Mokuba's crush and his crush were both inside the same body. It was almost like two brothers fawning over the same pretty girl, except Yugi might choose to bite somebody if someone called him pretty. Kaiba hated Mokuba's crush; Mokuba carried irate, if not frightened, airs whenever Yami was near. So everything was screwy and it was basically Mokuba's fault. Or was it?

The only thing Mokuba had done wrong was that he had harbored a crush for Yugi, whom Kaiba abominated anyway; he labeled the boy as some sort of "body-snatcher." (Of course, that would in reality be Yami.) Normally the elder Kaiba would regard discrepancies between him and his brother with utmost clemency, but Yami made it an exception. Since Yami was Kaiba's rival and crush, he was worthy of making an exception for. Besides, Kaiba wasn't without a mean streak in him…

So no mercy. Celery it was.

After wriggling out of the cabinet with his brother's help, Mokuba glared like a hawk at his older sibling.

"Celery," Mokuba hissed. "Celery. _Celery! _Why are we eating _that_?"

Kaiba shrugged. "You don't think that we should prepare something that Yugi likes? He is our host, after all, and celery _is _healthy. Maybe it'll help him grow."

Mokuba growled.

"Oh, get mad at _me_." Seto rolled his eyes. "I'm _just _trying to make Yugi taller. You know he'd like that."

"I'm _already _mad at you!" the younger Kaiba shouted. His light grey became darkened swirls of rage.

Seto gave him an odd look. "Chill out. It's just celery."

"It is _not _just celery, and you know that!" Mokuba seethed with rage.

"You need to manage your anger better," Seto advised. Mokuba grabbed the sides of his head.

"I can't take this…"

Seto frowned. Mokuba looked angrier than a charging bull on Valentine's Day. Maybe this wasn't a good time… But who cared? Time to "bug da bruddah."

"Mokuba, it's seriously just celery."

"But it's serious celery."

"You're going to eat it," Kaiba warned, his azure eyes flashing dangerously. He thought this would have tamed his brother, but apparently it did not. Mokuba nostrils flared as he snorted:

"Maybe you should go and stuff it up your—"

"Mokuba!"


	25. Cooking with the Kaibas 101

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a notsochipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! NO ROMANCE mokubayugi, kaibayami, both onesided. mentions of yugiteayami and past pegasuskaiba

By Sour Schuyler

* * *

Well, I think it's about time for a disclaimer, eh? Well, I don't own _Yu-Gi-Oh, _nor do I, in this chapter, own the song "I'll Cover You" that comes from that oh-so-lovely movie/play, Rent. :) I also stole a recipe for a celery dish from some Australian site called "Fresh for Kids." What can I say? I know nothing about celery. Or cooking. I'm a failure at life, heh. Oh, and I'm sorry I forgot to update this.

* * *

So… _cue _the Chrismassy scene._ See _the lazy snow outside that was lazily… squatting outside the window. _Hear _a busted radio belting out—

"_Leaving my house, I'll be your shelter/Just pay me back with one thousand kisses!/Be my loverrrrrrr! I'll cover youuuu-uuuu!_"

"_Open your door/I'll be your tenant/Don't got much baggage to lay at your feet/But sweet kisses I've goooot to spare!/I'll be theeeere and I'll cover youuu!"_

"…Seto, why does that sound like two guys?"

"O.O Uhm… I really don't know, Mokuba," replied Seto, who was unfamiliar with the song, "I'll Cover You," from the play and movie Rent.

"Never mind," Mokuba said abruptly, wanting to move on. "Let's just keep going… What else did you say we needed besides the—" Mokuba winced. "—_Celery_?"

"…We need garlic. And ginger."

"…I think Yugi has that in his pantry…"

"Prawns and coconuts."

"o.O Coconuts?" Mokuba shot his brother an odd look. Seto himself looked rather odd, as he was currently sweatdropping due to the song saying something about being one another's cult.

"…Look," Seto reasoned, shaking his head to clear it of any wayward thoughts, "this is the only celery dish I know how to make, and _it calls for _shelled_ prawns and _desiccated _coconuts._"

"…I don't believe that desiccated is a word," Mokuba snubbed. Kaiba rolled his eyes.

"Oh, please shut up and help me look for some."

"Why don't we ask Yugi?" Mokuba asked, smiling pertly at his big brother. Seto froze, and a cold feeling washed over his back.

"Let's just let him rest… I think he was going to take a nap or something."

"Why, are we that boring?" Mokuba mused. "What else do we need besides shelled prawns and decimated—"

"Desiccated."

"—defecated coconut?" (A/N: Hehehehehehe…)

"That's _desiccated._ We also need tomato sauce, and rice."

"—Yugi's allergic to tomatoes."

Seto blinked. "What?"

"I _said, _'Yugi's allergic to tomatoes,' " Mokuba repeated irately. Seto rolled his eyes.

"Oh, please. How would you know?"

"I just do! Really; you can ask him," Mokuba lied.

"Alright then… _cough! _Liar. _Cough!_ What do _you _think we should make for dinner?"

Mokuba looked back at the veggie chiller. "Why don't we just make the cabbage? We could… boil it, or whatever."

Seto was kind of put off by the way Mokuba sounded like he had no idea what he was talking about, but he nodded anyway.

* * *

Meanwhile, Yugi was outside in the hallway. He hadn't trusted the Kaibas enough to be left alone, so he was sitting on the steps of the stairs, able to see inside the kitchen at an angle. In truth, if either Seto or Mokuba took even a sideways glance in his direction, they would've seen him, but while Seto thought Yugi was going upstairs to get some rest (which Yugi admitted was a very good idea,) Yugi actually just wanted to sit down for a few minutes and think things over. Sure, he wanted all of this—Mokuba, Seto, and the upcoming dinner that was sure to be a fiasco—to go away, but he had to figure out how to do it.

/_Please _won't you just send them to the Shadow Realm,/ Yugi begged. /It's worth it! Think about it: no more Kaiba to challenge you to duels every single day, no more--/

**/I _like _dueling him everyday! If I don't duel everyday, my skills will get rusty! And if Seto doesn't challenge me to a duel, who will I duel?/**

/Uh… Joey?/

**/Yeah… Well, I guess I _could; _I mean he's come a long way since he started dueling…/**

/Make that a really, _really _long way!/

**/Why are you so anxious to get them out anyway, aibou?/**

/Why are you suddenly backing out on me?/

**/But isn't acting gay fun:P/**

Yugi sputtered in surprise. /Ex-_cuse _me?/ he responded angrily. /_No! _Of course it's not fun! I hate it! I hate everything about it!/

**/Are you sure?/ **Yami continued to tease. Yugi did not like the concentration of mischief that was leaking through their bond.

/What are you saying, dummy?/ he demanded.

**/:P/ **That was the only thing Yami had to "say." Yugi saw red at that moment.

/You're having WAY too much fun with this plan, you know, Yami? It was your idea, remember, and I could just as easily tell them that you're gay as well--/

**/But then you'd be lying./**

Yugi's eyebrows shut tightly. His hands were pushing against the cool metal gold sides of the Millennium Puzzle; his eyebrows were furrowed so low that they could be considered knit together where they met on his face; he had a _nasty _twitch on his right cheek. All in all, it was probably the ugliest Yugi had ever looked. He _felt _pretty ugly, too… ugly and nasty. And spiteful. And then his face unwound into its normal state, although his eyes were a bit… glassier… and his mouth was tilted downward.

"_Ohhhhh lover! I'll cover youuu, yeaa-aa-aa-aah!/ Ohhhhh lover! I'll cover youuuuuu…_"

"What the heck are they listening to?" Yugi squeaked, afraid to speak in a normal tone lest he explode. He stood up and made his way up the stairs, concentrating assiduously on each and every step he made.

**/Yugi?/ **Yami worried.

/I'm NOT talking to you./ Yugi pulled off the mental equivalent of a huff. He kept his eyes straight ahead as he walked down the hall.

**/I was just having some fun with you, Yugi,/ **Yami told him. He actually sounded a bit frightened by Yugi's sudden new demeanor.

/Well, obviously your definition of fun and my definition of fun are two very, very different things,/ Yugi decided. /After all, your definition of fun _sucks, _and mine is just like everybody else's. You, Yami, are a cheap son of a gun, seriously, you do know that right? Why are you helping them torture me like this?/

**/I wasn't trying to./**

/Like fun you weren't! You're the one who came up with this whole "pretend to be gay" idea! It's your fault!/

**/I was just saying you looked like you were having--/**

/I WASN'T HAVING FUN!/

If Yugi had spoken those words instead of thought them, and if you had been standing in front of him at the time, you would've been blown over backwards.

**/Look, I'm _sorry, _ok?/ **Yami apologized blandly as Yugi went into his room.

/Sorry's not good enough./

**/Yes it is./**

/No it isn't./

**/Well then… I'm _really _sorry./**

/…Okay, but no more making fun of me./ Yugi flopped down onto his bed. Taking off his Millennium Puzzle, he placed it on his nightstand. Yami sighed in relief.

**/Ok, aibou, I promise,/ **Yami… promised (what? He said he did,) watching as the shorter blonde snuggled into his pillow.

/Ok… Thank you…/

**/You're welcome./**

/I'm sooooo sleepy…/ Yugi sighed-slash-yawned into his pillow, before rolling over onto his side facing the Millennium Puzzle. At least one problem had been resolved. The two downstairs, though, would not be more at least a few more days.

"MOKUBA!"

Yugi didn't open his eyes, despite Seto's loud cry of exasperation that reverberated all the way from downstairs. Instead he determinedly forced himself into the more peaceful land of sleep.

"Mokuba, you idiot, you do _not _need that much of a flame underneath the pot!" Seto screamed.

"It wasn't my fault, Seto," Mokuba defended. "Their stove just decided to give that much of a flame! It's… it's a flaming stove! …A flaming _homo _stove," he giggled.

Seto glared at him. "You shouldn't be saying stuff like that! It's queer."

"You do realize that's a pun?" Mokuba laughed.

"Mokuba, if you don't watch out, something's going to catch on fire," Seto warned, watching the three-foot-long flame spurt from the stove.

"It'll be fine, Seto!" Mokuba offered cheerfully. "We'll just wait for it to die down." Mokuba grabbed a chair and pulled it towards him before he turned around and sat on it. (What? It's a _chair. _That's what you _do _with chairs.) His gray eyes turned to the flame, which flickered as if acknowledging Mokuba's presence. However, it was still three feet long.

"What kind of stove _is _this, anyway?" Seto grumbled. "It's like Yugi's family owns a flamethrower…"

"Better Yugi than the Ishtars, right big brother?" Mokuba said, reaching with his pointer finger extended to the flame.

"Mokuba, what are you doing?"

"Pretty…"

"Mokuba, don't touch that. Don't touch that. Seriously, Mokuba, don't touch that. Mokuba!"

Seto slapped the newly-discovered pyromaniac's hand away from the flame. Unfortunately, by doing so, he sent a wet dish towel that had been dangling over the opposite end of the stove spiraling downwards. It landed just so that its only dry corner was near the flame. In a minute, Seto had _two _three-foot flames to contend with. He turned to Mokuba, about to admonish him before he picked the towel up by its wet end and tried to toss it on top of itself.

However, he didn't get to.

Kaiba had mused that something might catch fire, but he never expected what happened next.

The _refrigerator _next to the stove caught on fire.

The normally impassive C.E.O.'s jaw hit the floor.

"Mokuba, get some water!"


	26. There is NO WAY you expected this

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a notsochipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! NO ROMANCE mokubayugi, kaibayami, both onesided. mentions of yugiteayami and past pegasuskaiba

By Sour Schuyler

* * *

There is a plot twist in this chapter that YOU DID NOT EXPECT. You couldn't of. There is _no freakin' way. _It's the _best plot twist ev3r. _And it's not only the person who shows up, it's what they do.

* * *

Chapter 26: There is NO WAY you expected this

Yugi lifted his head two inches off of the pillow.

"What's that smell?"

There was a faint, pungent smell in the air, a whiff of something… acrid. Kind of like smoke.

Propping himself up on his elbow, Yugi breathed in through his nose; the noise was a tumult, similar in sound to crashing waves.

A fluttering towards the back of his mind signaled, as would a soft sigh, that Yugi's as-of-late seditious soul sharer was asleep and dreaming as best a spirit could. Yugi gently closed the curtains on the notion that he should wake Yami. He rested his chin in one hand and began an insular debate with he, himself, and him.

The question to be discussed was whether or not to get out of bed. There wasn't an acceptable reason for him to arise, save for the smell, which had already faded.

If Yugi was uneasy because of the scent of smoke, he totally forgot about it; it was nothing compared to what happened next.

A portion of the far wall, painted a dark blue, was suddenly a lighter color than the snow outside — and glowing. Its sheer brightness convalesced until to look at it would be like staring at the sun. A man stepped out from the glare, and the light behind him evanesced.

Yugi's eyes widened quickly in recognition of this bizarre man. (Truthfully, he was very hard to forget. A large white turban squatted over a dark somber face; his slender fingers were wrapped around the base of a pair of golden measuring scales; an oversized key, also gold, was slung around his neck by a fraying rope. If all of this wasn't enough of an indication, the man was wearing long flowing robes that concealed his feet, and that Tristan had once mistaken for bathrobes.)

"Yes, it's me," said the man, before Yugi had finished his gasp.

"Shadi!" Yugi shouted.

The Egyptian's eyebrows furrowed slightly in annoyance. "Yes," he said with just the tiniest twinge of irritability, "it's me. I've come to—"

"What are you doing here?" Yugi gaped.

Shadi brushed by the interruption. "I am here because—"

"Are you here because of a disturbance in the Force?" Yugi wondered, throwing Shadi totally off track.

"I'm here because… uh… pardon?"

Yugi blinked. "You know… a mystical disturbance in the Force—I mean, Fates," he corrected, turning a light pink. "Oops… He he… The Force… Let's pretend I didn't say that."

As Yugi laughed off his mistake nervously, the taller, tanner individual struggled to resist the urge to raise his eyebrows.

"You are correct in assuming that something is amiss," Shadi informed Yugi in a boring voice. "It is my fault that the mystical alignment has been broken and that magical forces are now spiraling out of control."

If this had been a cheesy movie, Shadi would have been petting his fluffy white kitty as he made this announcement with a smirk and barely suppressed his gay-sounding laughter. However, this wasn't an Austin Powers movie, and Shadi's expressionless visage and monotone were starting to creep Yugi out.

/Yami/ he called nervously, only to receive a muffled snore in reply. It wasn't just _any _snore, though. The powerful Pharaoh was snoring out math problems.

**/The range is less than or equal to 0…/ Yami sighed in his sleep. Yugi bit his lower lip.**

/Yami! Wake up! We… We have a guest./

"Yugi," Shadi began in his usual mysterious tone, "you are the Chosen one in my experiment, a Test for the Gods."

"E-e-experiment?" the teen stammered. Suddenly the images of a goofy spy movie melted and were replaced with the essence of a horrorish _Dr. Frankenstein _spiel. Yugi paled, and then blushed at his supreme idiocy in paling. Shadi wouldn't hurt him.

Shadi waited for the "Chosen One" to speak, knowing that Yugi would probably interrupt him if he spoke first. However, Yugi remained quiet. His eyes were crossed and his tongue stuck out partially, as he concentrated very hard.

/YAMI! GET UP/

**/5 more minutes, mommy… that's only 300 seconds… divided by 15 is 20, cut in half is 10, plus 6 is 16, square rooted and times 2 is 8…/**

Shadi watched as Yugi rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. He was clueless as to what Yugi was thinking, but… he did have to explain what he was about to do.

"The experiment will—"

"What kind of experiment?" Yugi interrupted.

"The experiment is a psychological one," Shadi said, and Yugi immediately lost interest. "You see, I plan to switch the spirit of the Millennium Ring with the Pharaoh and see how they psychologically are affected and how they affect you."

"Oh, is that—_WHAT?_" Yugi fell out of bed, thumping his tailbone hard against the floor. "Eee… that's smarts."

/Yami Yami Yami Yami Yami Yami _YAMI!_ You need to get up—_NOW!_ Shadi's got a plan and it's NOT NIFTY/

**/Spiffy… but you do know that a hypotenuse is--/**

/YAMI! I don't _care _about triangles! I care about a hypotenuse right now as much as I care about vexillology/

**/The area of a 2 foot by 3 foot flag is…/**

/YAMI/

"Now, it is time to begin the experiment," Shadi announced, extending his right arm, palm up, bent at the wrist. "If the experiment is successful, I will be better able to understand the fate and destiny of those around me."

"And if it isn't?" Yugi whined.

" 'Failure is not an option,' " Shadi quoted. "Now please give me your Millennium Puzzle."

Yugi, frightened, still listened to what Shadi said, not really knowing what to do otherwise. He grabbed his puzzle, mentally screaming at Yami to wake up, but he didn't. Yugi placed the Puzzle in Shadi's palm. The Egyptian extended his other arm, holding out the Millennium Ring.

"It will be very bright," Shadi warned.

Yami woke up then. However, it was too late. If he had awoken just two seconds earlier, he could've stopped Shadi, and then given Shadi a speech at why his experiment was dangerous and why it shouldn't be done for the time being and how Yugi was in crucial need of protection, which Yugi didn't mind Yami saying because at this moment he felt he had swallowed a knife. At the same time Yami awoke from his mathematically inclined slumber, Yugi tried to stop Shadi himself.

"I don't think—"

But Yugi's complaint was drowned out when a noise like a firecracker screeching its way into the sky sounded, and Shadi's palms glowed. Yugi shut his eyes tight, clamped his hands over his ears. But besides the noise the transference was making, the worst one was inside Yugi's head. Yami was shouting for him… and then Yami screamed.

And then there was a wriggling presence rolling against his brain, like a small child struggling to free himself from a tangle of bed covers, or a baby chick pecking away at his enclosure. And then… Bakura was there. Yugi could recognize him instantly: his presence was so entirely different from Yami's that it must be Bakura. Bakura immediately sent him the mental image of the tomb robber sticking his nose up at him.

"What if he hurts me?" Yugi asked right away as Shadi handed him the Millennium Puzzle. Now that Bakura was _here, _Yugi had to ask Shadi _now, _before the nebulous man disappeared.

"Neither the Pharaoh nor the tomb thief will have any of their usual powers," Shadi explained. "The worst he can do is torture you in your own mind."

"Oh, wow, that's _fantastic,_" Yugi said sarcastically despite himself. Shadi blinked in actual surprise. So, the experiment was already having apparent results…

"I must be going. Farewell." Shadi turned around and towards a glowing doorway that had once again appeared suddenly on Yugi's wall. He stepped into it. The doorway shrunk to the size of a pencil eraser. Then it disappeared.

Bakura stuffily tried to shove Yugi's presence away. Yugi just stared at the spot where the doorway had been, his mouth wide open.


	27. How to Communicate With a Spirit

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a notsochipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! NO ROMANCE mokubayugi, kaibayami, both onesided. mentions of yugiteayami and past pegasuskaiba

By Sour Schuyler

A little note here: I don't care what you say, there's no way that you could have presaged the plot twist in the last chapter. Why do I keep saying that? Because it makes me proud. n.n Muahahha. I surprised you all! Now on with the fanfic.

Oh, and sorry about taking forever to get this out. I'm not sure if it's good. Not enough humor pumped it, kinda just to get the new twist moving along with everyone a bit more (un)settled and (un)comfortable. Enjoy anyway! In any case, review and tell me what you think, please please please!

Let's face it: when you deal with a person for a long enough time, you begin to think like that person.

If Joey, for example, was locked up, god forbid, in an elevator with Kaiba for fourteen hours, they would probably find something that they had in common. This is assuming that Joey talks enough to lure Kaiba into talking; and since Joey is loquacious by nature, it can only be assumed that this is what would happen.

However, in the case of Yugi and Bakura, a totally different type of ball field is used. Before Yugi and Bakura can actually communicate with each other with any sense of even the most fragile comity, there are emotional barriers that must be overcome. These barriers, like some people, are overly dramatic and sometimes theatrical in nature, like some doorknobs… er… or maybe actors. Yes, probably actors more than doorknobs.

Some examples of these in this situation may include the fact that Bakura is and has been trying to assassinate Yugi's soul partner for some number of years—3,000 _at least._

Something to point out that is also in this department is the fact that Yugi has encouraged Ryou multiple times to lock the Millennium Ring up in his closet and to never look at it again.

Plus, Yami has defeated Bakura at every chance he's gotten, and Bakura has always come back, making Bakura bitter and bent on defeating the Pharaoh and making Yugi frightened of what Bakura is and was capable of enduring.

Another could be that Bakura is a criminal votary with an agenda, while Yugi is more of a kind person who takes whatever life throws at him and smiles about it (after worrying for a bit, of course, but even Pooh Bear said "Oh bother" sometimes.)

Do I even need more examples? I mean, seriously. One wants to kill the other's soul partner, while the other one sees his new reluctant partner as totally evil. And do I have to point out which is which?!

The point of this cant is to highlight what you, the reader, already know: Yugi and Bakura can't just _talk _to each other after all that both boys have been through. Talk between them is an awkward, stumbling process, with much left unsaid.

At least, it was before. But this chapter should explain how communication was made easier.

…A little bit, anyway.

'''

/No barbs,/ was the first thing that Bakura told Yugi/and I'm not here to listen to you preach./

Yugi wasn't exactly sure what the word 'barb' meant, but it was clear as crystal from the context that Bakura did _not _desire to be there and he wasn't about to impugn that. He nodded and muttered a brusque "OK."

The petite duelist slouched in his seat, a grumpy expression hardening over his normally kind visage, like a cocoon to strengthen a fort – or in this case, a gondola, as Yugi's sanity was more likely to tip over with every passing moment. After all… at what point does one begin to compare one's mind to a _gondola!? _

Strange-y.

Yugi's eyes wandered over the floor. His gaze happened upon his science class notes. He leaned over and plucked them up, exhuming them from the dusty place that was almost-under-the-bed-but-not-quite.

Yugi ran over the basics of cellular respiration again: glycolysis, Krebs cycle, electron chain transport. His eyebrows were furrowed low in concentration. Yet, it seemed impossible to concentrate; powerless or not, an ancient, bonafide tomb robber was lying around his neck. Bakura, for his part, was clearly bored, making sure to send loud, obtrusive yawns through the mental link for the purpose of interrupting Yugi's studies.

_That thief is in my MIND, _Yugi reminded himself nervously. _I have to be careful what I say and think. But if I don't ask him to cut that out, I'm never going to be ready in time for that test next week! _(This was ridiculous, seeing as the snow-in had postponed school indefinitely.) _Krebs cycle, ATPs… who needs this stuff, anyway? Nevertheless, I should still ask._

You may wonder why Yugi was studying his biology instead of trying to communicate with Bakura. Well, imagine that Kaiba and Joey were trapped in an elevator for hours and hours. Kaiba and Joey would both try to occupy themselves before even attempting a little communication. Both of them would probably have chewed off their own limbs before and bled half to death before they even allowed themselves to ask the other what time it was.

Bakura yawned again, once again putting a stopper in Yugi's nervously assiduous studying.

/Could you try not to do that?/ Yugi requested meekly, still quite nervous in the face of the thief. He was met with a sharp glare sent mentally. /…Or… could you make your yawns just a little less orotund?/

/What does orotund mean?/ Bakura snapped sharply.

/Uh… full./

/My yawns are 'full?'/ Bakura scorned. /And that means what exactly?/

/Uh… just that… well… it's full in sound. I dunno; it was a vocabulary word awhile back, I don't really remember it./

/Yadonushi remembers vocab words./

/Uhm… I'm not yado… him./

Yugi bit his bottom lip, wondering how he should refer to Ryou when speaking to Bakura. The Pharaoh called Yugi his _aibou, _or partner, but Bakura spoke of Ryou as his _yadonushi_. Sometimes tailed with a sarcastic _–sama, yadonushi _meant landlord, innkeeper, or parasitic host. Yugi didn't want to call Ryou a landlord, but how else was he supposed to get his point across to Bakura?

Bakura just sneered, finally appearing to Yugi's left in a filmy, ghostly form.

/No, you're too stupid to be him. He read this chapter the beginning of this week./ Bakura crossed his arms and, just to freak his new "aibou," (very sarcastically put,) let the ectoplasm from the two appendages bleed into each other, giving the impression that they were melting.

/That doesn't mean he understands it,/ Yugi countered defensively, turning to avoid the creepy sight. Bakura floated until he was invading Yugi's personal space, two inches from the boy's nose. The thief stared at him with a sour look on his face. Yugi's eyes opened wide. /Eep. You're creeping me out, here./

/Am I really so creepy?/ Bakura asked without moving his lips. Yugi nodded.

Bakura floated away, back to Yugi's left, a few feet away from the desk. He smiled—a cruel-looking smile, perhaps, but the blank stare Yugi had just received was infinite times creepier.

/Well, that's a plus, I suppose. Intimidating yadonushi gets hard sometimes. He's pretty stubborn, the idiot. So, anyway, cellular respiration is basically a cycle that uses oxygen to get energy from food. There. I've done my good deed for the day./

Yugi gaped.

/What?/

Yugi still gaped. Bakura's left eyebrow twitched.

/…What?!/

/…You do good deeds?/ Yugi asked, a sweat drop making its way down his lovely head.

The tomb thief growled. /It was merely a way of speaking… a figure of speech, if you will. I don't do good deeds./

/But you saved Ryou on the blimp,/ Yugi recalled. /And that was… well, that was pretty good. It was a _nice _thing to do. Oh and I don't think that's a figure of speech./

Yugi noticed how Bakura winced when the word 'nice' was said.

"What's wrong with being nice?" he wondered, talking aloud for the first time since the switch. "I, for one, was actually pretty impressed by it."

/It wasn't like I wanted to,/ the grievous ghost griped. /It was absolutely necessary for me to continue existing./

/Oh./

Yugi thought there was something funny about this, but stayed quiet. He kept his head low over his textbook as he talked, continually ignoring the grumpy figure left of him. He was uncomfortable talking to the spirit, and he had to study. Yugi began to read aloud:

"FAD is similar to NAD+, and FADH2 is similar to NADH."

The blond duelist absolutely abominated how shaky his voice sounded. It was too highly obvious that he was nervous, and he couldn't stand it. He mentally strived toward strengthening his voice.

"Molecules of FAD and NAD+ accept highly-charged hydrogen ions in order to become their counterparts, FADH2 and NADH…"

Yugi stopped. He'd felt a niggling notion in his noggin… but no. It had been nothing. Bakura sneered at Yugi's blatant lack of aplomb. Yugi sighed; perhaps he should restart the chapter to refresh his memory on why FAD needed hydrogen ions. As he searched for the page, the shuffling of papers seemed very loud until he found it. Yugi cleared his throat, but tried to disguise this motion by coughing.

"Photosynthesis' function is to capture energy; cellular respiration releases energy. Photosynthesis takes place in the…"

What was he forgetting?

_Keep going._

"…chloroplasts, but cellular respiration in the mitochondria.

"The reactants of photosynthesis are carbon dioxide and water, and the products are glucose and oxygen. In… in cellular respiration, the reactants are glucose and oxygen while the products are carbon dioxide and H2O, as well as energy… so the final waste products are CO2 and H2O. O2 + C6H12O6 becomes CO2 and H2O…"

/You're boring me. Stop saying the same thing over and over./

"I'm sorry, I'm not always so interesting," Yugi huffed.

/No, you're pretty much boring all the time,/ Bakura remarked. Yugi looked up.

"Hey, am I forgetting something?"

/About photosynthesis? Why would I care enough to know?/

"Ah, never mind…" Yugi shook his head. "Okay, so… I'll just sum this up instead of reading it all again."

/Good idea. You're so boring, it's intense./

"Intense boredom? Kind of oxymoronic, don't you think?"

/Just shut up and get on with it./

Yugi grinned lightly. "Fine… Cellular respiration begins with glycolysis, which produces two molecules of py… pih… puh… shoot! _Pyruvic _acid," he butchered, "which is a 3-carbon compound."

Strangely enough, Bakura seemed to pretend to have interest in what he was saying, like a friend who is listening to your essay but doesn't really care all that much.

/…Uh-huh? And then what?/ he prompted boredly.

Yugi still had that feeling that he was forgetting something. This feeling would not go away. It was like a bothersome fly perched on his nose, staring him down while insulting his mom.

"Eh, like you care. After glycolysis, the next stage of cellular respiration is either fermentation or the Krebs cycle."

/Yeah?/

"Fermentation is anaerobic because it doesn't need oxygen… oh!"

_Does not need._

Yugi blinked. Of course! What an obscure way to remind him of what he was thinking about, but…

"Bakura," Yugi started, looking the spirit full in the face. "You didn't need Ryou… you wanted to keep him as your host. Like fermentation doesn't need oxygen… you don't need Ryou. You'll just find another way to keep going, like the Krebs cycle or whatever."

/Sounds scientific,/ Bakura marked acerbically as he returned to the Puzzle.

"You don't need Ryou, but you wanted him as your host. If Ryou had been… destro… destroyed, or killed or something, you could've still lived in the Ring. You just wouldn't have had a body."

/So what?/ Bakura growled.

/So, your defense is weak,/ Yugi concluded.

/…My defense? What defense!?/

/The defense in this conversation./

/The defense in this _conversation_?/

/Yep. That's what I said./ Yugi grinned.

/…So you think of conversing with me like a duel?/

Yugi thought about it for a moment. /…Actually, it's more like unlocking a safe,/ he decided. "Anyway! Yeast and a few microorganisms use alcoholic fermentation, but most other organisms use lactic acid fermentation!" he exclaimed with enthusiasm. "Isn't that _fascinating?_ Studying is sooo boring."

/Am I a "good" safe?/

"Excuse me?" Yugi was caught off guard with this innocent question.

/Am I a safe that would be work unlocking?/ Bakura questioned, his "voice" filled with genuine curiosity.

/No, you don't see--/

/So I am not./

/Quiet, I wasn't done!/ Yugi huffed. /I meant to say that you're not really the safe itself, you're what's inside of it./

/Oh… Well then; am I good?/

/I don't get what you're saying. What do you mean by good?/

/Am I… valuable?/

"Well, you seem to think you are," Yugi expressed softly, "locking yourself away like that…"

There was a pause.

/…Oh,/ Bakura realized. /You mean I don't talk enough about myself. Geez, that was a circuitous way to go about telling me. Fine."

Dark Bakura exited the Puzzle and assumed a form of ectoplasm. Yugi noticed that, though transparent, he was wearing his garb from Battle City.

The stolid thief bowed deeply. /Hi, my name's Bakura, and I'm a regicide. I like meat, Ryou and blood. I'm a… actually, I forget my horoscope sign. But I hate long walks on the beach and kittens that haven't been declawed. I'm currently single./

Yugi fell over, sweat dropping tremendously. The ghost straightened up, rolled his eyes in flustered cheerleader fashion, crossed his arms, and looked at Yugi expectantly.

/Well?/ he prompted. /How did I do?/

/…You like Ryou?/

/Not in the way _you're_ thinking of./

/Ah./

/But, yes. As a host, I like Ryou. More than you./

/I--/

/MORE THAN YOU!!!/

Yugi fell over in his seat. /Okay, okay… I feel hated./


	28. Da na na What a twist!

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a notsochipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! NO ROMANCE mokubayugi, kaibayami, both onesided. mentions of yugiteayami and past pegasuskaiba

By Sour Schuyler

* * *

So… I'm going to Canada today. So I thought I should update this, since I got a small slew of reviews the day previous. So I reread the whole thing, correcting some typos here and there, and consulted my "notes" on where this project is going, and I put together this chapter. Enjoy it. :) And review or my life will have no meaning. And I won't update this, either.

* * *

Having had to look after his brother at the age of 10, and having been in charge of his own company for a little over a year in addition to suddenly being the twice-orphaned paterfamilias, Kaiba had a predilection for making sure things never went wrong. And that meant ignoring the small beer in life in order to make a schedule to live his life by.

On the other hand, Seto knew that his younger brother wasn't an expert planner. His game to gain his crush's heart was, rather than logical and in sequence, desultory. He was playing a scapegrace, being as wild and reckless as he was.

Still, Seto worried. Yugi was a lot more friendly towards Mokuba than he was towards him; he even used _yobisute _with Mokuba, placing no honorific at the end of his name.

But then again, it wasn't Yugi that Seto liked, it was Yami, and Yami used yobisute with everybody and everything. And Yugi's opinions didn't necessarily reflect the old Pharaoh's — wait, _old?_ Yes, Yami was old. Yami was so old, he was ancient, like an antediluvian river that had seen the beginning of time.

…_Well, that might sound a tad too deep,_ Seto admitted, _but he _was _there before the birth of Christ. If I believe in that sort of thing. …Which I do, but I won't admit it…_

"Seto?"

"Yeah?"

"Almost all the flames are gone. You can probably stop doing that now." Mokuba looked at his brother with dinner plate eyes. Kaiba had found a blanket, and had quickly smothered the fire.

Having had to look after his brother at the age of 10, and knowing that Mokuba couldn't cook, Kaiba knew how to take care of fires. It was like Smoky the Bear said: Only _you _can prevent forest fires. But in this case, Smoky was talking distinctly to Kaiba and to no one else. _Only _he could prevent forest fires. Only _he _could prevent forest fires. Mokuba was a retard when it came to anything pyro.

"Alright… so… now what?" Kaiba asked to the air. The vice-president of KaibaCorp gave him an odd look.

"Let's just keep cooking," Mokuba sighed.

"I think we burned what was in the pots," Seto pointed out.

Mokuba's sigh became more abysmal. "Then let's just get some more. But first I have to go to the bathroom," he said.

"Alright," Seto said. "Not that I needed to know that."

Mokuba fleered. "If I _hadn't _said where I was going, you would've asked, 'Mokuba, where are you going?' And don't say that isn't what you would say, because I know that's exactly what you're going to say when I say that you were going to say that when I finished saying this."

"…What?"

"I gotta pee," Mokuba shortened, his hubris completely flying over his elder brother's head. "I'll be right back."

"'Kay."

Mokuba made a theatrical affair of leaving the kitchen as dramatically as possible; Seto rolled his eyes. Once out, Mokuba strolled down the cold hallway, thinking about… things people think about when they're about to go to the bathroom. Y'know… _I hope there's toilet paper, I hope the toilet isn't clogged, I hope I don't start purging in the toilet again. _Regular things.

Mokuba opened the door to the bathroom, stepped in, and… went about his business. What? You didn't really think a sixteen-year-old girl was going to go into full detail about an eleven-year-old boy peeing were you? Of course not.

However, I will go into detail about what happened _afterward: _Mokuba looked at himself in the mirror. Frowning at his girlish appearance, he wondered what kind of girls, and gays, Yugi had dated in the past. Hopefully better people than the ones his brother had dated. His brother's latest ex-boyfriend… Mokuba never wanted to see again.

Thinking about this and his romantic quandary, Mokuba's finger traced the stitching of his pockets until his hand dove in to retrieve the billet-doux.

He screamed.

"It's _GONE!_"

Not leaving the bathroom, Mokuba panicked, his face becoming florid at this most recent addition to the imbroglio of the household. Where could the letter be…?

_What if it's fallen out of my pocket, _Mokuba thought. _What if… What if Yugi's found it? When could it have fallen out? _

_I did sleep with it in my pocket, _Mokuba reasoned, _so it could have slid around in my pocket and fallen out of my pocket easily when I got up to… do what? What did I get up to do?_

Mokuba planted his hands of either side of the sink and groaned. "I'm doomed if he finds that letter," he said to himself. He highly doubted it would receive plaudit from his crush, no matter whether he was gay or not. And Mokuba had wanted to present it to Yugi, anyway.

Outside of the bathroom door, Kaiba, who had come running at the sound of his brother's scream, wondered what Mokuba was moaning about. "Mokuba, are you alright?" he inquired. He heard a light sob from inside. "Come on out," he coaxed. The door open and Mokuba came out, stricken.

"What's wrong?" Seto placed a firm hand on his younger brother's shoulder.

Mokuba shrugged it off. "Nothing," he lied between his perfect multi-millionaire's teeth.

-

Meanwhile, Yugi was almost enjoying teeing the discontent spirit off. Every time he completed a math problem, he would spin around and give an unenthusiastic "woo" noise. Bakura wrinkled his nose.

/You do realize that school isn't going to be anytime soon/ Bakura pointed out, gesturing towards the window where the white sky matched the white foreground.

"Yeah," Yugi said.

/And, you know, you look like you've been wearing the same clothes for three days./

At this, Yugi beamed proudly. "I have impeccable grooming skills," he said. "If you really want to see me change that badly, I suppose that my pants _are _rather baggy."

Getting up from his chair, Yugi made his way to his closet. Now, it is not above me to write about sixteen-year-old boy's changing their pants. FIRST, Yugi took his pants off. THEN, Yugi slid new pants on. There you go. Worship my fan service as I gave you the pantsless Yugi Motou.

Yugi picked up his discarded garment and checked all the pockets before tossing it into the laundry hamper. This search yielded one small letter.

/What's that/ Bakura asked, bored and showing it with a yawn that sung sonorously through their mental link.

Yugi glanced at it quickly. "A really, _really _old shopping list of my mom's," he said in a puzzled voice. He folded it and put it on the corner of his desk. "Now, help me with these pre-cal problems."

/And why should I do that/

"WWRD."

/What/

"What would Ryou do?"

/Frankly, my dear, I don't give a darn./

"What's that from, anyway?" Yugi asked, getting up again to sharpen his pencil. In which he stuck the pencil in the electric pencil sharpener. And it sharpened it! Ooh, I'm so good at describing things, aren't I?

The roar of the electric sharpener managed to shake the desk next to it just a tiny bit; enough for the letter to fall off the corner of his desk and to be banished to the mighty and terrible Under-The-Desk.

/Your grocery list fell/ Bakura pointed out lazily.

"Thanks." Yugi bent down (in which he bent his knees and drew his body forward) and reached for the single most disgusting piece of paper in the whole house.


	29. Banter! Odd conclusions!

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a notsochipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! NO ROMANCE mokubayugi, kaibayami, both onesided. mentions of yugiteayami and past pegasuskaiba

By Sour Schuyler

La di da di daaaa…

It's my birthday today. :) Hurrah! I'm still alive even after another year! I personally think this is one of the best examples of banter I've ever written. :) So please, please, _please _review it!

Perhaps, Mokuba thought pensively, it would be better if Yugi _did_ read the letter, without Mokuba being there for the abysmal rejection that was sure to follow. And yet, Mokuba couldn't help but feel hope writhe inside him; it tingled inside his stomach and chest, made shaky his arms, and drew his attention away from the task at hand.

"Mokuba! You're going to hurt yourself with that knife!" Seto protested. Mokuba looked up at Seto, seeing him but not really seeing him. "Mokuba, are you okay?"

The young boy blinked his large gray eyes. "Of course big brother," he said, flashing a winning smile that would've won an award for sweetest looking grin on an anime's child actor. Seto looked quite sick when he saw it.

"…Are you alright?" he asked, not without a mite of trepidation. Mokuba nodded furiously. "…Oookay then. Let's just finish making the food _without _the knife, then." He stole the knife away from Mokuba, who pouted.

"Why?" he mourned.

"Because you were about to chop your fingers off!" Seto asseverated. Mokuba growled. "Now give me the knife, or I'll sell all your stocks and buy Christmas presents for myself with the money I get."

Mokuba rolled his eyes. Because Seto's lifestyle was a strange mélange of frugality and decadence, it was hard to predict what his motives were financially. But his big brother was not _that _stupid. …Yet. …Whatever that means.

"I'll be fine," Mokuba said. Though in his brain disconsolate ideas were screaming at him, these three words emitted from his lips with no difficulty at all.

"You sure?"

"Yeah…" _I think…_

-

Yugi grabbed the troublesome slip of paper and placed it in his left back pocket. "So, will you help me with my Pre-Cal?" he asked, absent-mindedly wondered why there had appeared to be some white out on the back of the grocery list. Taking it out again, he went to look at it…

Which was the exact time Bakura showed Yugi the meaning of the word 'barb.'

"Bakura?"

Bakura looked up, surprised at the amount of bitterness in Yugi's voice. "Yessss?" he hissed.

Yugi glared, stuffing the paper back into his pocket. Bakura sure sounded like a snake, if he didn't already have the personality of one. "That's not funny."

"Just because it's not funny doesn't mean it's not true," Bakura taunted. Yugi turned and glared at the spirit, crossing his arms.

"Well, if I was a dim-witted tomb thief that hadn't had a successful heist somewhere between three thousand and five thousand years, I'm sure I'd feel that way too."

Bakura's eyes flashed. "Dim-witted? I'll have you know that I happen to have more brain power than _you _could hope of possessing, as well as infinite wisdom that comes with experience only time could teach you."

"In other words, you're smart because you're old," Yugi chuckled.

Bakura's nostrils flared. "Yes, I suppose that's what I just said. I, however, look much better than your Grandpa. And seeing as I've got a good couple of thousands of years on him, I'd say that makes me aesthetically superior."

"If you're attracted to vampires," Yugi shot. "Who wants somebody whose skin is so pale that a child could trace all of your veins with a magic marker? What the heck _happened _to you, anyway? And who told you it was cool to prop up only your bangs? It doesn't make you look cool. It makes you look more like a vampire, and vampires are dweebs."

Bakura raised an eyebrow. "_I'm _a dweeb because my bangs make me look 'like a vampire?' Is that what you're implying? Whatever happened to _you _being a dweeb, because you wear black and have that ridiculously huge chain holding up your cult trinket?"

"Are you calling the Millennium Puzzle a _cult trin—_"

"Don't interrupt me," Bakura interrupted. "You have your hair spiked up and you were wearing black clothes during the Battle City movement, but you always have a smile on your face, _or _you have this pouty _'_oh no, somebody could be hurt and the Pharaoh may not be able to fix it!' look. It's like you're either trying to be emo, angsty, gothic or gay. Sometimes in combinations."

"I—"

"I said zip it. Nobody wants to see somebody wearing all black and then smiling like the abortion issue was just settled and everybody is happy and cake was served. _Nobody_."

"Those jeans were blue."

"Nobody wants to see a goth in denial, either. Your facial expressions imply, 'Hi, I'm Yugi! I'm a stuck-up little puritan that can never do anything wrong! Say no to drugs!' And your clothes relay an opposite message."

"My clothes say that I do drugs?"

"You are what you wear."

"I'm a Gap?"

"Sure. That could be an astrological sign. I could be a Levi."

"You suck," Yugi insulted, although he gave Bakura a tentative, fearful glance. "And why would you call Battle City 'a movement?'"

"Because Kaiba _obviously _organized it just to see how many people he could summon to see him whip your fanny in a duel. Remember how the finals were packed? That's because he wanted to bring duelists together to watch you get whupped. He wanted people to adore him and offer praises to him, as if anybody ever thought he was a lesser man because you defeated him."

"They did."

"No, nobody really cares. Actually, Kaiba should be thanking you for taking the Egyptian God cards away from him. What with his fans, his theme park, and his company I'm sure he didn't have enough time to be chased down by a mob demanding that he duel all of them."

"Aw, Kaiba just wants the attention," Yugi cooed mockingly. Bakura looked at him shiftily.

"So we both agree," Bakura decided.

"Yes," Yugi said cheerfully. "Seto Kaiba thinks he's God."


	30. No, I forgot you tried to kill me

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a gloomy Yugi's house during a snow day… which turns into a snow week. Too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! mokubayugi, kaibayami, both ONESIDED. Mentions other pairings

By Sour Schuyler

* * *

#musical note# Mentirosa… (mentirosa!) Mentirosa… (mentirosa!) #musical note#

Silly song… Hm… a manga-only event is mentioned in this chapter. If you don't know about it, I'll explain about it in a little note before the next chapter. Just know that Mokie's one bad dude. :P

OH! OH! And _MAD PROPS _to tinkle-time-kelly for reviewing every chapter within 2 days! That was awesome! Also, you inspired me to update my summary a bit, for a second time. Is that better? Now the "No Romance" thing is taken off… And if the Yugi in this story were aware of it, he'd probably be rather upset.

* * *

Incognizant of Bakura and Yugi's mutual acknowledgement of his everlasting arrogance, Seto Kaiba made his way up the flight of stairs to inform Yugi of dinner's preparedness.

"Yugi! We have dinner ready." Seto rapped on the closed wooden portal to Yugi's bedroom. He heard the shuffling of paper; and what sounded like a drawer opening crookedly with a honk as wood scraped against wood; and finally slow footsteps coming towards the door. At this time, satisfied, Seto strode quickly down the hallway, not wanting Yugi to see that he'd actually come up to get him—that he'd actually bothered.

_I can't let the Pharaoh starve, _Seto mused, _even if it's Yugi who has to do all the eating._

Yugi was slow in coming to dinner. Kaiba was halfway down the stairs when the quiet closing of a door reached his ears, and was in the kitchen well before Yugi emerged in its doorway. Mokuba looked up from his plate to briefly glom his crush. He was stunned at how unwell Yugi looked. He did not seem virally sick or feverish, but sluggishness and fatigue were evident, screaming in the slump of his shoulders and the slight bend of his neck. Another thing Mokuba took note of was the cautious look in Yugi's eyes, like those of one tackling a new situation.

The preteen laughed. "Geez, Yugi, the food isn't that bad. It won't kill you. Seto even ate some of it. Sit down and quit looking like that."

Yugi smiled and nodded. "Heh… I'm Ok. I just got distracted and I… fell out of my chair and hit my head against my bed frame really hard." Yugi brought his fingertips up to an evidently tender spot underneath his left ear. "Ow…" He pulled up a chair next to Mokuba. Something giddy flip-flopped inside the younger boy's stomach.

Kaiba passed Yugi a fork. "Sorry the food is kind of mismatched," Mokuba apologized. Yugi eyed his plate hungrily anyway, his eyes voraciously taking his dinner. Pieces of cabbage lay neatly on his plate, along with three sticks of celery that sat next to each other like three little graves. Cold meatballs were heaped onto a plate in the middle of a bed of fresh-looking lettuce.

"Looks good," Yugi murmured. He placed a hand on his ear.

"Is something wrong?" Seto raised an eyebrow. Yugi blinked at Seto's concern. "Usually you have some sangfroid about you, Yugi." Another blink. "…You're usually calm," Seto translated.

"Ah. I just have a headache," Yugi said. "I… ya'know… voices in my head. Screaming. Trying to screw me up."

"He does that?"

"_He _does," Yugi said apprehensively. Seto picked up a fork, imbibing Yugi's statement with relish. So maybe the Pharaoh wasn't as nice as he let on. Good. No one liked a goody-goody.

"So how long did it take for you to make dinner?" Yugi asked. Mokuba sighed. "What?" Yugi laughed.

"It seems like _forever. _And look—celery."

Yugi picked up a piece of celery with his fingers. "So?"

"Disgusting."

"What? How can you not like celery? It's so crunchy!" Yugi placed a stalk in his mouth, crunched down, and grinned. Mokuba shuddered. "What? …Ah, you're more of an ice cream person."

Mokuba was taken aback. "What? How did you know that?"

Yugi rolled his eyes. "Who _doesn't _love ice cream?"

"Ahem." Seto raised his hand.

The shorter teen stared at the brunette with eyes half-lidded. "You haven't lived," he hissed. Yugi turned back to Mokuba, and continued: "And, anyway, remember when I spent the night at Seto's house?"

Awkward silence.

"Joey was there too," Yugi said, ignorant of the innuendo, "and in the morning we ate breakfast with you, Mokuba. Remember? And we nearly got killed because you tried to… y'know, kill us."

Mokuba looked at Yugi with eyes large enough to outsource the moon. "You _remember _that?" he squeaked.

"Noooo," came the sarcastic reply, "I totally forgot about all the times you guys tried to kill me."

"I was kind of hoping," Mokuba shared, "that maybe you'd hitten your head extra hard and you'd forgotten."

"Is hitten a word?"

"No," said Seto, glaring at Mokuba, who should've had a better education than that.

"That's okay." Yugi jabbed at a meatball with his fork. "I forgive you guys. …_Now._ …Mokuba, don't cry!"

Yugi's arms flew around Mokuba, which caused the younger boy to blush terribly, and didn't at all ameliorate the trembling of Mokuba's shoulders. "Are you okay?" the top duelist inquired.

"Yeah," Mokuba whispered. Seto stared unblinkingly at the pair.

"Uh… Yugi… could you get your gay mitts of my brother?"

Yugi stuck his tongue out at the C.E.O. and snuggled closer to Mokuba. The dark-haired boy eeped. "Just kidding," he said, dropping his arms and leaning back into his own seat. Mokuba's eyes were intense.

"Look, now you've scarred him for life," Seto remarked. "I should sue."

Yugi rolled his eyes. "What could I possibly give you?" he pointed out. "So, yeah… anyway… I forgive you. Y'know, for the whole…" Yugi stuck the meatball in his mouth. "Mm… hey, this isn't cooked."

Seto sweat dropped. "We decided not to play with fire."

"Yeah, sometimes our appliances go haywire."

Seto sweat dropped even more profusely. _He could have told us that before, _he mused murderously. He glowered at Yugi, but didn't say anything. Yugi ate so silently it was as if noise was negligible.

"…Does your head still hurt?" Mokuba asked after awhile, when they were almost finished eating.

Yugi swallowed hard—the loudest noise he'd made since their conversation had stalemated. "Not as much," he admitted.


	31. Zee fourth wall, she is broken

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a notsochipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! NO ROMANCE mokubayugi, kaibayami, both onesided. mentions of yugiteayami and past pegasuskaiba

By Sour Schuyler

* * *

Weeeeeeeell… I haven't read this manga in a while, but I do recall that Mokuba's a horrible kid. Seto had some guys pick Yugi and Joey up in a limo and take them to his mansion to stay the night. In the morning, they met Mokuba, and during breakfast they played a game with Mokuba where their lives were at stake. It was revealed that Mokuba loves ice cream and that his least favorite food was celery. Anyway, Yugi and Joey ended up surviving, of course… and Seto's response to "Your brother tried to kill us?"

The oh-so-wise Seto Kaiba said, "Boys will be boys." Maybe the frilly robe he was wearing at the time was effecting his brain. Anyhoo.

There's this lovely fic of mine called _Playing House_. It's co-written with my penpal, Kat, AKA Maiden of Time and Space. We would much appreciate it if we got even just one new reviewer? I'll love you forever. ;) Just kidding. …But seriously, please?

Fun fact! Ipso facto by the fact itself, by the very nature of the deed, as an inevitable result

* * *

Chapter 31: You Wouldn't Understand

Mokuba still hadn't been able to locate his lost love letter and, _ipso facto, _was steadily falling into a deep panic. Yugi's bizarre actions at mealtime—his headache, the way he wrapped his arms around Mokuba (as a joke?)—they all made Mokuba feel all the more pained, all the more confused.

_What if Yugi had read the letter before he came down to eat with them? _Yugi had directly spoken to him at dinner, had looked him in the eyes, and had even hugged him, but he had brought up… that time. Mokuba wanted that time left behind him. He was an entirely different person now. Still, Yugi may have brought it up as a way of telling Mokuba why he was rejecting him… and yet, Yugi had hugged him, which could be a sign of affirmation of one's affections…

Mokuba wished he knew more swear words. Then the author wouldn't have had to use such long words to justify his emotions. …Darn it, I broke the fourth wall.

Anyway, a knot was forming in Mokuba's stomach, as well as a cataract in his eye. What had Yugi done that could be interpreted? Had he even read the no— Wait.

What was _that _thing?

- - -

Yugi couldn't explain it, but after being yelled at by Bakura for the almost entire course of dinner, he felt… refreshed.

Of course it had given him a headache. Of course Bakura had said all sort of mean things. But Yugi had thought it was a good thing. Like Martha Stewart.

It was stupid, okay… but the short teen had begun to feel jaded by his other self's incessant, playful teasing; flat-out insults from Bakura now felt invigorating and refreshing. They were like slaps to the face, or buckets of water poured on one's head, lurid, shocking, waking him up and keeping him alert. They were… different. It wasn't something he could explain to anyone else, but he _liked _having Bakura make fun of him. If the switch had happened at another time, Yugi would've been very discontent having the tomb robber inside his Millennium Puzzle, but under the circumstances, he was a little grateful. Yami had been taking the gay jokes too far, and the worst part had been that Yugi hadn't known whether or not he had meant the things he'd said. At least Bakura hadn't caught on that Yugi was masquerading as a homosexual yet. Yugi didn't even want to think about when that would happen. What kind of deranged disputation would follow that discovery? Bakura was more direct than Yami. He would make fun of Yugi differently, and Yugi would always know what he meant.

And what was Yami up to? Had he relinquished the details of Yugi's predicament to Ryou, ipso facto making Ryou an accomplice in their little web of lies—

_Web of lies? _Yugi criticized the story's narration. _First, Ryou would not be an accomplice, and if he was, it wouldn't be his fault. It isn't as if my telephone is working, or he has a way of contacting the Kaibas. Second, what does ipso facto mean? Why does the authoress like using weird words so much? Is she just inserting them in hopes that she'll remember them for a vocabulary test tomorrow? _

…Um… yes… Well, at the time this was written, I _did _have a vocab test the next day. Wait, I wasn't planning to break the 4th wall this much… Oh well. Things like that happen, I guess.

- - -

The richest and, _IPSO FACTO, _laziest person in the house, Seto Kaiba grumbled as he watched Yugi graciously clean up the postprandial mess left in the kitchen. Although not usually one for menial work, Seto felt that the mess—_his _mess, that _he _had made with such _care _since it was to be eaten—should be cleaned by _him, _who could better understand it than Yugi. Yes, Seto felt a deep connection with those food stains. They spoke to him, and touched his heart and mind, and…

Actually, he just didn't want Yugi to notice the small charred area on the counter. The boy was actually whistling while he worked, and each time his song ceased for even a second Seto would involuntarily flinch, wondering if Yugi had happened upon the scar of the dinner gone bad. Of course if Yugi found it, Seto would just boldly insist that he would pay for it, and then maybe brag about how rich he was. That would be fun. However, in the drab surroundings of Yugi's little "shack," that boasting threatened to actually make him homesick, and thus even more irate.

Seto scrunched his face up, wondering if it was possible that anyone had gotten trapped in the KaibaCorp building during the time of the snowfall. If so, they could be touching his stuff!

Man! This place sucked!! Why wasn't the snow melting? How hot/cold was it outside? If a tree fell in a forest… did it make a sound? Was that joke too cliché by now?! And how was he going to get Yami Yugi to come out again this time?

And why wasn't there destruction of the fourth wall in _this _spiel, but there was in Mokuba and Yugi's? Life wasn't fair for poor Seto Kaiba, I am telling you. But… he stayed strong, chic, and irresistibly Seto! (Which basically meant he was still acting like a jerk.)

_I am going to act tuff, _Seto thought. _Tuff with two Fs and no O. Or G. Or H. I am not going to let this place get to me. I _am _going to beat Yugi in a duel. And I am going to get Yami Yugi to take his shirt off, sometime within the next ten chapters if the author remembers!_

Seto smiled. It was always good to occasionally remind oneself about one's goals. Coincidentally, Yugi was thinking the same thing. His goals, however, were to somehow distract the Kaibas so that he could watch his movie semi-uninterrupted, and to get along with the foreign spirit currently residing in his Millennium Puzzle.

Mokuba, however, wasn't thinking of goals. There was too much white noise in his head as he bent over, peering closely at a discarded piece of paper on the stairs. Scribbled importantly, on one side, were words like _bacon, milk, medicine, _and _cheese doodles._

He knew what was on the other side. He picked it up between his numb thumb and pointer finger. The crackling of thoughts in his head increased tenfold.

What was the note doing here?


	32. What if? What if? What if? What if?

Am, 'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a notsochipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! NO ROMANCE mokubayugi, kaibayami, both onesided. mentions of yugiteayami and past pegasuskaiba

By Sour Schuyler

* * *

I like pie. Review my shit. Ungh!

* * *

Chapter 32: What if? What if? What if? What if? What if?

Mokuba's frazzled mind could scarcely comprehend all of the events that could have possibly occurred.

On one hand, Yugi might have just had a hole in his pocket.

But if he had it in his pants pocket, wouldn't he have surely read it?

On another hand, maybe Mokuba had dropped it here, and it had gone by unnoticed.

Or maybe Yugi had discarded it? Maybe he only saw an old grocery list and didn't think it was new information?

That wasn't impossible, but, would Yugi have actually dropped a piece of paper on the stairs? Maybe he wanted to trip someone? Maybe he just wasn't careful and it had fallen out of his hands? Maybe he loved to clean and was trying to make a mess for him to clean up?

Maybe Yugi hadn't _understood _the confession?

…It wasn't exactly subtle, was it? Mokuba reread it (A/N: see chapter 14 if you already forgot what it said ;P):

Yugi, … you're **_gay, _**… I hope you are, … I've had one of the **_biggest crushes_ **on you, … (Plus Mokuba had forgotten to write "won't" in the phrase, _**I probably get loved in return**,_) … **_liking _**you, … **_cute_**…

If Yugi hadn't understood that letter, he had to be either retarded, or Joey Wheeler in disguise. But where would Joey have bought a wig that crazy? The Dollar Store? No, if Yugi hadn't understood that letter, then he was probably just retarded.

If Yugi _had _already seen it then… what had his reaction been? Mokuba bit his lower lip. Disgust? Anger? No, not… anger… Yugi hadn't tried to hit him or anything.

_He hugged me._

Then again, Yugi had pointed out one of Mokuba's most grievous faults: he had tried to kill Yugi a year ago.

_He hates me._

But didn't Yugi say he'd forgiven them?

"_I forgive you guys. _…Now," Yugi had said. What did he mean by now?Was it, _now _that so much had happened since the Death-T that he forgave them, or _now _that he knew of Mokuba's crush, he forgave them? Did he want bygones to be bygones to be with Mokuba? The preteen's heart raced.

Then again… what if Yugi hadn't read the letter at all? What if he hadn't read it at all?

_What if he hasn't read it at all? _Mokuba repeated this thought in his head, aspiring to calm himself, but instead he just wired himself up even further. His stomach muscles tensed and he found that he was holding his breath as he ruminated on what might have happened. _What if he hasn't even read it at all? What if he never even saw it?_

_What if…_

What if, with effrontery and ego, Mokuba placed the note, confession-side up, where Yugi would be sure to see it? On a textbook. In the mirror in the bathroom. On a tack placed on Yugi's favorite chair.

That way he would see it. That way he would know.

Mokuba's hands trembled as he silently folded the paper four times into a small square. Placing it in the pocket inside his jacket, he headed up the stairs to think this through some more.

Did he want Yugi to see it?

He did.

Did he want to know Yugi's reaction?

He did not. And yet he did at the same time. It was like giving someone a birthday present you had picked out yourself, without knowing what their reaction would be. …And if that present happened to be a homosexual crush, then you give _weird _birthday gifts.

But for sure, he wanted Yugi to know… and to _accept _that he was liked.

By Mokuba.

After all, Yugi _was _gay. He could handle it if Mokuba happened to have a boycrush on him, right? Maybe he'd laugh it off, and think that was it cute. It would still be a form of rejection, but it would be less harsh…

"Eep…"

He stopped in front of Yugi's doorway. If he placed the note where his nii-san might see it, his brother might… blow a casket.

_Wait, is it blow a casket? …I don't get it. Does he mean he's going to blow up the grave of some dead guy? _Mokuba wondered, then added, _…or girl. I've got to be politically correct. _

_...Who cares?_

Mokuba crossed the hall and entered the bathroom. Shutting the door and locking it for privacy, he began to think about where he should leave the note.

_I could leave it on his pillow, _Mokuba thought. _But what if I… er… I really hope I don't sleepwalk again._

_I could leave it here, in the bathroom… I could tape it to the mirror… but I don't know where the tape is, and nii-sama would probably just tear it down. And then nii-sama would know what I'm up to, and it would make everything harder._

_I could just… give it to him…_

A blush burned on Mokuba's face. If he presented the billet-doux to Yugi in person, then he would have a choice: to exit the room while Yugi was reading it, or to stay and see his reaction.

He gulped. _Would I be able to handle seeing his reaction? What if I wanted to leave but I just… froze up… and saw him reading the letter?_

Mokuba imagined it: his eyes glued to Yugi's face, his crush's facial features transforming because of what he was reading, a smile or a scowl, and either way Mokuba's feet glued to the floor… Wanting to leave, to look away, to even just close his eyes, but being unable to tear his gaze away from Yugi's visage, to analyze the imminent expressions.

_RAP! RAP! RAP!_

"Mokuba, are you in there? The door's locked." Yugi's muffled voice sounded from the other side of the door.

"No duh it's locked," was the answer that somehow flew out of Mokuba's mouth without thought. "I'm using the bathroom!"

"I gathered that," was the terse reply. "Anyway, Mokuba, I need to talk to you. Finish up in there, 'kay?"

"I wasn't planning not to," Mokuba said. Where his wit was coming from, he wasn't sure; a bell was ringing loudly in his head. Picking up the note, he stuffed it into his pants pocket. He was just about to open the door. To face Yugi.

_Wait, now I really do have to pee, _he thought. He sighed. "Be right out," he called, before unzipping his pants.

…_did you really think I was going to write in depth about a 11-or-12-year-old taking a piss? gross. that isn't very likely. what is likely, though, is that you review. right?_


	33. I Dream of Filler Material

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a notsochipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! NO ROMANCE mokubayugi, kaibayami, both onesided. mentions of yugiteayami and past pegasuskaiba

By Sour Schuyler

* * *

I know what all of you are wondering: Is Yugi gonna find out that Mokuba likes him? Well, I'm here to give you the scoop. The answer is: **maybe.**

I hope I haven't spoiled anything by admitting the answer. …You're not getting any hints. Except for the person I've already told. …Maybe you've forgotten who you are. It's all good!

I've forgotten the disclaimer for awhile, haven't I. Well… along with Yu-Gi-Oh, there are many things I don't own in this chapter. I own none of the songs, characters, manga, or comic books referenced in this chapter. Also about this chapter: _What? _Sometimes I don't feel like being serious. Oh, and thanks to the two reviewers of the last chapter!

* * *

Chapter 33: I Dream of La Jinn the Genie of the Lamp

Seto Kaiba liked to be in control, even while he was sleeping. At first his dream was just a muddle kaleidoscope of blurred colours. He was perfectly aware that he was asleep, however, and so he struggled to create some kind of story in his mind. Eventually his belaboring to refine his dream yielded a semi-coherent sequence.

His dream began with Yugi singing to his infernal Britney Spears CD.

"—that I'm not wastin' my feelings on you/Loving you means so much more/More than anything I ever felt before!" the Duel Monsters world champion sang. They were in his living room, and Yugi was standing in front of the TV as if giving a performance in front of Kaiba, who was sitting on the couch. Then the whole scene melted away in disarray. At first Kaiba felt like his sanity was atrophying like brain tissue, but then he realized what was obvious (although in most cases, people rarely realize it): he was dreaming.

Taking comfort in this realization, Seto greeted the new scene of a dark den with a roaring fireplace and plush furniture warmly. The rich purple wallpaper and dark wood assured Kaiba that this new segment of the dream took place in his own house, a bastion where relatively insane things didn't usually happen. A spirit of concord, of harmony, was placed in the young CEO's sleeping mind. The only thing that would consummate the scene and make it absolutely perfect would be… but yes! There it was!

A gigantic textbook filled with Seto's favorite math problems was settled on an expensive-looking end table. He picked it up joyously and sunk deep into the comfortable cushions of the couch, ready to pick out the answers to ludicrously impossible math problems without even writing anything down… only, he sunk into the cushions too deeply, and he fell through them into a purple abyss of forever. He landed sharply on his back. Moving out of his recumbent position, he searched for a way out of the endless purpleness, grousing all the while because he'd hurt his back. Finally he reached a door. Pulling on its handle, he found it locked. He cried out incoherently in frustration, angry at his incarceration. After all, this was his dream! Shouldn't he choose whether or not he was trapped in a weird, large, purple room?

As he thought this, the door chose to open. Seto stepped through it without fear; after all, dreams can't hurt you.

An ax fell from the sky and cut off his arm.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Seto screamed and flailed his one arm and his stub of another arm.

In front of him was a giant golden object, so large that he could scarcely see where it sloped off and curved around. Looking up, he still couldn't identify it. Wanting to lean against so he could rip his shirt apart (yay!) and try to tie up his new arm-stub, he drew near it and ended up collapsing against it.

"This is the worst dream ever," he groused. "Why can't I control it?"

"Because, Kaiba-boy," came the infamous voice over the squeal of fuzzy slippers. Hot chocolate swished in a tiny mug held by lithe fingers, attached to a hand, attached to an arm, attached to a torso, below a neck, which held up a head…

The instrumental to _Real Gangstaz _by Mobb Deep played in the background as Seto stared in horror.

"What happened to your face?!" he exclaimed. In place of the sorta, kinda comely face of Duel Monsters creator, there was a giant scab, with a bump where the nose should be, indents where the eyes would be, and no hole for the mouth. It was as if Pegasus had taken a gigantic scab and decided to wear it as a mask.

"...It's a new face mask," Pegasus averred.

Seto scoffed. "Oh please. That ugly thing? It being a facial mask is about as likely as Vegeta from Dragonball Z going to a Parent-Teacher conference with Trunks."

"Ooh! I smell a fan fiction plot," Pegasus said bemusedly.

"I think that would figment would make for a mundane story," Seto said defensively, "if it was devoid of nuance, and then that story would leave its author in ignominy and… uh…" Seto checked the author's school vocab book to see if he could insert anymore words into that one sentence. "Uhm…"

* * *

Someone from my school reads the last paragraph and is left aghast. "So it's true!" they mutter. "She really _does _do that!"

* * *

"Why are people from the author's life in my dreams?" Seto groused.

"Why is a remix of Pitbull's _Don't Stop the Rock_ playing in the background?" Pegasus countered. Seto hadn't noticed it before, but it was.

"Let me, see ya in a thong, ohhhhhh ong—" came the song, apparently from the walls.

Seto grasped both sides of his head. "Why is there a rap song I've never heard of in my head?!"

Pegasus added consideringly, "And why do I know the name of it…?"

The song fortunately ended, and a parody of The Real Slim Shady, called the Real Slim Santa, began to play.

"Y'all act like you've never seen Santa before?/Toys all over your floor/Who the hell you think brought them?/It wasn't drunk dad, or your mother, that--"

Pegasus burst out laughing. "Wow! Somebody really wants this fic to be PG-13, don't they?" The feminine man continued to chuckle, as Seto's eye twitched nastily. The song continued to tell the tale of Santa losing weight in order to be sexier. It was so _wrong_. And yet, it warmed Seto's heart with the spirit of Christmas. And suddenly, he felt happier than the last time he'd run over Joey with his car.

"Would you like to use my magic lamp?" Pegasus said. A sheepish but mischievous smile donned his face as he reached behind him and pulled a small golden lamp out of the air. The head of Industrial Illusions then offered it to his ex-boyfriend.

"Didn't you read the paragraph before the one that started with 'Would you like to use my magic lamp'? I'm _happy. _I don't need your magic lamp."

"…You just sprained your ankle," Pegasus narrated. And, as this was a dream, it became so.

"OW!!! I really wish I could wish the pain away," Seto expressed with a grimace.

"Flesh wound/flesh wound/with medication it will fade!" Pegasus sang.

"Korn?"

"Excuse me?"

"You're quoting Korn?"

"Yeah, why not."

"Ohh-kay." Seto shook his head.

"Anyhoo…" Pegasus cleared his throat, indicating that he was about to deliver a grand speech. "I am about to deliver a grand speech." (That was an indication, too.)

"About what?" Seto inquired, immediately wishing he hadn't done so.

Pegasus flicked back a long lock of (?)-colored hair. What color is (?)-color, you ask? Whatever color you ascribe to Pegasus' hair. Sometimes it looks purple, sometimes pink, sometimes white… so it's purhiteink.

"Throughout your life, Kaiba-boy, you have remained somewhat of an agnostic, not in a religious sense, but in the sense that you are a doubter, a skeptic, and other such synonyms for agnostic the authoress may find in her vocabulary book," Pegasus began.

"Someone should burn that thing."

"Indeed. Anyway, so as to bring some more joy into your life, I offer you this magical lamp!" Pegasus held it gaily in front of him. Whether Pegasus' expression was gay, or the way he held the lamp was gay, is it to you to decide… no, never mind; I'll choose for you: it was both.

Seto took in the lamp's golden surface with wide eyes, wondering how the calculate its surface area mathematically. As the breakage of the fourth wall abruptly ended, the wall behind Seto was suddenly filled with sad looking dead bunnies nailed the wall.

Suddenly, not just the bunnies, but _everything _behind Seto looked like it had been drawn by Jhonen Vasquez. The CEO, sensing some creepiness behind him, turned around.

And there was Sasuke with the biggest shuriken Seto had ever seen. He flung it at him, and Seto began to rub the magical lamp furiously.

Unfortunately, Seto's head was slice in two just a La Jinn was summoned.

The giant green genie crossed his arms and gave his trademark laugh. "Hm hm hm."

* * *

Seto awoke with a sweat, only to fall out of the kitchen chair and hit his head hard against the tile. Passing out just as soon as he had awoken, the teen fell into another strange dream. But meanwhile, Mokuba thought he was living a dream. Yugi wanted to talk to him? He was almost afraid to leave the bathroom. But, of course, that was silly. Opening the door more slowly than a door-opening sequence in a Resident Evil game, (and with the same sound effect,) Mokuba entered the hallway… 


	34. The Title's Under the Author's Note

'Sno Luck

Mokuba and Kaiba are stuck at a notsochipper Yugi's house during a snow day… too bad for a VERY hetero Yugi, Mokuba likes Yugi, while Kaiba likes Yami! NO ROMANCE mokubayugi, kaibayami, both onesided. mentions of yugiteayami and past pegasuskaiba

By Sour Schuyler

* * *

**What? Only **2** reviews last chapter! (Eh, I've gotten less.)** ROAR!** I demand more reviews. (It would be nice.) I don't even care if you want to flame me… I'm that much of a review pig. (The pigs go moo, the cows go oink.)**

* * *

Chapter 34: I Miss the Sky

"Sorry for bothering you when you were busy," Yugi said once Mokuba tread into the hallway. "I didn't really need to talk to you, I just… wanted to use the bathroom."

Mokuba's hitherto racing heart broke as he stepped aside so that Yugi could enter the bathroom. When Yugi's fist had rapped on the door, Mokuba had been shocked to realize that Yugi had read the note—and what's more, that he was going to confront him about it. He had exited the bathroom with his head hung down, peeking up through one gray eye with caution and curiosity, expectant of either a rejection or an acceptance. Instead, he had been thrown aside—Yugi hadn't needed to talk to him, it had just been to distraction so Mokuba would leave. By the way Yugi was wiggling before he'd rushed inside to use the facilities, Mokuba would say he had to go pretty badly, too.

As if to aid this train of thought, Yugi let out a relieved sigh audible from the hallway.

Mokuba rolled his eyes, his expression that of Hermoine rolling her eyes that Ron gets his spell wrong _again_ and she's ashamed to admit she knows him.

"Get my hopes up like that," he muttered darkly.

"What?" Yugi zipped up his pants at the same time he entered the hallway, making Mokuba blush and sputter.

"U-Um… nothing…" The preteen turned away, trying to forget the fact that the small portion of Yugi's boxers he had been able to see were Barbie pink.

Yugi placed his hands in his pocket, and let out another loud sigh… which was followed by another. "Um, see ya?" It was a question offered as Yugi began to depart, heading down the hall. By instinct, Mokuba followed.

"Hey, Yugi, wait!"

But the blonde teen (well, blonde/raven-haired/redheaded teen) didn't seem to hear him. He continued until he reached what was once a window, where one could reach outside. Now it was just a glass gate leading to a white wall.

"It's been so long since I've seen the sky," Yugi said, aggravation adding a tiny tremor to his voice, "because the snow even covered up the deadlight, so there's nowhere in the house that you _can _see the sky…"

"There _is_ one place," Mokuba said, weariness creeping to his voice. Such stress… such snow… such snazzy undergarments. _Mokuba had the same pair. _They could be clothing twins one day, and not even know it. _Does Yugi shop at the Domino Gap Jr too? I guess he's short enough too…_

Mokuba snapped out of his thoughts because of the tiny skirl Yugi's sneaker made on the wood floor when the turned on his heel. His violet eyes were totally and completely focused unwaveringly on Mokuba.

_...Gulp. What the heck?_

Surprise! REVIEW response! 

dragonlady222- CEO's were made to be tortured. …And, besides, I ran out of ideas for where this fic was going. And thus the last chapter was born.

Akio the Dragon Master- Yes, I was going for suspense in the last chapter. What did you think of this one?


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